WEBVTT

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[Seagulls crying]

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[Rhythmic clapping, humming]

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[Meredith]
Until pretty recently,

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doctors would slap a newborn
on the back

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immediately after birth.

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♪ Trouble, trouble ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Been tryin'
to change my ways ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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It's not that they wanted
to make the baby cry.

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They needed the baby to cry.

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♪ Trouble, trouble ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Oh, Lord,
don't let me stray ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Don't come my way ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Oh, no, not today ♪

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Thank you.

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Trouble, trouble ♪

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Lexie!

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[Laughs]

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♪ Oh, please,
don't tempt my fate ♪

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♪ Trouble, don't you come
my way, oh, oh, oh, oh ♪

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It meant the baby could breathe
on her own.

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♪ Oooh, oooh ♪

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Thankfully,
we don't do that anymore.

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♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

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♪ Whoa, oh ♪

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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh,
ooh, ooh ♪

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♪ Trouble, trouble ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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But we still hold our own
breath until we hear that cry.

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♪ Have a little mercy on me ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Don't come my way ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Oh, no, not today ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

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♪ Whoa, oh ♪

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♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪

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♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

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And it doesn't matter if you're
the baby's doctor or mother...

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♪ Whoa, oh, oh, oh ♪

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♪ Whoa, oh ♪

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♪ Don't come my way ♪

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...it's the most beautiful
sound in the world.

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♪ Whoa, oh ♪

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♪ Don't come my way ♪

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♪ Oh, no, not today ♪

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The first time, anyway.

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♪ Don't come my way ♪

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♪ Trouble,
don't you come my way ♪

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♪ Trouble, trouble,
don't you come my way ♪♪

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[Lianne La Havas' "Paper Thin"
plays softly]

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[Door closes]

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♪ Paper thin ♪

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♪ God only knows
the pain you're in ♪

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[Sighs]

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Boston doesn't need you
as much as I do.

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You know I'd stay
if I could.

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♪ Love yourself ♪

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Morning playlist.

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♪ Or else you can't love
no one else ♪

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It's better than coffee.

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♪ I know your pain is real ♪

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-♪ But you won't let it heal ♪
-[Cellphone vibrating]

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♪ Paper thin ♪

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♪ If you're trying to lose,
you'll never win ♪

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♪ It's your life ♪

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Yeah.

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♪ But you're not the only one suffering ♪

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♪♪

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♪ That's enough, I know -- ♪

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-[Intern Sara] Marcella Diaz, 62...
-[Breathing heavily]

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...recently admitted to ICU
after sats dropped below 87%.

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She was in a lot of discomfort
last night.

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Ah, this one worries
too much.

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He needs more patients.

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-Or a hobby.
-[Chuckles]

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Well, when are you gonna start
my singing lessons?

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Marcella taught music
in high school for 35 years.

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[Maggie] Recent chest films?

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Opacities
in both lungs.

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[Gasps]
Veronica --

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Of course.

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And -- And --

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Yes, I will call
my mother, too.

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[Maggie] Veronica's her daughter.

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She's positive, too,
but her symptoms are mild.

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[Tablet beeping]

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Mama!

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How are you feeling?

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Okay.

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[Coughing]

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It's --
It's just a cough, Mom.

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Don't worry.

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You focus on you,
alright?

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And do everything that
Dr. Pierce says, alright?

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Okay.

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Okay, I love you.

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[Coughing]

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[Sighs]

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[Coughing continues]

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And when did you first start
to feel the pain?

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Uh, a few nights ago.

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[Chuckling] I was watching
these cat videos online when --

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For God's sake,
what happened?

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-The boys are fine.
-[Door closes]

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A little worried.

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I told them you'd call.
They called me.

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They thought
I might be interested to know

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that their aunt left
in an ambulance.

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She has a history of acid reflux
and lives with MS.

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Right, yes.
She told me.

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Irene, are you on any
medications other than steroids?

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And those damn teas.

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She has an infantile resistance
to Western medicine.

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She's had a catastrophic
family experience

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with Western medicine.

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Okay, it -- it -- it looks to me
like it's kidney stones,

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but I'd like to get a CT
just to --

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Then what are you waiting for?
Let's go.

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I'm waiting for you to let me
finish a single sentence,

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but I'll give up
on that now.

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Life of the party, isn't he?
[Sighs]

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[Sighs]

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I appreciate everyone
pulling extra shifts.

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Bailey does, too.

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Uh, she'll be back
in a few days.

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Thank you, Dr. Ndugu,
for pitching in where needed.

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Boston's hit another surge,
so we need to let him get back.

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-How's Meredith?
-Her vital signs are stable.

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Her morning labs
were good.

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Oxygen requirements
are decreasing.

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Enough to take her off
the vent?

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Let's see if the trend
continues.

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[Richard] Well, let's hope it
does, and not just for her sake.

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As of 5:00 this morning,

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we are down to our last four
available ventilators.

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So, until relief arrives, I need
us all to think creatively.

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Ventilators
are our last resort.

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Put them on BiPAP, the
hyperbaric chamber, uh, proning.

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Let's exhaust all options first.

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So, if you extubate Meredith

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and she starts to trend
downward again,

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we may not have another one
available.

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So let's not make the call
to pull her off

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until we are 100% certain.

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♪ It's just a matter of time ♪
It's so beautiful.

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I love it here.

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Me, too.

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♪ We'll find a way ♪

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Are you gonna stay?

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I don't know.

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I don't know the rules.

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I don't think
there are rules,

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which is, um...

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well, it takes some
getting used to.

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I was big on rules.

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I actually, like...

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-I think I loved rules.
-[Chuckles]

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[Man] You totally did.

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♪ I'm gonna sing
till the sun comes out ♪

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♪ I'm gonna sing
till the sun comes out ♪

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Mark!

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♪ There's no rain
that's gonna bring me down ♪

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You're early, killer.

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♪ I'm gonna sing
till the sun comes out ♪

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What?

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Too early.

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♪ Come what may come my way ♪

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Your oldest
is Sofia's age?

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I promise you,
it's too early.

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I don't know
how to get back.

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I keep seeing Derek,
and he won't help me get back

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or come close enough
to touch.

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It's not up to him.
It's up to you.

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What do you mean?

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The sand isn't real,
Meredith.

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I wish everybody would stop
saying that to me.

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♪ The sun is gonna shine
after the rain ♪

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-♪ I'm gonna sing till the sun comes out ♪
-♪ Rain, rain, go away ♪

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-♪ I'm gonna sing till the sun comes out ♪
-♪ Come again another day ♪

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So, you two
are together?

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-♪ I'm gonna sing till the sun comes out ♪
-♪ Rain, rain, go away ♪

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On your beach?
Looks like we are.

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[Chuckles]

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♪ Oh, I'm gonna sing ♪

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♪ Come what may come my way ♪

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♪ Oh, I'm gonna sing ♪

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♪ The sun is gonna shine
after the rain ♪

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Ah!

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-♪ Come what may come my way ♪
-[Laughter]

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♪ The sun is gonna shine
after the rain ♪

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[Laughs] Stop it!

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♪ Come what may come my way ♪

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-Get away! Run away! Quick, quick!
-Whoo!

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Yes!

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-[Laughs]
-Yes!

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I like it here.

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♪ The sun is gonna shine
after the rain ♪

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[Waves crashing]

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[Sighs]

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♪ Come what may come my way ♪

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Alive and well.
Sorry to disappoint.

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[Sighs]

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-You heard about the vents?
-I did.

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So you know if we pull
Grey's tube

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too soon,
we don't have --

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I heard about
the vents, Tom.

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[Woman on P.A.]
...to Nuclear Medicine.

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Dr. Sellers
to Nuclear Medicine.

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[Siren wailing,
horns honking in distance]

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[Door opens]

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-[Gasps] Hi!
-Hey.

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-Leo threw up on the way over here.
-Oh, no!

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Do you have a shirt
that I can borrow?

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-Yeah, come on in.
-Thank you.

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-Okay.
-Okay. [Sighs]

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Hey, Leo,
come this way with me.

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Here, let me take off
this jacket.

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Let me just sit down
for a sec.

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-Yeah, he gets carsick.
-Okay.

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He once puked on my op notes
for a glioblastoma.

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You know, Ellis really
wants to show you

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what she's working on
in the playroom.

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Do you want to go see her?
She's right there. Look.

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Go say hi.
Okay, bye-bye.

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If you had told me
two years ago

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that you and I
would be excited

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to spend the afternoon together
with six small children...

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I know that Owen asked you
to babysit me.

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You don't have to
put on a show.

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Both things can be true.

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I need company.

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We can have tea and discuss
life pre-pandemic,

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and we don't have to be covered
in puke alone for an afternoon.

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It's great.

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[Children laughing]

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I just told Liam and Austin
not to worry.

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Please tell me
I wasn't lying.

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You know it's probably
minor, right?

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It's not that.

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I mean, it is that,
but...

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Irene insisted on moving down
here when the pandemic started,

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and we drive
each other mad.

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We do.

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But I'd be lost
without her.

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You're trying
to make me cry.

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Don't go getting a big head
in there, now.

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Hm.

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[Beeping]

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[Jo] Kidney stone,
like I thought.

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In the right ureter.

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It's big, so we should get
urology to weigh in.

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Is Catherine Fox
here today?

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For a kidney stone?

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My boys already lost
their mother.

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Irene's her sister and the only
family they have left.

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So, yes,
I want the best.

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[Siren wailing in distance]

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[Woman on P.A.] Nurse Hydren to the OR.
Nurse Hydren to the OR.

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Well, there he is.

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This is happening?

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It is definitely happening.

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I hope this wasn't a bad time.

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I abandoned a play date,
and I need a calendar

09:28.083 --> 09:29.583
to remember the last time
I operated.

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-[Chuckles]
-So, definitely not a bad time.

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How severe is it?

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See for yourself.

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Crosswalks,
am I right?

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Okay, folks,
let's get the OR ready

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with the ex-fix set
and the C-arm.

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-Let's fix this bad boy.
-Mm.

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And, Dr. Webber?

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Thank you so much.

09:47.792 --> 09:51.083
♪♪

09:51.166 --> 09:52.709
Sorry to keep paging you,
Dr. Pierce,

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but her breathing is becoming
more labored by the hour.

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Let's consider BiPAP if she
continues to decompensate.

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But it may be time
to consider next steps.

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There's no directive.

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Marcella says
that her daughter

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will be making all decisions
for her.

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Then...

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it's time to call her.

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[Sighs]

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[Line ringing]

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[Man] Hi. Who's calling?

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Jackson?

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[Jackson]
Maggie, over here.

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Rig brought her in
about half an hour ago.

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Hey, Dr. Pierce.

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[Coughing]

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♪♪

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Dr. Fox, thank you
for coming in.

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I know how busy you must be,
so I appreciate you being here.

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[Irene] I told you not to give
me special treatment.

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Did you pull strings?

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He pulled
the biggest one.

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-I sign his checks.
-[Chuckling]

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Dr. Wilson?

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Irene Davis, 35, nephrolithiasis
with a history of MS.

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-These are her scans and a CT.
-Mm. Mm-hmm.

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They say it's kidney stones.

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Which is apparently my fault.

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I did not say that.

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She gets some very strong teas
from her acupuncturist

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to help manage
her MS pain.

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You got to drink a lot of water
to flush those out.

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Which she knows.
Which she usually does.

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So, this stone is apparently
lodged in your ureter.

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That's the tube between
your kidney and your bladder.

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I'm going to have to perform
a lithotripsy --

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that's a procedure
with a tiny, tiny laser

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that breaks it down
into smaller pieces.

11:21.500 --> 11:23.000
Broken into pieces?

11:23.083 --> 11:24.583
That's what killed
my sister.

11:24.667 --> 11:27.000
No, this is nothing like
the morcellator, Irene.

11:27.083 --> 11:29.125
If it was, I wouldn't let it
anywhere near you.

11:29.208 --> 11:31.458
-So it's safe?
-Completely routine.

11:31.542 --> 11:33.667
Takes about 45 minutes,
in typical cases.

11:33.750 --> 11:36.041
I have MS.
Am I still a typical case?

11:36.125 --> 11:37.375
No.

11:37.458 --> 11:40.250
Because you have me
for your doctor.

11:40.333 --> 11:43.583
See you in the OR.

11:43.667 --> 11:45.208
[Link] Another screw, please.

11:45.291 --> 11:46.834
Everything okay?

11:46.917 --> 11:48.208
-[Sighs] Yes.
-Mm-hmm.

11:48.291 --> 11:51.375
-I just wanted to enjoy the moment.
-Mm-hmm.

11:51.458 --> 11:53.041
Lord knows when
it'll happen again.

11:53.125 --> 11:54.667
After this,
we'll secure the frame.

11:54.750 --> 11:56.625
You'd never know you didn't do
three of these this morning.

11:56.709 --> 11:58.000
Well, I didn't.

11:58.083 --> 11:59.834
But I did change
three diapers.

11:59.917 --> 12:02.750
One was what Amelia has dubbed
the "poo-tastrophe."

12:02.834 --> 12:03.959
[Laughs]

12:04.041 --> 12:05.875
That's when the poo
actually kind of explodes

12:05.959 --> 12:07.583
out of the diaper
and hits the wall.

12:07.667 --> 12:09.625
[Chuckles lightly]

12:09.709 --> 12:12.625
Got it. That is impolite
adult conversation.

12:12.709 --> 12:14.709
-Sorry, I rarely get to talk to adults.
-Mm.

12:14.792 --> 12:16.875
-[Monitor beeping rapidly]
-Wait. What happened?

12:16.959 --> 12:18.959
Heart rate's in the 120s
and his sats are dropping.

12:19.041 --> 12:21.041
-He could have thrown a fat embolism.
-Oh, come on!

12:21.125 --> 12:22.458
A-Alright, push fluids,

12:22.542 --> 12:23.834
and let's get him packed up
for a CTA.

12:23.917 --> 12:25.959
[Beeping continues]

12:26.041 --> 12:28.542
Did you call
your mom?

12:28.625 --> 12:31.959
I did, and she was
at a grocery store,

12:32.041 --> 12:33.166
which I have asked her
not to go to

12:33.250 --> 12:34.583
at least
a hundred times.

12:34.667 --> 12:36.041
She's stubborn,
like you.

12:36.125 --> 12:37.041
[Breathing heavily]

12:37.125 --> 12:38.291
Marcella?

12:38.375 --> 12:40.667
[Breathing heavily]

12:40.750 --> 12:43.667
Marcella, Veronica's just been
admitted to the hospital.

12:43.750 --> 12:45.834
No. No.

12:45.917 --> 12:47.000
She was mild.

12:47.083 --> 12:48.625
I know.

12:48.709 --> 12:51.417
But her symptoms became
more pronounced.

12:51.500 --> 12:54.917
Use your time with her,
not me.

12:57.000 --> 12:58.583
Marcella,
you need care, too.

12:58.667 --> 13:01.041
I don't care about me!

13:01.125 --> 13:02.500
Save my baby girl!

13:02.583 --> 13:03.792
[Gasping]

13:03.917 --> 13:06.625
♪♪

13:06.709 --> 13:07.959
Okay. Come on.

13:08.041 --> 13:09.792
[Breathes sharply]

13:09.875 --> 13:11.250
♪♪

13:11.333 --> 13:14.125
But my mom's still alive.

13:14.208 --> 13:16.625
She is,
but she isn't improving.

13:16.709 --> 13:18.917
Veronica, we need to know
whether your mom would want

13:19.000 --> 13:20.083
a machine to breathe
for her if she --

13:20.166 --> 13:21.375
No, no.
She wants to live.

13:21.458 --> 13:22.917
So instead of scaring
the hell out of me,

13:23.000 --> 13:24.917
can you go
and concentrate on that?

13:25.000 --> 13:27.709
Do whatever you can
to save her.

13:27.792 --> 13:29.834
Maybe now's not
the best time, Maggie.

13:29.917 --> 13:31.834
It may be the only time.

13:31.917 --> 13:33.417
This is my fault.

13:33.500 --> 13:35.208
[Crying] I'm so sorry.

13:35.291 --> 13:36.875
I'm so, so sorry.

13:36.959 --> 13:38.041
[Monitor beeps]

13:38.125 --> 13:39.667
[Coughing]

13:39.750 --> 13:40.917
Her sats are in the 80s.
I'm gonna increase the O2.

13:41.000 --> 13:42.750
This is my fault.

13:42.834 --> 13:43.917
All of this.

13:44.000 --> 13:45.333
[Wheezes]

13:45.417 --> 13:48.375
I-It was her birthday,
and...

13:48.458 --> 13:49.959
and she'd --

13:50.041 --> 13:52.792
she'd been alone
so long,

13:52.875 --> 13:57.000
so I went over to her house
to -- to cook for her.

13:57.083 --> 13:59.500
We wore masks
and we ate outside

13:59.583 --> 14:03.375
and w-we -- we tried
to stay distanced,

14:03.458 --> 14:05.959
but it was her birthday,
and she's my mom,

14:06.041 --> 14:07.959
so I gave her a hug.

14:08.041 --> 14:10.500
I just gave her one hug.

14:10.583 --> 14:14.875
[Sobs]
And I might have killed her.

14:14.959 --> 14:17.583
I killed my mom.
[Sniffles]

14:17.667 --> 14:19.000
No, no, no, no.
Listen to me.

14:19.083 --> 14:20.792
Listen to me.

14:20.875 --> 14:23.166
This is not
your fault, okay?

14:23.250 --> 14:26.542
And I promise you, your mom
will never regret that hug.

14:26.667 --> 14:28.083
-Never.
-[Sniffles]

14:28.166 --> 14:29.917
Okay?

14:30.000 --> 14:32.417
And, listen, my daughter's
a doctor here, too.

14:32.500 --> 14:33.875
And she's with your mom
right now,

14:33.959 --> 14:36.333
and she's taking care
of her, okay?

14:36.417 --> 14:38.250
It's okay.

14:38.333 --> 14:39.333
[Crying]

14:39.417 --> 14:41.208
It's okay.

14:41.291 --> 14:44.208
Down that hallway is PACU.

14:44.291 --> 14:46.417
That's recovery.

14:46.500 --> 14:48.000
This is
a supply closet.

14:48.083 --> 14:51.041
-Nice.
-Here we have someone's office.

14:51.125 --> 14:53.250
You're an incredible
tour guide.

14:53.333 --> 14:55.458
Well, not much to see
in a pandemic.

14:55.542 --> 14:57.917
Is she here today, or are you
keeping me from her?

14:58.000 --> 14:59.959
-She? Who's she?
-Come on, Mac.

15:00.041 --> 15:01.625
The boys tell me
everything.

15:01.709 --> 15:03.834
Said you've been talking about
somebody that you work with,

15:03.917 --> 15:05.208
a general surgeon?

15:05.291 --> 15:06.834
I work with several
general surgeons.

15:06.917 --> 15:08.166
Oh, okay.

15:08.250 --> 15:10.250
Do you smile when you talk
about all of them?

15:10.333 --> 15:11.250
[Chuckles]

15:11.333 --> 15:13.000
I'd like to meet her.

15:15.333 --> 15:16.834
Yeah, well, you can't.

15:16.917 --> 15:18.667
Why?

15:18.750 --> 15:22.041
'Cause she's on a breathing tube
in the ICU.

15:22.125 --> 15:23.792
Mac...

15:23.875 --> 15:25.041
again?

15:28.166 --> 15:29.917
I'll, uh...

15:30.000 --> 15:31.709
check in on you
after the procedure.

15:31.792 --> 15:33.375
Yeah, okay.

15:33.458 --> 15:35.375
[Breathes deeply]

15:35.458 --> 15:41.458
♪♪

15:42.750 --> 15:45.250
Well, he's stable,

15:45.333 --> 15:46.834
but with that large
of an embolism,

15:46.917 --> 15:48.208
he's gonna have to stay
on the vent

15:48.291 --> 15:50.166
for at least
a few days.

15:50.250 --> 15:53.625
This never
should have happened!

15:53.709 --> 15:55.041
I know
I'm a little rusty,

15:55.125 --> 15:56.417
and I probably shouldn't
have been talking

15:56.500 --> 15:57.625
about exploding diapers,
but --

15:57.709 --> 16:00.500
No, I am not angry at you, Lincoln.

16:00.583 --> 16:02.500
This was a -- a complication.

16:02.583 --> 16:03.917
I mean, there's nothing

16:04.000 --> 16:05.166
you could
or should have done better.

16:05.250 --> 16:08.750
I'm just angry
with this whole situation!

16:08.834 --> 16:10.125
I mean, saving
this young man's life

16:10.208 --> 16:12.458
means we're down
to one available vent!

16:12.542 --> 16:15.250
Which now means I have to close
the doors to our trauma!

16:15.333 --> 16:19.458
Which means people will die
unnecessarily!

16:19.542 --> 16:21.667
Even more people
will die.

16:21.750 --> 16:25.667
♪♪

16:25.750 --> 16:27.834
We're closing to trauma?

16:27.917 --> 16:29.125
Looks like it.

16:29.208 --> 16:30.291
♪♪

16:36.041 --> 16:38.959
[Sighs, grunts lightly]

16:39.041 --> 16:41.000
[Cellphone vibrates]

16:41.083 --> 16:42.375
[Cellphone chimes]

16:42.458 --> 16:44.583
[Sighs]

16:44.667 --> 16:46.583
♪♪

16:46.667 --> 16:47.750
[Cellphone chimes]

16:47.834 --> 16:49.667
♪♪

16:49.750 --> 16:51.709
Okay.

16:51.792 --> 16:52.834
Cristina.

16:52.917 --> 16:55.834
♪♪

16:55.917 --> 16:57.417
[Cellphone swishes]

16:57.500 --> 16:59.041
[Cellphone chimes]

16:59.125 --> 17:00.333
♪♪

17:00.417 --> 17:02.041
[Chuckles]

17:02.125 --> 17:05.875
♪♪

17:05.959 --> 17:08.417
[Camera shutter clicks]

17:08.500 --> 17:10.041
[Cellphone swishes]

17:10.125 --> 17:12.000
♪♪

17:12.083 --> 17:13.375
[Waves crashing]

17:13.458 --> 17:14.917
[Seagulls crying]

17:15.000 --> 17:17.375
♪♪

17:17.458 --> 17:19.834
This is nice...

17:19.917 --> 17:22.166
just being able
to talk to you.

17:22.250 --> 17:23.792
What do you mean?

17:23.875 --> 17:26.709
Well, I spend
a fair amount of time

17:26.792 --> 17:28.500
trying to talk
to people.

17:28.583 --> 17:31.291
Sofia, Callie, Arizona.

17:31.375 --> 17:33.500
I try to warn them
sometimes.

17:33.583 --> 17:34.875
Warn them about what?

17:34.959 --> 17:37.875
I can't let go.

17:37.959 --> 17:40.709
When you have
a little kid like that...

17:40.792 --> 17:43.709
hard to let go.

17:43.792 --> 17:47.709
So I hang out,
watch her grow up.

17:47.792 --> 17:49.542
Sometimes I see
something coming.

17:49.625 --> 17:52.291
-Like the divorce?
-Yep.

17:52.375 --> 17:54.208
I stand beside them.
I yell in their ears, "Wake up!"

17:54.291 --> 17:55.458
[Chuckles]

17:55.542 --> 17:58.417
"Wake up!
You're missing it!

17:58.500 --> 18:00.917
-You're missing the best part of life!"
-[Laughs]

18:01.000 --> 18:03.166
When you love someone,
you tell them.

18:05.792 --> 18:08.792
And then w-what do they do
when you yell in their ears?

18:08.875 --> 18:10.917
Well, sometimes they listen.
Sometimes they hear me.

18:11.000 --> 18:13.083
-[Metal creaks]
-I never get the credit, though.

18:13.166 --> 18:15.083
They think
it's their own idea.

18:15.166 --> 18:16.875
[Laughs]

18:16.959 --> 18:22.959
♪♪

18:25.166 --> 18:27.041
[Laughter]

18:27.125 --> 18:28.834
[Laughs]

18:28.917 --> 18:31.750
She looks
so much like you.

18:31.834 --> 18:32.959
Ellis?

18:33.041 --> 18:34.709
Everybody says she looks
like Meredith.

18:34.792 --> 18:38.709
Yeah, she does, but also weirdly
just like you.

18:38.792 --> 18:40.583
You really are sisters.

18:43.000 --> 18:44.166
I'm not gonna ask.

18:44.250 --> 18:46.291
You can. I just --
I don't know anything.

18:46.375 --> 18:48.500
And Richard won't even let me
near the hospital

18:48.583 --> 18:49.709
or any of the charts.

18:49.792 --> 18:51.834
Well, that's because
you need a break,

18:51.917 --> 18:54.041
not because
you did anything wrong.

18:54.125 --> 18:56.041
DeLuca was not
your fault.

18:56.125 --> 18:57.834
We all lost him.

18:57.917 --> 18:59.000
That grief belongs
to all of us,

18:59.083 --> 19:01.917
and it might...

19:02.000 --> 19:04.875
be easier
if you learn to share that.

19:04.959 --> 19:08.709
[Children laughing, shouting]

19:08.792 --> 19:11.709
Is there a recovery program
for people who trash their lives

19:11.792 --> 19:14.041
and can't blame drugs,
so that I can get some of that

19:14.125 --> 19:16.291
sweet program
zen master stuff you have?

19:16.375 --> 19:18.583
[Laughs]

19:18.667 --> 19:19.959
You don't have to be
an addict --

19:20.041 --> 19:22.166
it's called therapy.

19:22.250 --> 19:23.583
Hmm.

19:23.667 --> 19:25.375
How many sessions
until Owen feels safe

19:25.458 --> 19:27.959
to leave me alone
with the kids?

19:28.041 --> 19:30.834
I tried therapy.
It makes me uncomfortable.

19:30.917 --> 19:32.458
Mammograms make us
uncomfortable,

19:32.542 --> 19:34.834
but we still get them.

19:34.917 --> 19:37.834
Yeah, the man stared at me
and nodded

19:37.917 --> 19:39.875
and grunted
on every fourth word.

19:39.959 --> 19:41.458
I counted the grunts.

19:41.542 --> 19:43.834
It was an -- an expensive
kind of torture.

19:43.917 --> 19:46.458
So, when the first therapist
you tried

19:46.542 --> 19:49.875
was clearly the wrong fit,
did you...

19:49.959 --> 19:51.667
try another one?

19:51.750 --> 19:52.834
You know I was
just being nice

19:52.917 --> 19:54.417
when I said
Ellis looked like you.

19:54.500 --> 19:56.166
[Boy] Now we're both
right side up.

19:56.250 --> 19:57.959
[Children laughing]

19:59.083 --> 20:01.000
How'd the mom take it?

20:01.083 --> 20:03.000
-How do you think?
-[Sighs]

20:03.083 --> 20:05.000
Is it just me, or did this job
used to be fun?

20:05.083 --> 20:07.875
Like, not even 10 years ago.
Like, very recently, fun.

20:07.959 --> 20:12.083
This used to be the greatest job
in the world.

20:12.166 --> 20:14.083
Please tell me
Veronica's okay.

20:14.166 --> 20:16.667
Well, I'd hoped with
oxygen therapy and antivirals,

20:16.750 --> 20:18.166
we'd see a better
response, but...

20:18.250 --> 20:19.375
[Cellphone vibrating]

20:19.458 --> 20:21.208
...that hasn't been
the case.

20:21.291 --> 20:23.166
Crap.

20:23.250 --> 20:24.500
-I need you to get back in bed.
-Take me back. Take me back.

20:24.583 --> 20:25.667
-I know, baby. I know.
-Ortiz, what the hell?

20:25.750 --> 20:27.375
-Sweetheart.
-No, no, no, no.

20:27.458 --> 20:28.750
I found her halfway to
the elevator, almost collapsed.

20:28.834 --> 20:30.041
-Let's get you back in bed.
-No. I need to --

20:30.125 --> 20:31.083
-Alright.
-I need to see my mom, please.

20:31.166 --> 20:32.583
-Shh, shh, shh, shh, shh.
-Okay.

20:32.667 --> 20:33.834
-Please, I need to see my mom.
-Okay.

20:33.917 --> 20:35.333
We want to get you
feeling better first,

20:35.417 --> 20:36.625
-then we can talk about visitation, okay?
-No, no.

20:36.709 --> 20:38.333
[Gasping]
Everyone here is dying,

20:38.417 --> 20:40.917
and you guys have no clue
how to save us,

20:41.000 --> 20:43.917
so at least
let me see my mom.

20:44.000 --> 20:45.667
Let me say goodbye.

20:45.750 --> 20:47.000
Before...

20:47.083 --> 20:48.125
-[Monitors beeping rapidly]
-Veronica.

20:48.208 --> 20:49.291
Veronica? Hey!

20:49.375 --> 20:50.959
-Blood pressure's tanking.
-Veronica?

20:51.041 --> 20:52.417
I've got no pulse.

20:52.500 --> 20:53.625
Alright, get me epi and
a crash cart in here, now!

20:53.709 --> 20:54.875
Okay.

20:54.959 --> 20:55.917
I want to start compressions
right away.

20:56.000 --> 20:57.750
Okay, go, go, go.

20:57.834 --> 21:00.000
[Beeping continues]

21:00.083 --> 21:01.041
Come on, Veronica.

21:01.125 --> 21:02.959
-Come on, Veronica.
-Here we go.

21:05.125 --> 21:06.834
[Levi] You're doing great,
Marcella.

21:06.917 --> 21:08.750
Stay positive.

21:10.959 --> 21:15.041
If you can make it to Friday
without needing a vent...

21:15.125 --> 21:17.041
you're on your way.

21:17.125 --> 21:19.250
You know, we're, um --

21:19.333 --> 21:22.625
we're almost there,
because it's --

21:22.709 --> 21:24.750
♪ Hump Day ♪

21:24.834 --> 21:26.542
♪ What do you say? ♪

21:26.625 --> 21:29.333
♪ You look at the week
and you say, "Half way!" ♪

21:29.417 --> 21:31.125
♪ Half what? Half way ♪

21:31.208 --> 21:33.125
♪ That's 'cause
it's Hump Day ♪

21:33.208 --> 21:36.125
♪ The next thing you know,
it's gonna be Friday ♪

21:36.208 --> 21:37.542
[Chuckles]

21:37.625 --> 21:38.875
My mom gives me
that exact same look

21:38.959 --> 21:40.125
every time
I do that rap.

21:40.208 --> 21:43.542
Mnh-mnh.
No, no, that is not rap.

21:43.625 --> 21:44.542
[Chuckles]

21:44.625 --> 21:45.792
[Monitor beeping rapidly]

21:45.875 --> 21:47.083
Oh, God.
She's decompensating.

21:47.166 --> 21:48.792
I need a crash cart
in here, now!

21:48.875 --> 21:50.375
And someone page Dr. Pierce!

21:50.458 --> 21:51.959
What? Are you sure you don't
want to wait until the --

21:52.041 --> 21:54.083
No! Her saturation levels
are plummeting and...

21:54.166 --> 21:56.208
[Female voice]
Code Blue. Code Blue.

21:56.291 --> 21:58.208
Oxygenate patient.

21:58.291 --> 22:02.041
Uh, prep induction
and paralytic agent.

22:02.125 --> 22:04.417
Uh, ch-check, uh,
pa-- patent cuff.

22:04.500 --> 22:05.917
Tube ready?

22:06.000 --> 22:07.709
Code Blue. Code Blue.

22:07.792 --> 22:13.792
♪♪

22:16.041 --> 22:17.917
[Beeping continues]

22:18.000 --> 22:24.000
♪♪

22:26.959 --> 22:29.125
-You're in.
-[Sighs]

22:29.208 --> 22:30.417
[Beeping continues]

22:30.500 --> 22:31.417
No. No!

22:31.500 --> 22:33.208
♪♪

22:33.291 --> 22:34.625
Schmitt, what did you do?

22:34.709 --> 22:36.375
[Levi] She was desaturating.
I had no choice.

22:36.458 --> 22:38.875
Now, can we please get
a ventilator in here?

22:38.959 --> 22:40.583
[Beeping continues]

22:40.667 --> 22:42.959
Oh, my God.

22:43.041 --> 22:45.291
There isn't one.

22:51.041 --> 22:53.959
Removing the last few
pieces of stone.

22:54.041 --> 22:55.709
Stent?

22:55.792 --> 22:58.834
Stent's gonna stay in place
to ensure proper drainage.

22:58.917 --> 23:00.875
You know, you have
a really good touch, Wilson.

23:00.959 --> 23:03.709
We don't have nearly enough
women in urology.

23:03.792 --> 23:06.875
Have you ever considered
changing specialties?

23:06.959 --> 23:09.709
[Laughing]
Change specialties?

23:09.792 --> 23:11.875
That would be just --
[Laughs] No.

23:11.959 --> 23:13.291
I -- No.

23:13.375 --> 23:16.083
Uh, n-no. No.

23:16.166 --> 23:18.500
Mm.

23:18.583 --> 23:21.583
Okay, all done here.
Removing the scope.

23:23.125 --> 23:25.667
Oh, my God.
Is that...?

23:25.750 --> 23:27.875
I have never seen
this before,

23:27.959 --> 23:29.667
only read about it
in a textbook.

23:29.750 --> 23:31.542
This is the patient's ureter.

23:31.625 --> 23:33.250
Her tissues
are so friable,

23:33.333 --> 23:34.834
the scope pulled
the whole damn thing out.

23:34.917 --> 23:36.375
We're gonna have to
open her up.

23:36.458 --> 23:37.959
Prepare an ex lap!

23:38.041 --> 23:43.000
♪♪

23:43.083 --> 23:45.583
[Jackson] Veronica's X-rays show
worsening consolidations.

23:45.667 --> 23:46.875
I put her on BiPAP.

23:46.959 --> 23:48.208
Her oxygen levels
keep decreasing.

23:48.291 --> 23:49.583
She needs this vent.
She needs to be in ICU.

23:49.667 --> 23:51.166
Marcella is already intubated.

23:51.250 --> 23:52.750
Schmitt can't bag her forever.

23:52.834 --> 23:53.792
Well...

23:53.875 --> 23:55.250
[Mama Ortiz]
Save the daughter.

23:55.333 --> 23:57.000
Protocols say you have to save
the patient

23:57.083 --> 23:58.375
most likely to recover.

23:58.458 --> 24:00.834
- We know.
- Yeah, we know.

24:00.917 --> 24:03.250
If she wakes up and finds out
we chose her over her mother,

24:03.333 --> 24:05.667
she's not gonna be able
to forgive herself.

24:05.750 --> 24:08.917
Marcella's last words to me
were, "Save my baby girl."

24:10.166 --> 24:11.208
[Sighs]

24:11.291 --> 24:12.834
Put Veronica on the vent.

24:12.917 --> 24:14.709
Before somebody else
takes it.

24:18.083 --> 24:20.834
How in the hell does her ureter
come out with a kidney stone?

24:20.917 --> 24:23.125
We will try to reattach it
to her bladder

24:23.208 --> 24:25.208
without having to remove
the kidney.

24:25.291 --> 24:28.208
Irene is everything
to my boys, Wilson.

24:28.291 --> 24:29.834
I mean, everything.

24:29.917 --> 24:31.834
She's always been their aunt,
but now she's their teacher,

24:31.917 --> 24:34.000
their football coach,
their -- their therapist,

24:34.083 --> 24:36.291
their best bloody friend.

24:41.125 --> 24:42.834
[Voice breaking]
I-I can't believe this.

24:42.917 --> 24:45.000
I can't. I can't.
I can't.

24:45.083 --> 24:48.041
I cannot do this again.

24:48.125 --> 24:51.125
I cannot look at my boys,
who've already lost everything,

24:51.208 --> 24:52.750
and tell them that
they've lost her, too.

24:52.834 --> 24:53.667
I cannot --
I cannot do that.

24:53.750 --> 24:54.709
Okay, okay.
Stop. Stop.

24:54.792 --> 24:56.166
This is -- [Sighs]

24:56.250 --> 24:59.875
This is not a catastrophe,
this is a complication.

25:01.625 --> 25:03.125
[Sniffles]

25:03.208 --> 25:05.875
Then what in the hell
are you still doing here?

25:05.959 --> 25:08.333
-Get in there and bloody fix her.
-[Sighs]

25:11.125 --> 25:13.834
[Maggie] We've reached out to
every hospital in Washington.

25:13.917 --> 25:15.458
I never imagined --

25:15.542 --> 25:16.834
I know.

25:16.917 --> 25:18.458
♪♪

25:18.542 --> 25:20.667
Schmitt, you did
the right thing.

25:20.750 --> 25:22.959
Another vent will come.

25:25.083 --> 25:26.500
[Voice breaking]
It has to, right?

25:26.583 --> 25:32.583
♪♪

25:35.083 --> 25:41.083
♪♪

25:43.333 --> 25:45.959
[Monitor beeping]

25:48.792 --> 25:50.250
Have a nice lunch?

25:50.333 --> 25:52.125
I was updating Dr. Hayes.

25:53.291 --> 25:54.875
You had to take the kidney?

25:54.959 --> 25:56.959
The remaining piece
of the ureter wasn't long enough

25:57.041 --> 25:58.333
to do a simple
reattachment.

25:58.417 --> 25:59.959
But Irene has MS.

26:00.041 --> 26:01.583
She could have bladder issues
in the future,

26:01.667 --> 26:03.041
which would be much more
complicated

26:03.125 --> 26:04.792
with just one kidney.

26:04.875 --> 26:07.083
Why would she only have
one kidney?

26:07.166 --> 26:09.709
-What?
-I'm putting it back, Wilson!

26:09.792 --> 26:11.291
You're doing
an auto-transplant?

26:11.375 --> 26:12.834
-I am trying to!
-[Sighs]

26:12.917 --> 26:15.875
It'd be a lot easier if I had
a second pair of hands.

26:15.959 --> 26:18.083
-Are you coming or not?
-Yes. Yes.

26:18.166 --> 26:19.667
Irrigation.

26:19.750 --> 26:21.375
[Beeping continues]

26:21.458 --> 26:23.959
Child, who throws away a kidney?

26:24.041 --> 26:25.333
Lord.

26:25.417 --> 26:27.583
[Suction gurgling, respirator hissing]

26:27.667 --> 26:30.458
[Woman on P.A.]
Dr. Sikes to Recovery.

26:30.542 --> 26:32.834
-Dr. Sikes to Recovery.
-Thanks.

26:32.917 --> 26:35.000
[Monitor beeping]

26:35.083 --> 26:37.542
If she keeps breathing
over the vent consistently,

26:37.625 --> 26:39.125
we should be able
to take her off it soon.

26:39.208 --> 26:42.125
That's good to hear.

26:42.208 --> 26:43.834
Be a shame if someone like me
got to walk away

26:43.917 --> 26:45.542
while someone like her...

26:46.542 --> 26:48.250
[Chuckles, sniffles]

26:48.333 --> 26:50.083
I'll, uh --
I'll get out of your way.

26:51.166 --> 26:53.041
Hey, Tom?

26:54.375 --> 26:56.917
When I got back
from Iraq, I, uh...

26:57.041 --> 26:59.041
[Sighs] I remember thinking,

26:59.125 --> 27:01.917
"Why do I get to keep working?

27:02.000 --> 27:05.959
Why do I get to
cook dinner?

27:06.041 --> 27:07.542
Swim in a lake?
[Chuckles]

27:07.625 --> 27:09.000
Fall in love?"

27:09.083 --> 27:10.750
♪♪

27:10.834 --> 27:12.917
It's a terrible feeling.

27:13.000 --> 27:15.750
I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

27:15.834 --> 27:17.542
Even me?

27:17.625 --> 27:18.917
[Both chuckle]

27:19.000 --> 27:24.166
♪♪

27:24.250 --> 27:25.792
[Waves crashing]

27:25.875 --> 27:26.959
[Seagulls crying]

27:27.041 --> 27:29.000
[Lexie] Tell me
your favorite thing.

27:29.083 --> 27:30.208
[Meredith]
About what?

27:30.291 --> 27:32.208
About life.
Life right now.

27:32.291 --> 27:34.166
There's a global pandemic.

27:34.250 --> 27:35.959
[Chuckling] That
is your favorite thing?

27:36.041 --> 27:38.417
No.
I just meant that I don't --

27:38.500 --> 27:39.792
Oh, okay.

27:39.875 --> 27:41.542
You're saying
that the pandemic --

27:41.625 --> 27:43.625
No, it just feels
very shallow

27:43.709 --> 27:45.166
to talk about
my favorite things

27:45.250 --> 27:47.375
when there's people dying
in record numbers.

27:47.458 --> 27:48.792
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Alright.

27:48.875 --> 27:51.208
Well, that's --
that's stupid.

27:51.291 --> 27:53.000
Excuse me?

27:53.083 --> 27:56.000
You're saying that you're not
allowed to enjoy your life

27:56.083 --> 27:58.417
because people are dying
in record numbers?

27:58.500 --> 28:01.709
That makes exactly zero sense.

28:01.792 --> 28:05.458
If the having of a life and a body

28:05.542 --> 28:07.458
isn't cause for celebration,

28:07.542 --> 28:10.458
then what's the point
of avoiding death?

28:10.542 --> 28:12.709
I mean, just -- if you're not
gonna enjoy it,

28:12.792 --> 28:14.959
then you might as well
join them.

28:18.583 --> 28:21.917
Bailey just had a birthday
and I asked him what he wanted,

28:22.000 --> 28:24.875
and he said a whole cake,
all to himself.

28:24.959 --> 28:26.875
He did not want to share.

28:26.959 --> 28:29.709
So, of course,
I got him the cake.

28:29.792 --> 28:32.667
And so, do you know what he did
as soon as he got that cake?

28:32.750 --> 28:33.625
What?

28:33.709 --> 28:35.166
-Faceplant.
-[Laughs]

28:35.250 --> 28:38.208
Just planted his face
smack in the middle of the cake.

28:40.208 --> 28:45.125
And we laughed and laughed
and laughed.

28:45.208 --> 28:47.875
It was me and Zola
and Ellis

28:47.959 --> 28:50.917
and Maggie and Amelia
and Link.

28:51.000 --> 28:54.458
Zola laughed so hard,
she peed her pants,

28:54.542 --> 28:56.375
so then we had a laugh
at that.

28:56.458 --> 28:57.375
[Chuckles]

28:57.458 --> 28:59.166
And then
as we were laughing,

28:59.250 --> 29:01.959
Bailey started licking
the frosting off each finger

29:02.083 --> 29:05.000
really slow and making
a whole production out of it.

29:05.083 --> 29:07.166
And I looked at him
watching us laugh,

29:07.250 --> 29:09.166
and I realized that
that was the point.

29:09.250 --> 29:12.250
That was his plan -- he wanted
to make us all laugh,

29:12.333 --> 29:14.834
because the baby had been
keeping us up all night

29:14.917 --> 29:16.750
and the pandemic was
all over the news,

29:16.834 --> 29:18.500
and none of us were having
any fun at all,

29:18.583 --> 29:22.709
and nobody was laughing,
and he wanted to make us laugh.

29:22.792 --> 29:24.083
Yeah.

29:24.166 --> 29:28.792
And that's what he wanted
for his birthday.

29:28.875 --> 29:31.166
And when I looked at him and
I saw that light in his eyes,

29:31.250 --> 29:33.208
he looked
just like his dad.

29:34.458 --> 29:36.583
That same sparkle.

29:36.667 --> 29:39.000
That same delight.

29:39.083 --> 29:42.000
That's a pretty good
favorite thing.

29:42.083 --> 29:45.917
[Seagulls crying]

29:50.709 --> 29:52.750
[Metal creaks]

29:52.834 --> 29:55.000
[Siren wailing in distance]

29:58.083 --> 30:00.083
If I'd known I was going to
have to choose

30:00.166 --> 30:02.417
whether to vent a mother
or her daughter,

30:02.500 --> 30:04.500
I would have quit
med school.

30:06.291 --> 30:11.000
If I'd seen a tenth of what
I've seen these past few months,

30:11.083 --> 30:12.917
I would have quit, too.

30:15.917 --> 30:18.417
We shouldn't even
be here.

30:18.500 --> 30:20.417
How did we get here?

30:20.500 --> 30:22.041
Let's quit.

30:22.125 --> 30:23.583
Don't go back to Boston.

30:23.667 --> 30:25.458
We've got each other.
We've got our earbuds.

30:25.542 --> 30:28.625
Let's just live
while we can.

30:30.125 --> 30:32.000
I'll go where you go.

30:32.083 --> 30:36.125
But we both know
you won't let yourself quit.

30:37.500 --> 30:39.500
Take a break, okay?

30:42.125 --> 30:44.792
I'll check on
your patients.

30:44.875 --> 30:46.792
[Wailing continues]

30:46.875 --> 30:50.583
♪♪

30:50.667 --> 30:52.458
We can share earbuds.

30:54.875 --> 30:56.250
And...?

30:58.041 --> 31:00.000
What if they can share
a vent?

31:00.083 --> 31:05.417
♪♪

31:05.500 --> 31:08.125
Tell Schmitt
to keep bagging!

31:13.875 --> 31:15.417
[Monitors beeping]

31:15.500 --> 31:16.875
[Maggie] The machines
are capable of delivering

31:16.959 --> 31:19.000
much stronger pressure
than any one patient needs.

31:19.083 --> 31:20.250
And we just need
to adapt the vents

31:20.333 --> 31:22.041
to serve
two patients at once

31:22.125 --> 31:24.625
by using a T- or a Y-shaped
splitter on the airflow tube.

31:24.709 --> 31:27.000
And we're using viral filters
to prevent cross-contamination

31:27.083 --> 31:28.458
of particles
between patients.

31:28.542 --> 31:30.041
[Chuckling] All of this
was Pierce's idea.

31:30.125 --> 31:32.041
It's not ideal,
but it buys us some time

31:32.125 --> 31:33.375
until we get some
reinforcements.

31:33.458 --> 31:35.000
-Yes!
-[Laughing]

31:35.083 --> 31:37.000
-Hey!
-Hey, hey!

31:37.083 --> 31:38.166
Uh-huh.

31:38.250 --> 31:39.917
Uh-uh-uh.

31:40.000 --> 31:41.291
[Laughing]
Richard, you okay?

31:41.375 --> 31:43.333
I am so good.
I just have to dance

31:43.417 --> 31:45.542
because you all doubled
the amount of vents

31:45.625 --> 31:47.208
we have in the hospital.

31:47.291 --> 31:49.667
I have to dance because we can
now open the doors to trauma,

31:49.750 --> 31:53.875
and you have to dance
because you just got a raise.

31:53.959 --> 31:55.417
-Oh, hey!
-[Laughter]

31:55.500 --> 31:57.625
Oh! I'll dance to that.

31:57.709 --> 31:59.709
[Laughter continues]

32:02.000 --> 32:04.500
[Respirator hissing]

32:04.583 --> 32:07.500
Keep an eye on their vitals
and get labs every hour.

32:07.583 --> 32:10.291
Page me for any change,
no matter how small.

32:10.375 --> 32:16.375
♪♪

32:18.333 --> 32:20.041
[Intern Sara] Mom...

32:20.125 --> 32:21.250
[Crying]

32:21.333 --> 32:22.834
Come here, mamita.

32:22.917 --> 32:24.875
I know.

32:24.959 --> 32:26.458
It's okay.

32:26.542 --> 32:28.834
-It's alright, baby.
-[Crying]

32:28.917 --> 32:30.792
I know.

32:33.667 --> 32:37.583
Your vitals look good,
and you are making urine.

32:37.667 --> 32:39.583
-One of my party tricks.
-[Both laugh]

32:39.667 --> 32:41.375
You'll be able to go home
in three days

32:41.458 --> 32:43.583
-if your pain's under control.
-[Trash can lid thumps]

32:43.667 --> 32:44.959
[Hayes] Wilson?

32:45.041 --> 32:47.000
Thank you.

32:47.083 --> 32:49.000
For, um...

32:51.041 --> 32:52.875
Just thank you.

32:52.959 --> 32:53.959
Okay.

32:58.166 --> 33:00.000
She single?

33:00.083 --> 33:02.000
-Who -- Wilson?
-Yeah.

33:02.083 --> 33:04.083
I don't know. Why?
You trying to set me up?

33:04.166 --> 33:05.875
I was hoping
you could set me up.

33:05.959 --> 33:07.250
-Mm-hmm.
-[Chuckles]

33:07.333 --> 33:08.834
I mean, she did have my kidney
in her hands.

33:08.917 --> 33:10.834
It doesn't get more intimate
than that.

33:10.917 --> 33:12.709
-Uh-huh.
-Have you checked on the boys?

33:12.792 --> 33:14.250
Austin's supposed to be reading
"Animal Farm,"

33:14.333 --> 33:16.250
and I'm worried he hasn't
made it past page 50.

33:16.333 --> 33:17.625
Page 50?

33:17.709 --> 33:19.041
We'll be lucky if he's even
opened the book.

33:19.125 --> 33:20.458
[Laughs]

33:20.542 --> 33:24.709
♪♪

33:24.792 --> 33:26.333
Her lungs are clear.

33:26.417 --> 33:28.125
[Owen] Her ABGs are showing
improved oxygenation,

33:28.208 --> 33:29.917
and she's passed her SBTs.

33:30.000 --> 33:33.125
Her vitals are normalized.

33:33.208 --> 33:34.166
Okay.

33:34.250 --> 33:36.458
[Monitor beeping]

33:36.542 --> 33:38.917
♪♪

33:39.000 --> 33:40.750
Prepare to extubate.

33:40.834 --> 33:45.917
♪♪

33:46.000 --> 33:47.583
Suction, please.

33:50.000 --> 33:51.709
Okay, here we go.

33:51.792 --> 33:57.417
♪♪

33:57.500 --> 33:59.959
[Waves crashing]

34:00.041 --> 34:02.166
[Seagulls crying]

34:02.250 --> 34:06.792
♪ When your heart's burning
like a forest fire ♪

34:06.875 --> 34:09.166
[Meredith]
So, life is pain, right?

34:09.250 --> 34:11.834
Life is pain,
and somehow that's the point?

34:11.917 --> 34:13.834
-No.
-No.

34:13.917 --> 34:16.208
I lost you both.

34:16.291 --> 34:17.834
I lost George.

34:17.917 --> 34:21.166
I lost my parents, and
even before my parents died...

34:21.250 --> 34:23.250
They caused you
a lot of pain.

34:23.333 --> 34:26.041
So much grief.
So much loss.

34:26.125 --> 34:27.542
So much pain.

34:27.625 --> 34:29.125
Yes.

34:29.208 --> 34:31.291
Yeah, but what's the thing
that caused the pain?

34:31.375 --> 34:34.000
♪ Your thoughts
are getting too deep ♪

34:34.083 --> 34:36.333
I hate this.

34:36.417 --> 34:37.625
♪ And when the summer nights
are getting colder ♪

34:37.709 --> 34:38.875
Hate what?

34:38.959 --> 34:41.250
You knowing things
that I don't.

34:41.333 --> 34:44.250
[Breathes deeply] What's
the thing that caused the pain?

34:44.333 --> 34:46.834
I know it,
I just don't want to say it.

34:46.917 --> 34:49.875
Stubborn
as you ever were.

34:49.959 --> 34:54.041
The depth of grief that you felt
with all the losses --

34:54.125 --> 34:56.458
it's because
of the depth of love.

34:56.542 --> 34:59.917
As long as you're alive,
you get to feel it

35:00.000 --> 35:02.959
and you get to do something
about it.

35:03.041 --> 35:05.917
Everything changes all the time
when you're alive,

35:06.000 --> 35:08.750
and all the time,
you fight the change.

35:08.834 --> 35:11.583
You cling onto what you have
and what you know

35:11.667 --> 35:14.375
like that's how
it should always be.

35:14.458 --> 35:15.875
It's such a waste of life.

35:15.959 --> 35:17.083
Right?

35:17.166 --> 35:18.500
What's a waste?

35:18.583 --> 35:19.917
Fighting change.

35:20.000 --> 35:21.625
Resisting pain.

35:21.709 --> 35:25.709
♪ Oh, you gotta get up
and just keep on going ♪

35:25.792 --> 35:27.875
I miss you both so much.

35:27.959 --> 35:30.041
That's kind of a waste
of time, too.

35:30.125 --> 35:31.166
Why?

35:31.250 --> 35:34.250
Because
we never left you.

35:34.333 --> 35:36.875
Sometimes we're right next
to you, yelling in your ear.

35:36.959 --> 35:38.291
[Laughs]

35:38.375 --> 35:39.875
Don't waste it,
Meredith.

35:39.959 --> 35:41.291
Waste what?

35:41.375 --> 35:43.083
Don't waste
one single minute.

35:43.166 --> 35:44.750
♪ Run, run like a river ♪

35:44.834 --> 35:47.875
♪ Like a river
that runs to the sea ♪

35:47.959 --> 35:52.041
[Meredith] The first minute in a baby's
life is the most terrifying.

35:52.125 --> 35:55.417
In that minute,
a million tiny air sacs

35:55.500 --> 35:57.959
have to perfectly open
and fill with air.

35:58.083 --> 36:00.041
♪ A river that runs
to the sea ♪

36:00.125 --> 36:02.458
♪ You gotta run ♪

36:02.542 --> 36:05.000
-♪ Run, run, like a river ♪
-[Richard laughs]

36:05.083 --> 36:07.000
♪ Run, run, like a river ♪

36:07.083 --> 36:08.208
[Laughter]

36:08.291 --> 36:10.709
♪ Run, run, like a river, run ♪

36:10.792 --> 36:13.291
[Laughter]

36:13.375 --> 36:15.500
♪ Run, run like a river ♪

36:15.583 --> 36:18.750
♪ Like a river
that runs to the sea ♪

36:18.834 --> 36:20.083
-[Woman] Whoo!
-♪ You gotta run to me ♪

36:20.166 --> 36:21.125
[Grunts]

36:21.208 --> 36:23.333
[Laughs]
Whoo!

36:23.417 --> 36:24.917
It's a pretty traumatizing way
of entering the real world.

36:25.000 --> 36:26.417
Yes!

36:26.500 --> 36:31.041
♪ Like a river
that runs to the sea ♪

36:31.125 --> 36:34.083
♪ You gotta run to me ♪

36:34.166 --> 36:36.834
[Siren wailing]

36:36.917 --> 36:38.208
This is the first day
in I don't know how long...

36:38.291 --> 36:39.583
[Sighs]

36:39.667 --> 36:41.083
...that I actually
liked my job again.

36:41.166 --> 36:42.375
[Both chuckle]

36:42.458 --> 36:44.166
I felt inspired.

36:44.250 --> 36:46.375
You were inspired.

36:46.458 --> 36:47.792
By you.

36:47.875 --> 36:49.375
Well, by my earbuds.

36:49.458 --> 36:52.917
No, by us.

36:53.000 --> 36:55.834
By these moments of --
of joy and connection

36:55.917 --> 36:58.250
that we've managed
to carve out.

36:58.333 --> 37:00.667
[Sighs]

37:00.750 --> 37:04.834
I would not have had that idea
without you, Winston.

37:04.917 --> 37:08.875
That life-saving idea,
it came from us.

37:08.959 --> 37:11.083
[Breathes sharply]

37:11.166 --> 37:13.875
And I know that
Boston needs you,

37:13.959 --> 37:15.583
and I know that
I'm being selfish

37:15.667 --> 37:19.583
when I say how miserable
I'm going to be if you go.

37:19.667 --> 37:21.583
What are you doing?

37:21.667 --> 37:22.875
Um...
[Clears throat]

37:22.959 --> 37:25.125
I thought...

37:25.208 --> 37:28.125
we could listen to something
before I leave.

37:28.208 --> 37:31.208
I'm trying to tell you
I don't want you to leave.

37:31.291 --> 37:35.625
I know, but I-I think you might
really like this song.

37:35.709 --> 37:38.000
[TRVSTFALL's "Sing Louder" plays]

37:38.083 --> 37:39.583
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God.

37:39.667 --> 37:42.375
-♪ Take my voice ♪
-[Gasps] Winston.

37:42.458 --> 37:44.667
I still have my loose ends
to tie up back home.

37:44.750 --> 37:46.667
-♪ And make it louder ♪
-[Sighs]

37:46.750 --> 37:50.250
So you have an out,
if you want one.

37:50.333 --> 37:53.875
-♪ Make it wilder, set it free ♪
-But I hope to God you don't.

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I hope you say yes...

37:55.333 --> 37:56.750
♪ And take my words ♪

37:56.834 --> 38:02.000
...because I can't imagine life
without you anymore.

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♪ Give me something ♪

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-♪ To believe in ♪
-And I don't ever want to try.

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-♪ And if all I can do is sing ♪
-Margaret Pierce...

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-♪ I'm gonna sing louder ♪
-...will you marry me?

38:15.709 --> 38:19.834
In that minute,
your whole world stops.

38:19.917 --> 38:22.959
-♪ I'm gonna sing louder ♪
-Is that a yes? [Chuckles]

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Yes. It's a yes.

38:24.834 --> 38:26.125
[Cheers and applause]

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-[Laughing]
-♪ Let it out ♪

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♪♪

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[Cheers and applause continue]

38:36.000 --> 38:37.250
Whoo!

38:37.333 --> 38:38.875
[Laughing]

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It's as if time stands still.

38:41.583 --> 38:43.583
♪♪

38:43.667 --> 38:45.208
[Both sigh]

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Well, today ended a lot better
than it started.

38:47.709 --> 38:48.875
[Sighs]

38:48.959 --> 38:49.917
♪ Oh, but it's not that easy ♪

38:50.000 --> 38:51.959
Your mom is so scary.

38:52.041 --> 38:54.083
What?
Why would you bring up my mom

38:54.166 --> 38:55.500
while we're laying here naked?

38:55.583 --> 38:57.709
-What's wrong with you?
-[Both laughing]

38:57.792 --> 38:59.959
Come here.
[Laughs]

39:00.041 --> 39:03.250
And if I'm being honest,
that minute is pure hell.

39:03.333 --> 39:05.083
[Owen] Ahh! Look what I caught
in the laundry room

39:05.166 --> 39:06.500
when I was scrubbing down.

39:06.583 --> 39:09.375
-I caught myself a Leofish!
-[Leo laughing]

39:09.458 --> 39:12.875
♪ That all I want
is a little peace ♪

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Hey, Zola.

39:14.583 --> 39:15.834
We, um...

39:15.917 --> 39:18.250
We took your mom off
the ventilator today,

39:18.333 --> 39:21.125
and she's breathing
on her own.

39:21.208 --> 39:23.458
-Yes! Thank God!
-[Chuckles]

39:23.542 --> 39:26.000
Bailey! Ellis! Scout!

39:26.083 --> 39:27.250
Hope that was alright.

39:27.333 --> 39:29.041
That's fine.
This is amazing.

39:29.125 --> 39:30.875
Oh, my God.
Thank you!

39:30.959 --> 39:32.834
But fortunately,
most of the time,

39:32.917 --> 39:35.458
the crying starts,
the baby's okay...

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Don't thank me.
Thank --

39:37.583 --> 39:38.959
Thank Teddy.

39:39.041 --> 39:40.333
She, uh -- She's the one
who never gave up.

39:40.417 --> 39:43.083
She stayed with her
night after night.

39:43.166 --> 39:47.625
I just -- I just did
what the numbers told me.

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...and the rest of us
in the room

39:49.291 --> 39:50.875
can finally breathe again.

39:50.959 --> 39:52.834
♪ Oh, let it out ♪

39:52.917 --> 39:56.500
♪♪

40:04.792 --> 40:10.834
♪♪

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♪♪

40:21.208 --> 40:27.208
♪♪