WEBVTT

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[Meredith] The day you discharge
a patient who nearly died

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is a very good day.

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It has never, ever been about me!

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I do love you!

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I want you.

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Say it. I love you, too.

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-We're done.
-[door click echoes]

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[crying]

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[Koracick] I'll be in my car.

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Lot B, 7:00.

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You say your goodbyes.

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You wish them luck. We can't do this.

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And you hope like hell
you never see them again.

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[reporter] Here at the Trade Center,

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we are getting reports
that a part of the tower

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has collapsed.

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[Meredith] Because
when a patient does return,

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there's a very good chance you screwed up.

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[Teddy] I have loved you
when I was coupled up.

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I have loved you when I was single.

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I have loved you
every second of every day.

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Teddy.

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I love you. I'm in love with you.

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I'm in love with Cristina.

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And then you'll be looking back
to find what you missed,

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replaying every moment
to find the one thing

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you could have done differently.

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[door click echoes]

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And if you're like me,

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you'll obsess over finding that mistake.

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I'll make pancakes.

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[heart beating]

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Until it drives you out of your mind.

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[Baby Allison] Mama, I can't--

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-[crying]
-Hey.

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Everything's okay.

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-Okay? You want some more?
-[grunts]

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There. Look at me. Mama's okay.

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Okay?

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-I want Mama.
-I know.

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Mama.

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[door opens]

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[sighs]

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Hey.

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[sighs]

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It's the, uh...

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It's the raspberry jam you like,
from the farmer's market.

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[distorted] Teddy, you should really eat.

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Even if you're not hungry.

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Teddy.

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[normal voice] So, Meredith's stable.

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Not off the vent but stable.

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Webber says he wants to try
and wean her off the vent

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in a couple days, so...

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[sighs]

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[click]

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[click]

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[sighs]

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Mom sent me a video of Leo.

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[distorted] They made up
this new game where--

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where she pre-- she pretends
to wrap him in pillows

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and he pretends like
he's sleeping on a cloud.

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It's [chuckles]-- It's really adorable.

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[normal voice] Teddy.

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[knock on door]

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-Hey.
-Hey.

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-Thank you.
-Is this really necessary?

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You can't get her to drink a sip of water?

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-No.
-Do you want me to try?

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I've been tested. I'm negative.

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Me too but it's not a good time.

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Allison's napping.

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But thank you for the fluids
and I'll keep you updated, okay?

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Owen.

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Let me try.

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Let me try to help.

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Okay.

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Yeah.

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[breathing heavily]

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[heavy breathing continues]

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Hey, Altman.

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Is everything okay?

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Yeah.

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Sorry. Um, aren't I supposed to be here?

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-I don't know.
-How long have you been off the vent?

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-I was on a vent?
-[DeLuca] Coming through.

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-Excuse me.
-DeLuca?

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[woman] Help!

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Help! Help!

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-DeLuca, what is wrong with you?
-Get me out of here!

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-Do something!
-[grunting]

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We've been seeing this a lot
in patients lately,

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-but trust me, she's gone.
-Help!

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[bag unzips]

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Oh! How do people breathe in these things?

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Okay, I'm good.

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So, you ready to start?

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Start what?

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The incision.

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You said you could save her life.

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-Save who?
-[chuckles]

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Meredith.

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I...

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[whispering] I don't know what to do.

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[plane engines whooshes]

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[crashing]

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Allison?

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[sirens wailing]

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[wailing continue]

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[Allison] [echoing] Teddy.

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[breathes sharply] Allison!

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Allison!

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Allison, wait!

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Allison?

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-Any luck?
-[door closes]

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No.

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[sighs]

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If something doesn't change soon,
I'm gonna have to have her admitted.

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Owen, she's overworked, she's overtired,
she just lost DeLuca.

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I mean, she probably just needs
some more rest.

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She hasn't spoken, she hasn't eaten,

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she hasn't so much as acknowledged
her own daughter.

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Amelia, the only other time
I've seen that kind of look,

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it's in soldiers.

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And plenty of them never came back.

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[Owen] Teddy, Amelia brought fluids.

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You will feel so much better
once you are hydrated.

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[sighs]

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[Teddy] [echoing] Allison?

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Allison?

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Allison!

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Wait.

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Allison, don't leave!

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[Koracick] Don't throw
your life away, Teddy.

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Allison!

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[Koracick] Tonight, I'll be in my car.

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Lot B, 7:00.

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[Meredith] Hey.

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Hey.

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Not to tell you how to live your life,

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but shouldn't you be
getting married right now?

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Owen's not there.

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You're thinking of running.

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Amelia did the same thing
the night she married Owen.

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Poor bastard.

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It would have been better. For everyone.

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I think your problems go back
a lot further than tonight.

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I have to try, don't I?

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You breaking stuff?

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[sighs] It's a bed for Leo.

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I can't make sense of these instructions.

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I think they're in Danish or something.

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Two heads are better than one?

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Amelia, you don't have to stay.

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I know.

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Okay.

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[grunts] This and...

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Pick up the bottom part.

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Yeah.

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[distorted conversation]

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[plane engine whooshes]

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[man on radio] And I'm being told
we have some breaking news--

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the daily body count of COVID patients

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could exceed that of 9/11
in the upcoming mon--

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[radio beeps]

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♪ Fini la musique, la foule défile ♪

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I'm not a Vegas guy.

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I'm not a Vegas guy.

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[DeLuca] Hey.

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Feeling any different?

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We hurt Owen.

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No, you-- you hurt Owen.

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I'm just the guy driving the getaway car.

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He'll be hurt, but we--
we always come back to being friends.

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Speaking of, should you maybe
make a phone call?

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Mm.

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♪ Quand la gloire se fanait? ♪

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[dramatic music plays]

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♪ Les bravos se taisaient? ♪

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It can wait.

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♪ Ou, ou étais-tu ♪

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Tonight's about us.

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This should be fun. [chuckles]

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[radio beeping, volume increases]

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♪ Quand le silence s'approchait? ♪

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Morning.

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What time is it? Mm.

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We have all the time in the world.

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Have I ever told you
what excellent room service I make?

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If I could choose one meal
for the rest of my life,

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it would be this. Pancakes and champagne.

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[cork pops, both laugh]

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Oh, my God!

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I choose this and you.

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[glasses clink]

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[door closes]

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Owen's gone.

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What do you-- What do you mean he's gone?

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Apparently he took the kids
and got on a plane.

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Got on a plane to where?

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Here we go again,
eenie meenie miny snooze.

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-[fake snores]
-You think this is funny?

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-But my family is gone.
-What? Your family?

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Or Owen?

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I can't live without him.

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Oh, which makes me the gum stuck
to the bottom of your shoe?

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I didn't think
that he would actually leave.

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Yeah. He left. Owen Hunt is a man.

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He doesn't sit around
and wait while you play games

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and choose other people
and have babies with them.

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What did you expect?

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Owen, you aren't thinking.

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Come back. Please.

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Yeah. That should do it.

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You ruined my life.

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I ruined my life.

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You ruined my life.

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Teddy, Teddy, Teddy, please.

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-I love you.
-[Teddy] I don't want you to love me.

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I love Owen and I-I love my kids
and I love my family, and I-- I don't--

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I don't want you to love me
and I don't want this life!

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[Koracick] Wait! Wait.
We'll work this out.

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Don't ruin your life.

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Run away with me.

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I'll be in my car.

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7:00.

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Tom, this never should have happened.
Save yourself.

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[metallic scrape]

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Wait. I didn't mean to--

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[explosion, glass shatters]

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[high-pitched tone]

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You know, personally,
I never got what you saw in that guy.

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But I-I didn't want to hurt him.

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Well, maybe skip the grenade next time?

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You're always blowing things up.

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No.

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No. No.

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[Owen] [echoing] Amelia and I are done.

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There's nothing standing in our way.

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...already-- You can't just tell me
when to go and when to stay!

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I don't want you here anymore!

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[crying]

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Yeah, the snow wasn't for the soldiers.
It was for you.

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-I'm done, Owen.
-[door click echoes]

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We're done.

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[door closes]

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[DeLuca] Owen flew halfway across
the planet and you just kicked him out.

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Well, Meredith was right.
I need to go back further.

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Pretty sure this is not
what she meant by that.

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But if we are re-writing history,

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maybe you could, uh,
not kill me this time?

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I'm so sorry.

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But if I never meet you, I can't hurt you.

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Owen, wait!

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[bag thump echoes]

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Oh.

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[sighs]

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[laughs]

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[sighs]

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[sighs]

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Oh, I got to go to work.

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New boss is a real nutcracker.

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[laughs]

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Stop it.

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[sighs]

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Teddy, there's something
I need to tell you.

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You can tell me anything.

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I love living with you.

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I love working with you but...

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but it's not enough.

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Wait, what?

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I want to marry you.

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Right here.

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Right here, in bed?

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Mm, I'd be happy to go with living room.

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[both laugh]

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What?

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Teddy?

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Wait, what is it? [sighs]

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I just-- I don't know.

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I don't want there to be
any secrets between us.

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Okay.

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So, Allison.

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Um...

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She wasn't-- She wasn't just my friend.
She was...

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She was the love of my life.

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Wait, New York Allison?

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Yeah.

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Wow.

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-Owen, I-- I-- I'm--
-Wow.

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I'm so sorry.

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I'm so sorry that you lost her.

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[voice breaking] Yeah. Me too.

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Hey, I want to take all that pain and...

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[sighs] I can't erase it

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but I can spend every day trying.

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Please, marry me.

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[laughing] Okay.

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Alright, okay. You look great.

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Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take--

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[cellphone chimes]

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Text message, sorry.

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-Do you, Theodora Grace Altman, take--
-[cellphone chimes]

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-Could you--
-Yeah, of course.

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Amelia.

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"Yay wedding, yay joy. Xoxo."

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[laughs]

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-We good?
-Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?

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-Okay.
-Okay, sorry.

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[cellphone chimes]

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[scoffs]

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Beth. "Happy you're so happy." [chuckles]

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As in your ex-fiancée Beth?

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Yeah. I didn't-- I didn't know
that you still talked to Beth.

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Why are you saying it like that?
"Beth." What's...?

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Well, I-I just didn't think
that you still talked to her.

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Yeah. Mondays at 11:00,

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but we had to change it today

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'cause she had
her parent/teacher conference,

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but look. She's so happy for us.

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The wedding we all dream of...

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-[cellphone chimes]
-Stop it!

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[chuckling] Oh, my God, oh, my God.

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Cristina?

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Cristina's bought us tickets
to Switzerland

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as our wedding present.

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Wow. We can-- We can go stay with her

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and maybe teach a trauma class
at her hospital.

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Owen, put your phone away.

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-Yeah, anything for you.
-Okay.

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Okay, as I was saying...

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-[door opens]
-Hey, I'm home.

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[Owen] So, uh, Leo will do
Thanksgiving with me,

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and Christmas with you...?

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Wow.

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I didn't know we had bone china.

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Are you really sure?

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You, me, Teddy, our kids,
all of us, together?

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Really?

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Wow!

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[laughs] You're amazing, Amelia.

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Bye.

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Hey. So, come, sit, sit.

16:10.959 --> 16:12.166
Come on.

16:12.250 --> 16:14.834
So, uh...

16:15.792 --> 16:18.500
-You were-- You were talking to Amelia?
-Yeah, we talk every day.

16:18.583 --> 16:22.375
She is bringing Leo here
so we can have the holidays all together.

16:22.458 --> 16:24.458
You don't think that's something
that you should've asked?

16:25.375 --> 16:26.667
It's true love, Teddy.

16:26.750 --> 16:28.542
You really want to ask permission?

16:28.625 --> 16:31.166
-True-- You love her?
-How can you not love Amelia?

16:31.250 --> 16:32.542
It's Amelia.

16:32.625 --> 16:34.250
So she comes first?

16:34.333 --> 16:35.542
No, no, God, no.

16:35.625 --> 16:37.208
Cristina comes first.

16:37.291 --> 16:38.709
Wait.

16:38.792 --> 16:41.583
But you-- you married me.
You-- You chose me.

16:41.667 --> 16:43.041
Oh, this is good.

16:43.125 --> 16:44.291
Listen.

16:44.375 --> 16:45.834
It's not your fault that
you don't know how to love.

16:45.917 --> 16:46.750
What did you just say to me?

16:46.834 --> 16:47.917
-I said I love you.
-Oh.

16:48.000 --> 16:50.041
And pass the gravy. But I also love you.

16:50.125 --> 16:51.750
This-- This doesn't feel right.

16:51.834 --> 16:52.792
Because it's not.

16:52.875 --> 16:53.959
The only reason that I came here,

16:54.041 --> 16:56.291
the only reason
that we have a baby together

16:56.375 --> 16:59.166
-is because of Amelia.
-[sighs]

16:59.250 --> 17:00.125
You know what?

17:00.208 --> 17:01.875
We really should be thanking her.

17:01.959 --> 17:03.041
Do you want to call her back or should I?

17:03.125 --> 17:04.250
Get out of my house.

17:04.333 --> 17:06.125
You know, you say that a lot,
but you never really mean it.

17:06.208 --> 17:08.625
That's why I keep coming back.
It's sort of our thing.

17:08.709 --> 17:10.083
I don't want it to be our thing.

17:10.166 --> 17:12.709
Well, then the only alternative
is you realize

17:12.792 --> 17:14.041
one of these days...

17:14.125 --> 17:15.333
One of these days what?

17:15.417 --> 17:17.083
-[timer dings]
-Dessert.

17:17.375 --> 17:19.583
-Ah, yes.
-You'll burn yourself.

17:20.458 --> 17:21.458
I've got it, Amelia. [chuckles]

17:21.542 --> 17:23.166
Teddy. It's Teddy.

17:23.250 --> 17:24.250
What's wrong with Teddy?

17:25.041 --> 17:27.625
You keep looking past me,
like you always do.

17:27.709 --> 17:29.333
Even though I'm right here.

17:31.166 --> 17:32.250
Yeah, I'm done.

17:32.333 --> 17:35.125
I'm done. I am done waiting for you
and feeling like this every time.

17:35.208 --> 17:36.375
I'm done.

17:36.458 --> 17:39.041
-[snapping fingers] It's Teddy!
-I know, right?

17:39.834 --> 17:40.917
I love Teddy.

17:41.000 --> 17:44.792
But... she's no you, Amelia.

17:45.041 --> 17:46.417
-Here.
-[silverware clinks]

17:46.500 --> 17:48.041
Eat.

17:48.125 --> 17:49.583
It's your favorite.

17:56.208 --> 17:57.500
So you guys haven't talked since--

17:57.583 --> 17:59.709
Since she humiliated me at work
and destroyed our family?

17:59.792 --> 18:01.917
No. I was gonna say
since you brought her home.

18:02.000 --> 18:03.208
I just want to make sure that she's okay,

18:03.291 --> 18:04.458
and I'm gonna head back to the hotel.

18:04.542 --> 18:05.875
-Owen.
-Amelia, I don't want to talk to her

18:05.959 --> 18:08.250
because every time I do,
it just makes me angrier.

18:08.333 --> 18:10.417
Okay? And I'm exhausted by it.

18:11.125 --> 18:12.709
So I'm done.

18:12.792 --> 18:14.250
Can you pass me the side part, please?

18:14.333 --> 18:15.625
What about therapy?

18:15.709 --> 18:17.375
I go to therapy. With Teddy?

18:17.458 --> 18:18.959
I don't need to pay
some stranger to sit there

18:19.041 --> 18:20.041
and listen to Teddy lie to me.

18:20.125 --> 18:22.083
Would you cut her some slack?
She just lost DeLuca.

18:22.166 --> 18:24.208
We all lost DeLuca.

18:24.667 --> 18:27.750
I was standing right across from her
the day that he died.

18:27.834 --> 18:30.667
But we don't all have the luxury
of just shutting down completely.

18:32.792 --> 18:34.125
[sighs]

18:34.208 --> 18:35.458
I want her to be well.

18:35.542 --> 18:37.083
Obviously I do.

18:38.041 --> 18:41.792
[sighs] You know, Leo's been
asking to see his Mama all day

18:41.875 --> 18:43.750
and I had to lie to him
and say that she's working

18:43.834 --> 18:45.417
because I don't want him
to see her like this.

18:45.500 --> 18:48.500
He needs her, you know? Allison needs her.

18:48.583 --> 18:50.166
But honestly...

18:50.542 --> 18:52.041
Honestly, I don't.

18:52.125 --> 18:53.500
-Owen--
-All she's ever done is lie to me.

18:53.583 --> 18:54.709
That's all she's ever done.

18:54.792 --> 18:57.000
She didn't tell me
she was pregnant for months,

18:57.083 --> 19:00.875
she cheated on me for weeks
before our wedding night, and...

19:00.959 --> 19:02.667
[exhales sharply]
And you remember Allison?

19:02.750 --> 19:05.250
Teddy's best friend who died?
The one we named our daughter after?

19:05.333 --> 19:06.834
Well, it turns out that
she's not just her best friend.

19:06.917 --> 19:08.667
She's the love of Teddy's life.

19:08.917 --> 19:11.000
And she didn't mention it to me once

19:11.625 --> 19:13.166
in all the decades
that we've known each other.

19:13.250 --> 19:14.458
Not once.

19:14.542 --> 19:16.208
She just mentioned it
as some kind of excuse

19:16.291 --> 19:17.834
for all the horrible things
that she's done.

19:17.917 --> 19:21.250
And there's nothing I can do about it
and talking doesn't help.

19:21.333 --> 19:22.750
Okay?

19:23.208 --> 19:25.083
So can we please just build this bed?

19:26.333 --> 19:27.750
[sighs]

19:27.834 --> 19:29.208
[Baby Allison crying]

19:47.625 --> 19:49.125
I'm never gonna be enough for you.

19:49.208 --> 19:50.375
You sound ridiculous.

19:50.458 --> 19:52.959
[heart beating]

19:56.375 --> 19:59.417
[alarm blaring]

19:59.500 --> 20:02.500
[Teddy] More lap pads. So much bleeding.

20:02.583 --> 20:04.291
Suction.

20:04.375 --> 20:06.583
[beating continues]

20:09.917 --> 20:11.333
[Allison] [echoing] I'll make pancakes.

20:11.417 --> 20:13.166
[beating continues]

20:15.750 --> 20:17.500
Turn that monitor off!

20:17.583 --> 20:18.583
[beating continues]

20:18.667 --> 20:19.792
[DeLuca] Hey.

20:19.875 --> 20:21.458
[beating stops]

20:21.542 --> 20:23.041
It's not gonna make any difference.

20:30.375 --> 20:31.834
Did you always love her?

20:32.333 --> 20:33.792
Allison?

20:33.875 --> 20:35.542
Can we talk about this somewhere else?

20:35.625 --> 20:38.875
Teddy, this OR is very familiar
with your private life.

20:40.542 --> 20:42.166
Was it love at first sight?

20:45.041 --> 20:47.333
I was always drawn to her.

20:48.166 --> 20:51.625
She was the most alive person
I've ever known.

20:53.333 --> 20:55.041
She was good.

20:56.458 --> 20:57.917
And she was kind.

21:06.125 --> 21:07.500
[Allison] 9-1-1!

21:09.250 --> 21:11.333
He was stuck in a bush by the bike path.

21:11.417 --> 21:12.875
I think he broke his leg.

21:13.000 --> 21:15.166
Allison, what?
No, you're gonna get psittacosis.

21:15.250 --> 21:16.667
First off, that sounds fake.

21:16.750 --> 21:18.542
And second, don't you have
a medical kit in your bag?

21:19.625 --> 21:20.875
Okay, okay.

21:21.792 --> 21:25.000
[children laughing]

21:25.083 --> 21:28.041
Both my parents died that same year.

21:29.000 --> 21:30.250
She carried me through that.

21:30.333 --> 21:31.250
Yeah, that's my mom.

21:31.333 --> 21:32.208
What?

21:32.291 --> 21:33.333
[glass shatters]

21:41.375 --> 21:43.166
I will. I will talk to her again.

21:44.041 --> 21:45.500
Thank you.

21:45.583 --> 21:47.000
[receiver clicks]

21:50.500 --> 21:53.291
That was the maintenance manager
at your mom's building again.

21:54.458 --> 21:57.625
Teddy, you're gonna have to go
through your mom's stuff

21:58.041 --> 22:00.375
or they're gonna auction it off

22:00.458 --> 22:02.291
or-- or throw it away.

22:04.333 --> 22:07.792
I would do it for you,
but I-I don't know what to keep.

22:11.875 --> 22:13.500
We played Scrabble.

22:14.375 --> 22:17.750
-You mean when you were a kid?
-Yes, but also when my dad was dying.

22:17.834 --> 22:19.875
We played for almost...

22:20.792 --> 22:22.125
Almost a year.

22:22.458 --> 22:27.417
He was sick, so we would
put the board out on the bed, and...

22:28.291 --> 22:30.709
And me and my dad and my mom.

22:31.500 --> 22:33.375
We played every weekend.

22:33.458 --> 22:35.667
[chuckles] My dad always won.

22:36.625 --> 22:38.291
Until he started to lose.

22:38.500 --> 22:40.125
When he started to lose...

22:41.500 --> 22:43.500
We had time.

22:43.959 --> 22:45.417
We had time to...

22:45.500 --> 22:47.792
-To say goodbye?
-But we didn't say goodbye.

22:47.875 --> 22:50.458
We cheated so that he could win
until he couldn't play anymore.

22:50.542 --> 22:51.625
And then my mom and I, we just--

22:51.709 --> 22:53.375
uh, we put the board away.

22:54.834 --> 22:57.542
But even with-- with all that time...

22:59.208 --> 23:01.917
it just-- it-- it was unimaginable

23:02.000 --> 23:04.083
that he could leave us.

23:04.166 --> 23:07.166
He would never-- He would--
He would never leave us.

23:11.250 --> 23:12.917
I always wanted a pet.

23:13.000 --> 23:16.208
-You mean after he-- he died?
-No, when I was young.

23:16.291 --> 23:18.083
I wanted a pet, and my dad said no.

23:18.166 --> 23:20.542
He said, "When you get a pet,
best-case scenario

23:20.625 --> 23:23.458
is that you love that pet
with all your heart

23:23.542 --> 23:26.166
and then it leaves you
'cause, you know, life span.

23:27.375 --> 23:30.166
So for sure a pet means heartbreak."

23:33.875 --> 23:37.208
He just-- I-- I guess
he just wanted to protect me.

23:37.291 --> 23:39.166
But he wouldn't even let me get a gerbil

23:39.250 --> 23:41.083
because he didn't want me to suffer

23:41.166 --> 23:44.375
and then he just up and dies at age 58.

23:44.458 --> 23:46.417
But at least we got to play Scrabble.

23:46.500 --> 23:48.208
My mom just...

23:48.375 --> 23:52.125
You can't pack up her stuff
because that would mean she died.

23:52.917 --> 23:55.583
And she can't have died
because she was too young.

23:55.667 --> 23:58.458
And she wasn't even sick.

23:58.542 --> 24:02.417
And there wasn't even time
for another game.

24:03.250 --> 24:06.917
Okay, I get it.

24:08.041 --> 24:10.417
But I'm gonna need the keys
to your mom's place.

24:10.500 --> 24:11.709
-Allison--
-Teddy,

24:11.792 --> 24:13.792
I am not letting them throw away
that Scrabble board.

24:13.875 --> 24:14.709
[sighs]

24:14.792 --> 24:16.875
And I'm not letting them
throw away your photo albums.

24:16.959 --> 24:18.583
And I bet your mom wore perfume

24:18.667 --> 24:20.375
and I'm gonna go over there
and I'm gonna find it

24:20.458 --> 24:21.792
and I'm gonna get one of her scarves

24:21.875 --> 24:24.041
because you are in shock right now,

24:24.125 --> 24:26.250
but one day you're gonna want
some of the stuff

24:26.333 --> 24:28.875
that reminds you how loved you were.

24:30.000 --> 24:31.208
You're gonna want some of the stuff

24:31.291 --> 24:33.333
that came from the people
who loved you too much

24:33.417 --> 24:34.834
to let you get a gerbil.

24:35.625 --> 24:37.250
The people who made you you.

24:38.208 --> 24:40.375
Wonderful, wonderful you.

24:51.208 --> 24:52.542
Whoa.

24:52.625 --> 24:53.709
I'm sorry. I'm...

24:56.458 --> 24:58.792
I'm sorry, but I'm not sorry.

25:22.291 --> 25:24.375
I didn't mean to hurt anyone.

25:26.709 --> 25:29.583
Just fell in love with Allison.

25:30.250 --> 25:31.709
So what did you do?

25:33.333 --> 25:35.166
I killed her.

25:35.250 --> 25:36.959
[Allison] [echoing] I'll make pancakes.

25:38.625 --> 25:40.709
I'll make pancakes.

25:43.125 --> 25:45.125
Oh.

25:45.208 --> 25:47.000
I have to go to work.

25:59.542 --> 26:00.709
I should have said yes.

26:00.792 --> 26:02.250
Teddy, you couldn't have known.

26:02.333 --> 26:04.583
I wanted to say yes.

26:05.000 --> 26:09.083
I wanted more than anything in the world

26:09.166 --> 26:11.709
but to stay in that room with her forever.

26:11.792 --> 26:14.500
If I had just said yes...

26:15.625 --> 26:17.333
She'd still be here.

26:18.709 --> 26:20.125
Maybe you'd still be here.

26:20.208 --> 26:21.709
Hey.

26:21.792 --> 26:23.166
I forgive you.

26:23.959 --> 26:25.667
[sighs]

26:26.667 --> 26:29.458
But you are. You are still here.

26:29.792 --> 26:30.917
But I'm not.

26:31.000 --> 26:32.291
But you are.

26:32.375 --> 26:33.458
Which means...

26:33.834 --> 26:35.417
[exhales sharply]

26:36.000 --> 26:37.875
What if it's not too late?

26:38.834 --> 26:40.792
What if it can change?

26:47.208 --> 26:48.458
It's not too late.

26:53.333 --> 26:55.375
[Allison] [echoing] Teddy, are you okay?

26:56.792 --> 26:58.375
You're having a nightmare.

27:11.083 --> 27:12.875
I'll make pancakes.

27:14.834 --> 27:16.333
Okay.

27:23.000 --> 27:25.333
[breathes deeply]

27:29.834 --> 27:32.000
[sighs] She barely naps
for more than 30 minutes.

27:32.083 --> 27:34.291
I swear she doesn't know me
since she moved in with my mom.

27:35.125 --> 27:36.041
Owen.

27:37.500 --> 27:38.750
You need to forgive Teddy.

27:38.875 --> 27:40.375
So you think that if I tell her
that she's forgiven

27:40.458 --> 27:42.542
it'll bring her out of this?
I mean, I can try but--

27:42.625 --> 27:44.792
No. No. I am not saying you need
go in there and pretend.

27:44.875 --> 27:46.041
I'm saying...

27:47.291 --> 27:50.083
Owen, I-I know that Teddy hurt you badly,

27:50.166 --> 27:52.458
and nothing about what she did
with Tom is okay.

27:52.542 --> 27:53.834
But...

27:54.375 --> 27:55.709
Owen, she's Teddy.

27:56.375 --> 27:58.750
You have loved her
in some form for decades.

27:58.959 --> 28:00.500
And just the fact that
she was in love with Allison--

28:00.583 --> 28:01.834
It's not the fact
that she was in love with her.

28:01.917 --> 28:03.000
It's the fact that she lied.

28:03.542 --> 28:05.792
Okay? And she lied relentlessly.
For decades.

28:05.875 --> 28:07.166
She said that she's not over her.

28:07.250 --> 28:08.709
So not only did she cheat on me
with Tom Koracick,

28:08.792 --> 28:11.041
she's been in love with someone
else our entire relationship.

28:11.125 --> 28:13.375
It's despicable and she doesn't
deserve my forgiveness.

28:13.458 --> 28:15.250
Despicable? What is wrong with you?

28:15.333 --> 28:16.583
What is wrong with you?

28:16.667 --> 28:17.709
You're taking her side.

28:17.792 --> 28:19.959
You're pissed because she has a Cristina,
and you don't like it.

28:20.083 --> 28:21.041
Why can't Teddy be

28:21.125 --> 28:22.458
allowed to love more
than one person when you have?

28:22.583 --> 28:24.583
I never lied about having
past relationships, okay?

28:24.667 --> 28:26.458
-She did.
-Ask yourself why, Owen!

28:26.542 --> 28:29.208
She probably had PTSD
from losing the love of her life

28:29.291 --> 28:31.041
in a horrific tragedy.

28:31.125 --> 28:32.041
You of all people should understand that.

28:32.125 --> 28:34.417
-Then why didn't she just tell me that?
-Do you walk around telling everyone

28:34.500 --> 28:35.792
about how you strangled Cristina?

28:37.166 --> 28:38.417
[scoffs]

28:39.250 --> 28:40.250
Wow.

28:42.750 --> 28:44.291
-I think you should leave.
-[thuds]

28:44.375 --> 28:48.625
Owen, her trauma response
is different than yours.

28:48.709 --> 28:50.959
You don't get to just casually
throw in my face

28:51.041 --> 28:52.417
the worst thing that I ever did
in my life, okay?

28:52.500 --> 28:53.834
I did not do it casually.

28:54.500 --> 28:57.583
No part of you ever, ever
thought that you were capable

28:57.667 --> 29:00.000
of choking someone
that you loved but you did it.

29:01.208 --> 29:03.542
I was asleep, okay? I-I had PTSD--

29:03.625 --> 29:06.542
So does she, Owen. So does she!

29:07.208 --> 29:10.041
Sometimes traumatized people lie.

29:10.125 --> 29:11.291
They lie to you.

29:11.375 --> 29:12.542
They lie to themselves.

29:12.625 --> 29:14.417
That does not mean
that everything is a lie.

29:14.792 --> 29:17.041
When you were hurting,
you hurt other people.

29:17.125 --> 29:19.500
When I was hurting, I hurt other people.

29:19.583 --> 29:22.709
But we both got help. Teddy needs help.

29:24.166 --> 29:25.959
[Baby Allison crying]

29:28.000 --> 29:29.291
I'll go check on her.

29:29.709 --> 29:31.291
[crying continues]

29:47.542 --> 29:49.166
[crying continues in distance]

29:52.166 --> 29:54.583
[children laughing]

30:09.875 --> 30:11.834
♪ Eg veit pú kemur í kvold til mín ♪

30:11.917 --> 30:15.041
Ugh, why do we even have jobs?

30:15.125 --> 30:16.583
Doing nothing is so much better.

30:16.667 --> 30:18.000
[laughs] It is.

30:18.083 --> 30:23.500
♪ Pótt kveojan vaeri stutt í gaer ♪

30:23.583 --> 30:25.041
[sighs]

30:25.125 --> 30:27.000
I want to tell Claire the truth.

30:28.208 --> 30:29.250
She'll hate me.

30:29.333 --> 30:31.041
And I'll hate that.

30:31.125 --> 30:34.041
But she deserves the truth.

30:34.125 --> 30:35.583
I know. I know she does.

30:35.667 --> 30:37.417
I just... I don't want to hurt her.

30:38.333 --> 30:41.208
Life comes with pain though, Teddy.

30:42.083 --> 30:43.542
Life comes with pain.

30:43.625 --> 30:45.166
Not today.

30:45.250 --> 30:46.875
Today doesn't come with pain.

30:48.083 --> 30:50.083
Not for us. Not this time.

30:50.917 --> 30:52.625
♪ Sko áour en pú veist, pú veist ♪

30:52.709 --> 30:54.083
Your dad...

30:54.667 --> 30:55.959
he should've let you have the gerbil.

30:56.041 --> 30:57.667
[both laugh]

30:57.750 --> 31:00.000
[plane engine whooshes]

31:02.750 --> 31:05.375
[watch ticking]

31:07.250 --> 31:08.709
We've got somewhere to be?

31:08.792 --> 31:11.333
No, no, no, no.

31:11.417 --> 31:14.333
I just-- I never want this moment to end.

31:16.166 --> 31:17.208
[loud crash in distance]

31:17.291 --> 31:20.709
-[people screaming]
-[phones ringing]

31:23.875 --> 31:25.000
Something's going on.

31:25.083 --> 31:27.959
Uh, we-we're okay.

31:28.041 --> 31:28.917
No, but something's wrong.

31:29.000 --> 31:30.417
I know, but-- but we're okay.

31:30.500 --> 31:31.500
You're with me.

31:31.583 --> 31:33.166
You know what?

31:33.250 --> 31:34.959
You're right. Let's tell Claire.

31:35.041 --> 31:37.709
She deserves to know the truth.
She'll hate me because losing you

31:37.792 --> 31:39.000
is the worst thing in the world.

31:39.083 --> 31:41.083
But she won't hate you.
I promise she won't hate you.

31:41.667 --> 31:44.917
Because, Allison, it's impossible
to do anything but love you.

31:45.083 --> 31:47.333
[woman screams]

31:47.500 --> 31:49.333
What do you think?

31:49.417 --> 31:50.792
[sirens wailing]

31:50.875 --> 31:52.667
I smell smoke.

31:52.750 --> 31:54.375
Do you smell smoke?

31:54.625 --> 31:57.625
No, no, no, no, you're with me.
You're safe.

31:57.709 --> 31:59.125
[coughing]

31:59.208 --> 32:00.208
I can't breathe.

32:00.291 --> 32:02.166
[people screaming]

32:04.083 --> 32:05.959
Allison, don't leave me.

32:06.041 --> 32:07.792
No, please don't leave me.

32:07.875 --> 32:09.333
Allison.

32:09.417 --> 32:11.625
Don't leave me, Allison.

32:11.959 --> 32:14.375
-Come on!
-[monitor alarm]

32:14.458 --> 32:15.667
Come on, Allison.

32:15.750 --> 32:17.875
-[wailing continue]
-Please don't leave me, Allison!

32:17.959 --> 32:19.208
-[paddles whine]
-Clear!

32:19.291 --> 32:21.166
[thump]

32:21.250 --> 32:22.542
-[paddles whine]
-Charge to 200. Clear!

32:22.625 --> 32:24.375
[thump]

32:24.458 --> 32:25.959
-[paddles whine]
-Three hundred! Clear!

32:26.041 --> 32:27.041
[thump]

32:29.875 --> 32:31.625
Teddy, I'm sorry.

32:31.709 --> 32:33.208
This is over.

32:37.333 --> 32:38.333
Time of death,

32:39.333 --> 32:41.375
September 11, 2001,

32:41.667 --> 32:43.792
9:59 a.m.

32:59.875 --> 33:01.500
[Teddy] It's all my fault.

33:01.583 --> 33:03.792
It's all my fault.

33:05.166 --> 33:06.917
It's all my fault.

34:03.000 --> 34:04.667
[Amelia] I just got her back down.

34:05.291 --> 34:09.375
I think she knows there's something
going on with her mom, so she's just off.

34:09.458 --> 34:11.709
-Yeah.
-I know you want me to leave.

34:11.792 --> 34:16.000
But I am here because I love you
and I want to help you.

34:17.333 --> 34:18.125
You know, it almost would've been easier

34:18.208 --> 34:21.041
if she'd just run away with Koracick.
You know?

34:24.041 --> 34:25.166
You ever think about doing that?

34:25.250 --> 34:28.542
Just getting in the car and driving away?

34:29.375 --> 34:32.583
A feeling of being free
from all responsibilities,

34:32.667 --> 34:34.208
even just for a second...

34:34.291 --> 34:37.500
no kids, no [chuckles]
messy relationships,

34:37.583 --> 34:39.834
no dying patients...

34:39.917 --> 34:40.917
If you'd have asked me that
six months ago,

34:41.000 --> 34:42.917
I would have said no, but now...

34:43.000 --> 34:44.458
of course I do.

34:46.166 --> 34:48.417
[sighs] I don't know how to describe it.
It's like...

34:49.375 --> 34:51.333
[sighs] It's like there's this...

34:51.667 --> 34:53.041
blanket on top of me.

34:53.125 --> 34:57.333
Like a wet, heavy blanket
of just...fatigue.

34:57.417 --> 34:58.333
Defense.

34:58.417 --> 34:59.875
What?

34:59.959 --> 35:01.625
When I get that blanket feeling?

35:01.709 --> 35:04.417
It's because I'm defending

35:04.500 --> 35:08.583
against having to feel anger, rage, hurt.

35:09.750 --> 35:11.208
She hurt you.

35:12.291 --> 35:13.625
You're hurt.

35:15.667 --> 35:18.250
Well, it's easier to just feel numb.

35:19.750 --> 35:21.458
You don't have to go back to her.

35:21.583 --> 35:26.542
But you cannot afford to spend
every day hating her.

35:26.625 --> 35:28.166
It's too hard.

35:28.250 --> 35:30.333
That blanket will never lift.

35:33.417 --> 35:35.500
I don't know. W-What do I do?

35:37.583 --> 35:39.959
In NA, we pray for the people we resent.

35:41.166 --> 35:42.500
-It's the worst.
-[chuckles]

35:42.583 --> 35:44.333
I always hate it.

35:45.959 --> 35:49.750
We pray for them to get well.

35:49.834 --> 35:52.166
Uh, for them to find happiness,

35:52.250 --> 35:55.375
get all of the things
that we would want for ourselves.

35:55.667 --> 35:59.125
And we do it every day, for weeks.

35:59.375 --> 36:03.250
And I don't know why it works but it does.

36:03.333 --> 36:06.208
The resentment lifts
and forgiveness sets in.

36:06.291 --> 36:09.291
Then you coparent. And maybe eventually...

36:10.291 --> 36:11.875
something can be rebuilt.

36:13.875 --> 36:15.750
I don't think I can do that.

36:15.834 --> 36:17.792
-[breathes sharply]
-You can do it.

36:18.500 --> 36:20.041
You've done it before.

36:21.291 --> 36:23.291
You did it with me.

36:27.250 --> 36:28.709
[sighs]

36:30.291 --> 36:31.959
[Teddy] [echoing] It's all my fault.

36:32.083 --> 36:33.875
All of this is your fault?

36:33.959 --> 36:36.375
Yes! My parents, Allison, Henry, DeLuca...

36:36.458 --> 36:38.542
Don't say me. I'm still here.

36:38.625 --> 36:40.583
I couldn't save them.
I should have saved them!

36:40.667 --> 36:43.041
No. Even I know that
they couldn't be saved.

36:43.750 --> 36:46.000
[echoing] I don't know
what happened with your parents,

36:46.083 --> 36:48.667
but Allison and DeLuca
were tragic casualties

36:48.750 --> 36:51.125
of circumstances
you had no power to control.

36:51.208 --> 36:53.583
And Henry... Henry was already dying

36:53.667 --> 36:55.291
-when you married him.
-I love Owen.

36:55.375 --> 36:58.709
You run from pain.
Your parents died and you ran to Allison.

36:59.208 --> 37:02.917
Allison died, and you joined
the Army and ran to Owen.

37:03.000 --> 37:06.375
Owen chose Cristina, you dove into Henry.

37:07.417 --> 37:08.667
This isn't fair.

37:08.750 --> 37:11.333
And then Owen is with Amelia,
and you used Koracick.

37:11.417 --> 37:12.875
Please stop. Stop it.

37:12.959 --> 37:14.625
-[Meredith] You run from pain, Teddy.
-Stop it.

37:14.709 --> 37:17.166
We all do it. Something terrible happens,

37:17.667 --> 37:19.834
we blame ourselves
and we don't want to feel it

37:19.917 --> 37:20.875
so we run.

37:21.834 --> 37:23.291
-[crying]
-[echoing] We run from joy too

37:23.375 --> 37:25.208
because we think
we don't deserve happiness.

37:25.458 --> 37:26.834
But it's a package deal.

37:26.917 --> 37:28.709
There is no joy without pain.

37:31.667 --> 37:33.959
Come on, Teddy. Let's leave this place.

37:35.333 --> 37:36.333
Please don't die.

37:36.875 --> 37:38.542
I'll do my best.

37:46.750 --> 37:48.583
[gasps]

37:50.792 --> 37:52.083
[exhales sharply]

37:52.166 --> 37:54.291
[Meredith] There's a problem
with trying to understand

37:54.375 --> 37:56.333
every mistake you've made...

37:56.625 --> 37:57.875
you can't.

37:57.959 --> 37:59.750
[Sigur Rós's "Starálfur" plays]

37:59.834 --> 38:01.250
[sighs]

38:01.333 --> 38:06.667
And trying to robs you
of your life, your plans, your future.

38:06.750 --> 38:09.959
♪ Blá nótt yfir himininn ♪

38:10.041 --> 38:12.166
Plus, you can't really learn
from your mistakes

38:12.250 --> 38:13.667
if you stop moving forward.

38:13.750 --> 38:18.375
♪ Blá nótt yfir mér ♪

38:18.458 --> 38:20.250
You sure you don't want me to stay?

38:20.417 --> 38:22.625
-[sighs]
-Probably a stupid question.

38:22.709 --> 38:24.375
Just call me if you need me.

38:24.458 --> 38:26.709
Yeah. Hey, thank you.

38:26.792 --> 38:28.667
For everything. I mean it.

38:28.750 --> 38:30.083
I know you do.

38:30.542 --> 38:32.709
Oh, and especially thank you
for helping with that bed.

38:32.792 --> 38:34.333
I'm gonna share credit with Leo.

38:34.417 --> 38:36.083
Alright, just don't break it
if you get mad.

38:36.166 --> 38:38.542
I'm not gonna-- Okay, yeah.

38:38.625 --> 38:40.000
[chuckles] Bye.

38:40.083 --> 38:41.625
[Baby Allison crying]

38:41.709 --> 38:44.458
♪ Starir á mig ♪

38:44.542 --> 38:46.375
It's scary. It's uncertain.

38:46.458 --> 38:47.834
♪ Lítill álfur ♪

38:47.917 --> 38:50.083
But you'll find something
pretty special there...

38:50.166 --> 38:52.750
Shh. Shh.

38:53.000 --> 38:54.417
♪ Breytir mér í ♪

38:54.500 --> 38:55.709
I'm here.

38:57.333 --> 38:59.208
I'm here.

38:59.291 --> 39:05.291
♪ En hreyfist ekki ♪

39:06.291 --> 39:11.333
♪ Ur stao-- sjálfur ♪

39:11.417 --> 39:13.125
I'm here.

39:14.375 --> 39:15.291
...hope.

39:18.208 --> 39:20.125
♪ Starálfur ♪

39:25.750 --> 39:27.792
[closing theme music playing]