WEBVTT

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[Meredith] There's a moment
I've noticed in the OR...

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♪ I can feel you walk around... ♪

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...especially when a patient
is going south.

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♪ ...my head again ♪

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♪ I find it comforting ♪

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You're working so hard,
you lose yourself.

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♪ And that's troubles me ♪

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All of your problems.

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♪ I lie awake ♪

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Your relationships.

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♪ And wonder where you go ♪

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Career goals.

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Your fears.

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♪ When everything gets quiet and cold ♪

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They all just fade away.

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It's not even you and your patient.

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It's you and yourself.

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♪ I lie awake ♪

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Your hands.

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♪ And wonder where you go ♪

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Your skill.

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♪ When everything gets quiet and cold ♪

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You might call it muscle memory...

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or being in the zone.

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♪ Those little fleeting moments we hold ♪

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But whatever you call it,

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it's rare...

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♪ When everything gets quiet and cold ♪

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...and you never want it to end.

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[waves crashing]

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♪ Everyone around me is on their knees ♪

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-[Owen] Hey.
-Hey.

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Are the, uh -- Are the kids okay?

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Yeah, they're great.

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It took a little longer
to get through the park

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'cause of the protests,
but Mom had French toast ready.

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How was, uh, therapy?

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-Virtual.
-Yeah.

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Is that why you're out here?

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Making sure that I did it?

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[scoffs] No. I'm here to make sure

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that you're done,
'cause I have something to show you.

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♪ I can tell you all my secrets ♪

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Come on.

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♪ But don't call it a weakness
got my reasons ♪

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-Hey.
-Hey.

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Didn't your shift end a while ago?

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Yeah, I went to check on Mer.

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Still no change.

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She'll get better.

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Just like Jennilyn did.

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You didn't even know Jennilyn.

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She's my favorite ICU nurse.

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It might be my first official day here,

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but she and I-- we go way back.

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[sighs] I'm just glad I didn't miss

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her big post-COVID sendoff.

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She is one of us.

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-[door opens]
-Here she comes!

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Ladies and gentlemen,
Jennilyn's going home!

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-[cheers and applause]
-Whoo!

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-Whoo!
-Alright!

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Whoo!

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♪ Living on my faith ♪

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♪ Living on my faith ♪

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[Owen] Hey, excuse me.

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Hey, did we miss it?

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[Richard] No, you're just in time.

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Ah.

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[Bailey] Six weeks in the hospital.

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Our tenth official discharge this week.

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[Richard] Ah, I remember
the day I hired her.

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I will never get sick of this.

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You okay?

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♪ Living on my faith ♪

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♪ Living on my faith ♪

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That should be Meredith.

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♪ Oh ♪

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♪ Living on my faith ♪

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♪ On my faith ♪

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♪ Living on my faith ♪

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[Levi sighs] I hate ER days.

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Everything's so urgent.

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What are we watching tonight?

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Whatever you want. I'll be with Nico.

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Movie nights are sacred, Levi.

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[scoffs] Movie nights are new
since your sex friend disappeared.

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Don't deprive me of mine.

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I have to talk to Bailey about OB today,

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and I know that Webber told me
everything I need to say,

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but still...Bailey.

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You have to talk to Bailey every day.

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I'll cancel my plans
when you actually do it.

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Hey. Uh, you forgot this.

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Oh, well, uh, could've just
gotten it later.

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Oh, it was kind of in the way.

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Well, it wouldn't be
if you gave me a drawer or something.

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[chuckles]

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Is the sex still good?

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[sighs] It's amazing.

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See how supportive I was of you just now?

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Bye!

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Okay, Felix, and how's
your range of motion been?

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[Felix] It's still stiff when I throw.

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I thought I'd be back to pitch this fall.

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Hey. Teddy hasn't returned my calls.

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Have you talked to anyone
from the hospital?

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'Cause I --

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Sorry. It's just, I had a dream about Mer.

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I'm going. [chuckles]

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[clears throat] Sorry, Felix.

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Um, you know, it's still early days,

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you're only four months post surgery,

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and it was a decent-sized tear.

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This is the last season
to get scouted by a D-1 school.

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Huh.

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[whispering] Why are you still here?

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Right. I'm gone.

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Uh... yeah, Felix, it's gonna
take a little bit more patience.

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It's -- It's gonna be --

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I'm so sorry. Felix, is it?

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Um, a-are you right-handed?

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-Yeah.
-Amelia.

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I know this is weird.
I'm-- I'm a surgeon, too,

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and I just, uh, wanted
to check one thing with you.

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H-Have you noticed that your left arm

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feels stronger
than your right arm recently?

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[Felix] I guess so. Kinda?

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-Why?
-What the hell?

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[keyboard clacks]

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If this is a neurological issue,

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it could end more than just his career

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-if it goes untreated, so I'm --
-[keyboard clacks]

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Hey. I just want to to over a couple
maneuvers with you, okay?

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Okay.

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[Teddy] Meredith's vitals
have been stable for days.

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Her X-rays have shown
a remarkable improvement,

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and her oxygen requirements
have gone down.

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Which is why she should be awake

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for more than two minutes at a time.

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[Monitor beeping]

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Why isn't she?

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What is it?

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Her labs this morning showed
elevated liver enzymes.

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[Teddy] It might just be a side effect
from the medications,

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but we do want to order some new tests.

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[Winston] And we'd also like to get CTs,
both chest and abdomen.

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It might seem extensive, but --

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Well, let's do it.

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We're seeing more and more
patients in the same position.

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It seems like they're finally
out of the woods,

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and then some new problem arises
and they just...

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they just crash.

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We can't let this happen to Meredith.

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[door closes]

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[Meredith] Were you in pain?

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You know, the worst part was knowing
they were getting it wrong.

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I didn't want to leave you,

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but I knew, you know,
at a certain point...

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I came to the hospital.

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I know.

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You could hear?

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Not through my ears.

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Dying is exhausting.

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You know that point as a surgeon...

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you've done everything for your patient.

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I could try and will them to fight,
will them to live,

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but I never understood
the level of exhaustion.

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There comes a point...

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where the desire to rest
overrides the desire to live.

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[seagulls crying]

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You got that.

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You gave me permission to go.

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You told me it was okay.

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You got me.

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You gave me everything I needed
until my last breath.

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[seagulls crying]

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Do you need more time to think about it?

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No.

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Okay.

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And your answer is...

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I just told you. No.

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Bailey -- [sighs]

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I didn't come to this decision lightly,

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and without your recommendation,

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I may have to redo my entire intern year.

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Only if you were changing specialties,

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which you are not doing.

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That is not your decision to make.

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It's not. No. It's yours,

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and you made it when you signed a contract

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as a general surgery attending.

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It's got a few more years on it,
last time I checked.

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Bailey, you can't --

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I-I need this.

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And I need surgeons, Wilson.

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I'm losing them
to, uh, sickness, exhaustion,

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hell, murder, or in Avery's case,

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just suddenly taking a leave of absence.

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Y-You need to think about the hospital.

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I can't afford to lose you right now,

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especially when Meredith...

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Look, we can, um, revisit this topic

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after this thing is over,

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but for right now, my answer is no.

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[sighs]

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Okay. Felix is headed in.

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Mm. Great.

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Uh -- Is he set up for his MRI
in case he beats us there?

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Yes. You know, I would have caught

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-that right-sided deficit.
-Yeah, I know you would have.

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We had just started.
I was focused on the shoulder.

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Yeah, I know you were.

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Not to mention I kept getting distracted.

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All my fault. I got it.

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[chuckles] I'm ready.

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No, we -- we can't leave.
Maggie's not here yet.

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Oh, well, that means you can't,

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but I can, and I should.

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Or, you know, I could call Koracick
and you could stay here.

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Well, this was my find.

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Oh, I'm sorry. You wouldn't
want somebody waltzing in

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-and stealing your patient?
-W--

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Please don't take this from me.

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I have not operated in over a month.

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Oh, and this sudden need
to operate has nothing to do

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with your sister still being unconscious?

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Nope.

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I just really miss cutting.

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-Got it.
-[door opens]

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-Okay.
-I-I'm still coming.

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Hey. Great to see you, Maggie.
Thanks for all the help.

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Um, everybody's eaten.

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Hi?

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[Bailey chuckles]
I take it this is a new hobby?

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[Erika] Should have started
with the plow stop,

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but my kids wanted to learn the moonwalk.

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[grunts]

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I was killing it until I hit that railing.

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[Levi] My mom would never do that.

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-She's a total worry--
-Dr. Schmitt, order tib/fib X-rays

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and page me when they're done, please.

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[Bailey] Okay, Erika, I'd like to do
an abdominal ultrasound.

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Oh. Nice.

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I've lost 50 pounds in Q-tine.

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Check out these abs.

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Damn.

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That railing ate me alive.

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-Yep.
-Oh.

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Okay, let me know if this hurts at all.

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Fifty pounds, huh?

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[Erika] Tech lawyer. Boatloads of money,
but...tech lawyer.

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Sedentary job, sedentary life.

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Then COVID hit,
and I figured, if the world's ending,

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I might as well be happy. [chuckles]

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I was so tired of being tired, you know?

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So, I quit that job that I hated,

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spent time with my kids,

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started working out,

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then I started my own business
making peanut brittle.

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Ooh. Try some.

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Ooh.

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No eating in the hospital.

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Um, so, Erika, it looks like
you have some bleeding

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under your abdominal muscle,

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so we'll need to do a CT
to evaluate how severe it is.

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Alright, page me
when she's ready, Schmitt.

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I won't tell if you won't.

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[bag rustles]

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And I know we've only
technically met on the phone...

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but I'm marrying your sister,

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so how about you wake up

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and give me a "Congratulations"
or something?

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[sniffles]

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I mean, I heard you were tough,

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but I didn't think you were cold.

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[seagulls crying]

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[Meredith] I want you closer.

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[Derek] You're worried about the kids.

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If you get closer...

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I'll never leave.

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I think that's the theory.

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Your dad died when you were young.

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Yes.

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And it almost ruined me.

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But it didn't.

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Kids survive.

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And struggle makes them stronger.

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Sometimes. Sometimes,
it makes them stronger,

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and sometimes, it makes them...

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Amelia.

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[both laugh]

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She's doing great, by the way.

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-I know.
-And she named her baby --

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I know!

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[both laugh]

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-Oh.
-[sighs]

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People love you, Meredith.

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People need you.

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I'm tired.

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Your body's tired.

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But your soul --

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your soul won't even let me near you.

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You're still fighting.

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Have you seen the last...

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one or two years?

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Yeah.

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Was that hard for you?

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It's harder watching you be lonely.

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I want to say you're beautiful,
but it's...shallow.

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Say "pretty on the inside."

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That's what I tell Zola to say.

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"Be pretty on the inside."

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You're pretty on the inside,
Meredith Grey.

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[chuckles]

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-How's Grey?
-Not getting better.

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She won't stay awake,
and her liver enzymes are elevated.

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Any sign of acute infection?

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No, but that doesn't mean anything

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because this stupid disease causes

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every complication in the book

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without any consistency whatsoever.

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Well, it's still relatively new.

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There's information coming out
every day, and --

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Yeah, vague information.

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We have no idea how this disease

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is gonna affect these patients
in the long-term.

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I mean, there could be
permanent lung scarring,

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vascular damage, neurological issues --

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Eh, oh, no, please, keep -- keep going.

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Tom, I didn't -- [sighs]

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-I'm -- I'm sorry.
-[chuckles] That's...

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-I'm sure that you're fine.
-[door opens, closes]

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Alright. [sighs] She's all set.

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Okay. Great. Thanks.

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Tom, I'm sorry. I --

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Hey, Doc, you're just stating facts.
Don't be sorry.

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[door slides shut]

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Okay.

13:21.675 --> 13:22.927
[grunts]

13:27.681 --> 13:28.724
What happened?

13:29.141 --> 13:30.434
[Owen] Carolyn Hexton.

13:30.518 --> 13:31.936
Cardiac arrest.

13:33.187 --> 13:35.773
When I talked with her yesterday,
she didn't even need oxygen.

13:35.856 --> 13:38.359
Yeah, and then she started
having arrhythmias,

13:38.442 --> 13:40.736
and then she went into V-fib.

13:40.820 --> 13:42.071
Thirty-seven years old.

13:42.154 --> 13:43.447
Kindergarten teacher.

13:43.531 --> 13:45.741
She ran 10ks for charity.

13:47.701 --> 13:49.453
I thought she'd be going home this week.

13:49.537 --> 13:50.871
Yeah. So did she.

13:50.955 --> 13:52.122
We all did.

13:53.958 --> 13:56.001
I got to call her family. [sighs]

13:58.754 --> 14:00.506
[sighs]

14:02.091 --> 14:04.051
[breathing shakily]

14:13.686 --> 14:16.355
Hello, Mrs. Hexton. This is Dr. Hunt.

14:18.315 --> 14:19.692
No. No, um...

14:20.609 --> 14:23.112
No. She -- Uh, she's, uh...

14:25.990 --> 14:29.159
Um, there were some complications.

14:29.243 --> 14:31.370
[sniffles]

14:31.495 --> 14:32.538
I'm sorry, Mrs. Hexton.

14:32.621 --> 14:34.665
Could you give me one moment, please?

14:45.926 --> 14:48.304
[woman speaking indistinctly over P.A.]

14:48.387 --> 14:50.014
Please tell me you're not eating in --

14:50.097 --> 14:51.932
I'm not! I'm not!
I'm just, uh -- I'm smelling.

14:52.016 --> 14:53.267
I-I miss smelling things.

14:53.350 --> 14:56.604
Smell things after work
in the comfort of your own home.

14:56.687 --> 14:59.440
My home smells like unwashed laundry.

15:02.651 --> 15:04.069
It's impressive, huh?

15:04.153 --> 15:06.238
Leaving a successful career,

15:06.322 --> 15:07.323
getting in shape,

15:07.406 --> 15:08.449
being there for your family.

15:08.532 --> 15:11.535
She really made lemonade out of, um...

15:12.202 --> 15:14.455
a-a very deadly virus.

15:15.122 --> 15:16.665
Must be nice.

15:17.458 --> 15:19.126
You think she should be doing
something different?

15:19.209 --> 15:23.213
I think if I suddenly started
baking snickerdoodles

15:23.255 --> 15:25.341
and going base jumping,

15:25.424 --> 15:27.843
do me a favor and throw a big net over me.

15:27.927 --> 15:29.511
It's peanut brittle.

15:29.595 --> 15:31.680
It's -- It's actually
a-a lot harder to master

15:31.764 --> 15:32.765
-than snickerdoodles.
-[computer beeping]

15:32.848 --> 15:34.058
Scans are up.

15:34.141 --> 15:36.060
Mm. Mm.

15:36.143 --> 15:38.062
Okay. Deep breaths, buddy.

15:38.145 --> 15:41.690
She told me to drop everything
I was doing and rush to the ER.

15:41.774 --> 15:43.359
-Well, Dr. Shepherd has a tendency...
-[door opens]

15:43.442 --> 15:46.946
...to, uh, raise the stakes
of any situation.

15:47.029 --> 15:48.489
MRI results will be back in a second.

15:48.572 --> 15:51.241
You look worried, and he keeps
telling me I'm gonna be fine.

15:51.325 --> 15:53.702
Dr. Shepherd, baseball is Felix's life.

15:53.786 --> 15:56.372
It's what got him into junior college,
and it's his only hope of getting

15:56.455 --> 15:57.456
into a Division I school.

15:57.539 --> 15:58.624
What would you do if suddenly,

15:58.707 --> 15:59.833
you couldn't be a surgeon anymore?

15:59.917 --> 16:01.418
[door opens]

16:01.502 --> 16:03.754
-You paged Koracick?
-No. Radiology did.

16:03.837 --> 16:05.381
Uh. Be right back.

16:07.049 --> 16:08.968
He has a meningioma, C6, 7.

16:09.051 --> 16:11.053
[Amelia] Let me look at it, please.

16:11.136 --> 16:12.763
That is a nasty little tumor.

16:12.846 --> 16:15.224
We'll have to do an intricate
multi-level decompression.

16:15.307 --> 16:16.934
Start with a wide excision,

16:17.017 --> 16:18.769
but that will destabilize
his cervical spine,

16:18.852 --> 16:19.979
so he'll need hardware.

16:20.062 --> 16:21.271
Forget about his pitching arm.

16:21.355 --> 16:23.190
Any slip, and you risk
making him a paraplegic.

16:23.273 --> 16:25.484
I mean, but there's a lot
going on with your sister

16:25.567 --> 16:26.610
and our lives.

16:26.694 --> 16:28.278
It's been a long time since...

16:28.362 --> 16:30.197
I'm not that rusty, thank you.

16:30.531 --> 16:31.615
You can go, Tom.

16:31.699 --> 16:32.992
Alright, one millimeter off --

16:33.075 --> 16:34.535
I said you can go, Tom.

16:34.618 --> 16:35.786
And, uh, if you want to help me,

16:35.869 --> 16:38.580
you can comfort the patient
while I book an OR.

16:43.168 --> 16:44.336
[Hayes] How we doing today?

16:45.337 --> 16:49.174
Oh, you know,
just thinking about how selfish it is

16:49.258 --> 16:51.051
to follow my dreams.

16:51.135 --> 16:52.970
I meant Luna, but, uh, good to know.

16:53.053 --> 16:54.972
[chuckles] Luna's trending upwards,

16:55.055 --> 16:59.393
so Luna is a bright spot
in a sea of unfettered misery.

16:59.476 --> 17:00.519
What's all this about dreams?

17:00.602 --> 17:03.397
I want to switch to OB,
but Bailey said it's a bad time.

17:03.480 --> 17:05.441
Ah, she's not wrong there.

17:05.524 --> 17:06.692
Thank you.

17:07.276 --> 17:09.903
Listen, everything will sort itself out
once Grey's back on her feet.

17:09.987 --> 17:11.530
If she gets back on her feet.

17:11.613 --> 17:13.282
Well, I thought she was on the mend.

17:13.741 --> 17:14.867
We all did.

17:15.242 --> 17:16.785
Well, how bad is it?

17:17.661 --> 17:20.456
Her liver enzymes
are elevated this morning,

17:20.539 --> 17:21.832
and her creatinine is worse,

17:21.915 --> 17:26.086
so her kidneys could be failing,
and nobody knows why.

17:26.503 --> 17:28.630
God, it's just one thing
after another, isn't it?

17:28.714 --> 17:31.800
This is my way of remembering
that there is more to the world

17:31.884 --> 17:34.678
than just misery and death.

17:34.762 --> 17:36.305
At least, I hope there is.

17:38.724 --> 17:40.434
I'll get out of your way.

17:43.395 --> 17:45.230
[Monitor beeping]

17:47.107 --> 17:49.109
[Richard] Tell me you found something.

17:49.193 --> 17:51.737
[Sighs] Meredith's chest CT was clear.

17:51.820 --> 17:54.198
However, her abdominal CT wasn't.

17:54.281 --> 17:57.367
We found a filling defect
in her IVC and hepatic vein.

17:57.451 --> 17:58.827
And is that clot in her liver?

17:58.911 --> 18:00.746
Yes, which explains
why she can't stay awake.

18:00.829 --> 18:02.706
Her body's fighting a build-up of ammonia.

18:02.790 --> 18:05.959
It's a small clot, but
if we don't treat it quickly,

18:06.043 --> 18:07.419
then there could be fluid build-up,

18:07.503 --> 18:09.546
which will just wreak havoc on her liver.

18:09.630 --> 18:12.382
Can you do, uh, an IR shunt
or thrombolytics, or --

18:12.466 --> 18:14.676
A TIPS procedure should be done
in the IR suite, for sure,

18:14.760 --> 18:16.845
but I don't think I should do it.

18:16.929 --> 18:18.097
Why not?

18:18.180 --> 18:20.057
Because Dr. Altman's here,

18:20.140 --> 18:22.976
and because Dr. Grey is Maggie's sister,

18:23.060 --> 18:26.063
-and if anything --
-Dr. Altman...

18:26.146 --> 18:28.398
are you sure you're up to this?

18:30.192 --> 18:31.318
It's a simple procedure.

18:31.401 --> 18:33.278
I know what it is.

18:33.362 --> 18:34.613
I'm asking, are you --

18:34.696 --> 18:36.323
I will book an IR suite.

18:37.491 --> 18:38.575
Altman...

18:40.828 --> 18:42.162
...are you sure?

18:43.205 --> 18:45.374
Meredith doesn't have time
for this conversation.

18:52.923 --> 18:54.174
-[Monitor beeping]
-[Door closes]

18:54.258 --> 18:55.384
[Owen] Hey.

18:55.467 --> 18:56.885
Webber send you to check in on me?

18:56.969 --> 18:58.387
No. No, he told me what was going on

18:58.470 --> 19:00.347
and asked me if we thought
you were okay to operate.

19:00.430 --> 19:02.766
-And?
-And I told him you were fine to operate

19:02.850 --> 19:05.269
-and there was no one better to do it.
-Thank you.

19:05.352 --> 19:07.437
And I also told him
that if something goes wrong,

19:07.521 --> 19:08.647
either something within your control

19:08.730 --> 19:09.773
or something outside of it,

19:09.857 --> 19:11.191
I'm not sure that you'll recover.

19:11.692 --> 19:13.402
[Monitor beeping]

19:16.238 --> 19:19.074
[Sighs]
I lost a kindergarten teacher today.

19:19.158 --> 19:21.034
I had to call her family.
I broke down on the phone.

19:21.118 --> 19:22.661
I don't know if they knew
that I was crying

19:22.744 --> 19:23.912
or if they thought that I was choking,

19:23.996 --> 19:26.331
but I was pretty much doing both.

19:26.415 --> 19:29.543
Never in my career have I...cried

19:29.626 --> 19:31.295
while delivering news to a family.

19:31.378 --> 19:34.089
It is unprofessional,
and honestly, it is embarrassing.

19:34.173 --> 19:36.550
And after all we saw in the war,
all that loss,

19:36.633 --> 19:39.136
and this kindergarten teacher
that I barely knew

19:39.219 --> 19:41.722
just...broke me.

19:43.557 --> 19:44.933
Because, uh...

19:45.017 --> 19:47.477
-Because COVID.
-Yeah.

19:49.313 --> 19:50.480
You've been through a lot, Teddy,

19:50.564 --> 19:53.609
and you just came back,
and it is Meredith.

19:54.651 --> 19:55.903
If something goes wrong...

19:55.986 --> 19:57.654
I might not recover.

20:01.158 --> 20:03.535
Can you page Dr. Ndugu for me, please?

20:09.791 --> 20:11.293
[Door opens]

20:12.836 --> 20:14.838
[Respirator hissing]

20:14.922 --> 20:17.549
[Monitor beeping]

20:25.849 --> 20:27.184
[Hissing, beeping continue]

20:27.267 --> 20:29.019
[Clicks]

20:29.102 --> 20:32.022
Dr. Shepherd, I've worked
with a lot of neurosurgeons.

20:32.105 --> 20:33.982
None of them were as good as you.

20:34.066 --> 20:35.609
One millimeter in the wrong direction,

20:35.692 --> 20:38.570
and I end this kid's career.

20:38.654 --> 20:39.571
That's what Tom said.

20:39.655 --> 20:40.781
[Link] That is what he said,

20:40.864 --> 20:42.074
and that's what I said.

20:42.157 --> 20:44.826
But you are Amelia Shepherd.

20:46.954 --> 20:48.372
So you got this.

20:48.789 --> 20:51.166
[Hissing, beeping continue]

21:06.390 --> 21:07.766
What's she doing?

21:08.642 --> 21:10.852
She's getting ready to crush it.

21:16.233 --> 21:18.068
[Winston] Did something happen?

21:18.151 --> 21:20.487
-Yeah, you'll be joining me.
-Okay.

21:20.570 --> 21:22.739
[Teddy] She's not just
your family or Maggie's.

21:22.823 --> 21:24.825
She's mine. She's everyone's.

21:24.908 --> 21:26.743
So, she's gonna have two of the finest

21:26.827 --> 21:28.829
cardiovascular surgeons in the country,

21:28.912 --> 21:30.038
and we're not gonna think about

21:30.122 --> 21:31.581
what she means to us or to everyone.

21:31.665 --> 21:34.710
We are gonna help each other do
what we know how to do,

21:34.793 --> 21:37.713
and we will watch each other's every move.

21:37.796 --> 21:40.674
No ego. There's no question
that's too stupid to ask.

21:40.757 --> 21:42.342
It's just about the work,

21:42.426 --> 21:44.970
and we are going to remove this clot.

21:45.053 --> 21:46.263
Deal.

21:46.346 --> 21:47.597
Okay, then.

21:49.349 --> 21:50.392
Here we go.

21:50.475 --> 21:51.852
Ultrasound?

21:56.898 --> 21:58.525
Ellis draws this picture of us.

21:58.608 --> 21:59.776
-I'm in a wedding dress.
-Uh-huh.

21:59.860 --> 22:01.069
And then you're in a suit.

22:01.153 --> 22:03.780
I showed her the Post-it Note,
but she just...

22:03.864 --> 22:05.240
-Hates it.
-Hates it.

22:05.324 --> 22:06.783
-[chuckles]
-She feels robbed.

22:06.867 --> 22:08.285
Well, she gets that from my mother.

22:08.368 --> 22:10.787
[Both laugh]

22:13.457 --> 22:15.375
-♪ Midnight ♪
-Oh.

22:15.459 --> 22:18.462
♪ Downtown ♪

22:18.545 --> 22:19.921
You hate weddings.

22:20.005 --> 22:22.341
I hate weddings.

22:22.424 --> 22:24.843
But I would give this to her if I could.

22:26.720 --> 22:28.472
What do you want me to promise?

22:28.555 --> 22:30.640
To torture yourself less.

22:30.724 --> 22:33.477
♪ Locked up in stables ♪

22:33.560 --> 22:38.732
♪ Where we arrived ♪

22:42.194 --> 22:45.155
♪ It's tangled cables ♪

22:45.238 --> 22:47.324
I don't want to leave the kids.

22:47.407 --> 22:49.242
I don't want you to leave the kids.

22:49.326 --> 22:54.081
♪ Where we unwind ♪

22:58.543 --> 22:59.836
[Knock on door]

23:01.421 --> 23:03.465
[Maggie] Hey, Zola.

23:03.548 --> 23:07.344
Your math teacher said you
signed out of class early today.

23:07.427 --> 23:08.553
Are you okay?

23:10.055 --> 23:13.558
♪ I told you I'm sorry ♪

23:13.850 --> 23:15.560
What's wrong?

23:15.852 --> 23:17.020
I'm mad.

23:17.104 --> 23:19.314
-At someone at school?
-At everything.

23:19.398 --> 23:20.982
-♪ You don't know heartache ♪
-Hm.

23:21.066 --> 23:22.651
♪ Until you know none ♪

23:22.734 --> 23:25.028
Did you see the news, about the protests?

23:25.946 --> 23:27.656
-Yeah.
-Yeah.

23:27.739 --> 23:29.950
When my teachers try to talk about it,

23:30.033 --> 23:32.994
they get really weird
and seem scared to say anything.

23:33.078 --> 23:34.454
That happens.

23:34.538 --> 23:36.832
Do you want to go to a protest?

23:36.915 --> 23:37.999
I could take you.

23:38.083 --> 23:39.751
I don't want to go without my mom.

23:40.293 --> 23:42.254
She'd be mad, too.

23:42.337 --> 23:43.922
But she doesn't even know
what's happening.

23:44.005 --> 23:45.757
She says she works at the best hospital

23:45.841 --> 23:46.925
with the best doctors.

23:47.008 --> 23:48.176
She does. We do.

23:48.260 --> 23:49.886
Then why isn't she home?

23:52.055 --> 23:53.473
You know Dr. Fox?

23:53.890 --> 23:57.519
She told me to try something

23:57.602 --> 23:59.896
when I'm really upset that really helped.

23:59.980 --> 24:01.106
What?

24:01.857 --> 24:02.983
Screaming.

24:03.650 --> 24:04.901
I'm serious.

24:04.985 --> 24:05.986
It'll wake up the baby.

24:06.069 --> 24:08.071
It's okay.
It's time for his bottle anyway.

24:08.155 --> 24:10.240
Come on. Come on.

24:10.740 --> 24:13.910
Okay. Come on. Shake it off. Ready?

24:13.994 --> 24:17.664
-[chuckles]
-One, two, three.

24:17.747 --> 24:22.919
[Both screaming]

24:33.930 --> 24:36.892
Your CT shows what's called
a rectus sheath hematoma.

24:36.975 --> 24:38.018
It's when you have bleeding

24:38.101 --> 24:39.603
under your middle abdominal muscles.

24:39.686 --> 24:41.146
Banged myself up good, didn't I?

24:41.229 --> 24:43.398
[Bailey chuckles] And your
blood counts are a little low,

24:43.482 --> 24:45.400
so we'll need to watch you overnight

24:45.484 --> 24:47.986
to make sure the bleeding
doesn't get worse.

24:48.069 --> 24:49.946
[Nico] Well, your tib/fib
fracture should heal nicely

24:50.030 --> 24:51.448
without surgery, but we're gonna need

24:51.531 --> 24:53.116
to put you in a cast
before you're discharged,

24:53.200 --> 24:54.910
which you'll have to be in
for about six weeks.

24:54.993 --> 24:56.703
Mm, I can make brittle from a chair.

24:57.037 --> 24:58.330
[chuckles]

24:59.289 --> 25:02.250
Must take a lot of peanuts to
make what you made as a lawyer.

25:02.334 --> 25:03.960
I-I'd need a factory for that.

25:04.586 --> 25:06.838
-[chuckles]
-Yeah.

25:06.922 --> 25:09.508
You think I'm crazy, don't you?

25:09.591 --> 25:10.926
I didn't say anything.

25:11.009 --> 25:13.762
There was this poem I read in high school.

25:13.845 --> 25:15.639
This lady stood near a cliff,

25:15.722 --> 25:17.807
afraid to get close to the edge
for a better view

25:17.891 --> 25:20.352
because she thought she might fall.

25:20.435 --> 25:22.521
But then someone pushed her.

25:22.604 --> 25:24.147
Was the poem about murder?

25:24.231 --> 25:26.942
[chuckles] No, because she didn't fall --

25:28.068 --> 25:29.361
she flew.

25:29.444 --> 25:31.446
The cliff was a metaphor --

25:31.530 --> 25:33.573
it's what we're afraid will happen.

25:33.657 --> 25:35.951
There's so much the world tells us we need

25:36.034 --> 25:38.203
that we don't really need.

25:38.286 --> 25:41.289
Couldn't see it until I took the jump --

25:41.373 --> 25:43.416
isssh...

25:43.500 --> 25:45.126
beautiful...

25:45.210 --> 25:47.003
[Speaks indistinctly]

25:47.087 --> 25:48.547
-[Alarm beeping]
-Uh...

25:48.922 --> 25:50.632
-Oh.
-Pulse is thready.

25:52.175 --> 25:54.469
[Bailey] Hematoma's expanding.
She's actively bleeding.

25:54.553 --> 25:55.554
Let's get her to the OR.

25:55.637 --> 25:57.389
[Levi] We're coming up to the OR!

25:57.806 --> 25:59.015
[Groans]

26:05.272 --> 26:06.982
Stent looks patent after the procedure.

26:07.065 --> 26:08.692
And liver enzymes? The creatinine?

26:08.775 --> 26:09.609
Already improving.

26:09.693 --> 26:11.486
Then why isn't she waking up?

26:11.570 --> 26:12.571
It takes time.

26:12.654 --> 26:14.197
We have given her time.
We have given her time,

26:14.281 --> 26:16.157
and every test and every treatment.

26:16.241 --> 26:18.577
We removed that clot
perfectly -- perfectly --

26:18.660 --> 26:19.953
and she's still not waking up,

26:20.036 --> 26:22.080
and she's still not improving,
and she's still not going home.

26:22.163 --> 26:23.123
-Why isn't she?
-Altman, there is --

26:23.206 --> 26:24.124
I'm sorry. I-I can't.

26:24.207 --> 26:25.500
I have to take a walk.

26:31.548 --> 26:33.133
[Bailey] More suction.

26:33.216 --> 26:34.634
[Suction gurgling]

26:34.718 --> 26:38.054
Ah, there's the inferior
epigastric artery. Mm.

26:38.138 --> 26:39.681
Hemostat.

26:39.764 --> 26:42.976
Yeah, looks like she'll live
to skate another day.

26:43.143 --> 26:44.519
2-0 silk.

26:44.603 --> 26:46.896
You know how a pearl is formed, Schmitt?

26:47.647 --> 26:48.773
Should I?

26:49.691 --> 26:55.405
It all starts with one
very irritating grain of sand.

26:55.488 --> 26:57.365
The oyster doesn't like it,

26:57.449 --> 27:00.368
wants to keep its shell pristine.

27:00.452 --> 27:02.370
So, to get rid of the sand,

27:02.454 --> 27:06.416
the oyster coats it with
the inner layer of its shell.

27:06.499 --> 27:09.586
Then we're gonna tie off the
collateral while we're in there.

27:09.669 --> 27:10.920
Good.

27:11.004 --> 27:12.380
Perfect.

27:12.464 --> 27:15.008
But that just makes the sand bigger.

27:15.091 --> 27:16.051
[chuckles]

27:16.134 --> 27:17.844
And even more annoying to the oyster.

27:17.927 --> 27:23.475
So, the oyster just keeps adding
layer after layer,

27:23.558 --> 27:26.603
until...a pearl.

27:26.686 --> 27:27.729
[chuckles]

27:27.812 --> 27:28.772
Lap pads.

27:28.855 --> 27:30.106
So, I'm the sand,

27:30.190 --> 27:33.068
and you're trying to transform me?

27:33.151 --> 27:34.694
The story wasn't about you, Schmitt.

27:34.778 --> 27:36.905
The pandemic is the sand,

27:36.988 --> 27:40.200
and it's pushed its way
into all of our homes,

27:40.367 --> 27:44.454
but it doesn't mean
it has to ruin everything.

27:45.080 --> 27:48.625
Maybe it is an opportunity to transform.

27:48.708 --> 27:51.711
Maybe Erika here has the right idea.

27:51.795 --> 27:53.838
I guess that's what
Jo Wilson's doing, right?

27:54.547 --> 27:57.050
Now, why would you bring up
losing one of my best surgeons

27:57.133 --> 27:59.427
when I just got to my happy place?

27:59.511 --> 28:01.096
[Suction gurgling]

28:01.179 --> 28:02.597
Goodness. [sighs]

28:02.681 --> 28:04.683
[Monitor beeping, respirator hissing]

28:04.766 --> 28:06.476
Goodbye, tumor.

28:07.268 --> 28:09.104
[Koracick] You two
really are co-dependent.

28:09.896 --> 28:10.814
[door closes]

28:10.897 --> 28:12.357
She ask you to chaperone?

28:12.899 --> 28:16.569
[Link] Nope.
Just living vicariously.

28:16.653 --> 28:18.988
-You here to chaperone?
-No.

28:19.739 --> 28:20.699
Don't tell her I said this,

28:20.782 --> 28:22.492
but Shepherd's fun to watch in there.

28:22.575 --> 28:24.494
Elegant, focused, confident.

28:24.577 --> 28:26.329
Pippen to my Jordan.

28:27.414 --> 28:28.790
What do you hear about Meredith?

28:28.873 --> 28:32.669
Uh, I don't. Uh, I...don't.

28:32.752 --> 28:35.130
I largely try to avoid that
entire wing of the hospital

28:35.213 --> 28:38.550
because -- God.

28:38.633 --> 28:40.885
When is it just too much, Lincoln?

28:42.429 --> 28:44.514
When do we get to scream at God?

28:44.597 --> 28:46.015
When do we get to open a bottle of Scotch

28:46.099 --> 28:47.851
and pour him a giant God-sized glass,

28:47.934 --> 28:50.353
push it across the table, and
when he's too drunk to smite us,

28:50.437 --> 28:52.439
just scream...

28:53.857 --> 28:55.942
"What kind of a sick joke is this?"

28:59.279 --> 29:02.115
I don't get how kids still
get cancer during all this.

29:04.451 --> 29:06.619
What kind of a sick joke is this?

29:10.206 --> 29:11.374
Is she awake?

29:11.458 --> 29:12.751
No.

29:13.960 --> 29:15.503
What if we did something wrong?

29:15.587 --> 29:16.546
You didn't.

29:16.629 --> 29:18.006
What if we caused the clot to break off

29:18.089 --> 29:19.799
and now she's having a massive stroke?

29:19.883 --> 29:22.051
[Owen] Teddy, there's nothing that
indicates any of that, okay?

29:22.135 --> 29:23.678
Then why isn't she awake?

29:23.928 --> 29:25.472
[Gasping]

29:26.014 --> 29:27.265
Teddy, breathe, okay?

29:27.348 --> 29:29.017
Just -- Just breathe.

29:29.100 --> 29:30.143
-[Breathing shakily]
-Listen, hold my hand.

29:30.226 --> 29:31.603
Can you feel my hand?

29:32.520 --> 29:34.439
Okay. Just feel that
and just concentrate on that.

29:34.522 --> 29:37.150
Concentrate on the weight
of my hand on your hand.

29:37.233 --> 29:38.735
[Breathing shakily]

29:38.818 --> 29:40.236
Good.

29:41.362 --> 29:43.198
No. No. No.

29:43.281 --> 29:44.240
-Owen, please --
-Teddy, no.

29:44.324 --> 29:46.451
[Breathing shakily]

29:46.534 --> 29:47.577
Listen, I'm here.

29:47.660 --> 29:49.496
I am here with you.

29:49.579 --> 29:50.789
Okay?

29:51.498 --> 29:53.166
But you need to feel this, Teddy.

29:54.125 --> 29:56.711
-Just feel it.
-[Sobbing]

30:10.391 --> 30:12.101
Dr. Webber, maybe you should go.

30:13.019 --> 30:14.938
-Why?
-Because it's only my first day,

30:15.021 --> 30:18.441
and I want to try something that
could very well get me fired.

30:19.359 --> 30:20.443
[Maggie] Absolutely not.

30:20.527 --> 30:22.362
[Richard] Well,
at least hear the man out.

30:22.445 --> 30:24.280
I've heard.

30:24.364 --> 30:26.449
Zola is already traumatized.

30:26.533 --> 30:29.077
I am not bringing her to the hospital.

30:29.160 --> 30:30.787
We need to do something, Maggie.

30:30.870 --> 30:32.789
Hearing her daughter, feeling her?

30:32.872 --> 30:33.706
Maybe it could help.

30:33.790 --> 30:35.917
[Maggie] Winston,
if your mother or my mother

30:36.000 --> 30:37.168
could have stayed and lived,

30:37.252 --> 30:39.003
they would have stayed and lived,

30:39.087 --> 30:41.089
but people don't just decide.

30:41.172 --> 30:42.632
It's not a choice.

30:42.715 --> 30:44.467
Our mothers were terminally ill,

30:44.717 --> 30:46.261
but Meredith...

30:46.344 --> 30:48.513
we have fixed the only thing
we found that was wrong.

30:52.350 --> 30:53.768
It's too much to put on a child.

30:53.852 --> 30:55.478
[Winston] All she'll know is that
she's coming to see her mom,

30:55.562 --> 30:58.690
which she wants to do anyway,
and Meredith's negative now. It's safe.

30:58.773 --> 31:00.525
[Richard] Maggie,
you know good and well

31:00.608 --> 31:03.361
that there is a psychological
component to recovery.

31:03.444 --> 31:04.821
I've seen it again and again.

31:04.904 --> 31:06.114
I have, too.

31:06.197 --> 31:07.991
Well, don't you think
it's at least worth trying?

31:08.074 --> 31:09.492
Maggie, whether it works or it doesn't,

31:09.576 --> 31:11.703
at least Zola gets to see her mom again.

31:15.081 --> 31:16.499
Let me call you back.

31:18.543 --> 31:19.627
Hey.

31:19.878 --> 31:21.045
I want to go.

31:21.129 --> 31:22.714
I want to see Mommy.

31:32.432 --> 31:34.517
[Felix] You got it?

31:34.601 --> 31:35.852
All of it?

31:35.935 --> 31:37.103
All of it.

31:38.146 --> 31:39.606
And my arms?

31:40.440 --> 31:41.774
You show us.

31:42.191 --> 31:44.068
[Monitor beeping]

31:46.112 --> 31:47.488
Oh.

31:50.617 --> 31:52.160
Alright, you get some rest.

31:54.120 --> 31:55.622
[Door opens]

31:55.705 --> 31:57.415
[Amelia] Okay. I need Scout.

31:57.498 --> 31:59.375
I know. We haven't even
been gone that long.

31:59.459 --> 32:01.544
-I miss him, too.
-Ooh, no, my boobs hurt.

32:01.628 --> 32:04.422
I need to nurse or pump.
Or both.

32:04.505 --> 32:06.341
-And let's go.
-Hmm.

32:06.424 --> 32:09.510
[Levi] Bandage is clean
and dry and intact.

32:09.594 --> 32:11.095
No evidence of bleeding.

32:11.179 --> 32:12.221
How's your pain, Erika?

32:12.305 --> 32:13.598
[Erika] Nothing I can't handle.

32:13.681 --> 32:15.391
How long until I can work again?

32:15.475 --> 32:17.644
Well, you'll be back
in brittle business in no time.

32:19.312 --> 32:22.106
[Erika] I meant work-work, not brittle.

32:22.315 --> 32:23.942
At least, if anyone's hiring.

32:24.025 --> 32:25.234
[Bailey] To the job you hate?

32:25.318 --> 32:28.071
[Erika] To the job that keeps me alive
and in one piece,

32:28.154 --> 32:29.739
and keeps my kids fed.

32:29.822 --> 32:31.366
Quarantine was a nice vacation,

32:31.449 --> 32:33.242
but I can't live in the clouds.

32:33.326 --> 32:34.911
I need to be realistic.

32:35.161 --> 32:36.913
God, what was I thinking?

32:37.413 --> 32:39.666
That this world had more to offer.

32:40.875 --> 32:42.335
Oh, Erika.

32:42.418 --> 32:44.128
[Monitor beeping]

32:44.212 --> 32:45.964
You know, that -- that feeling

32:46.047 --> 32:48.049
that you have to keep going
no matter what,

32:48.132 --> 32:50.218
that it's all on your shoulders --

32:50.301 --> 32:55.139
it's something that we're taught as women,

32:55.223 --> 32:56.849
as Black women.

32:56.933 --> 32:58.726
[chuckles] And I'm guilty of it.

32:59.227 --> 33:02.271
And the pressure to keep
this place running? [chuckles]

33:02.355 --> 33:06.067
I never used to [sighs] take any breaks.

33:06.150 --> 33:07.360
I never used to let down my guard.

33:07.443 --> 33:09.904
I never -- I never took breaks.

33:10.863 --> 33:13.116
And then I had a heart attack in my 40s.

33:14.200 --> 33:16.452
"Rest" is not a dirty word.

33:16.536 --> 33:19.497
[Chuckling] Rest is...not laziness,

33:19.580 --> 33:20.581
no matter what you're told

33:20.665 --> 33:22.792
or how many times you're told it.

33:22.875 --> 33:25.503
Rest -- Rest is love.

33:25.670 --> 33:28.881
Rest is peace. [chuckles]

33:29.382 --> 33:33.261
Rest is a beautiful model
for your children.

33:34.178 --> 33:35.513
And I was...

33:36.222 --> 33:40.101
forgetting again until I met you.

33:40.184 --> 33:42.228
♪ Oh, this... ♪

33:42.311 --> 33:44.731
So, don't be too quick
to give up on your joy.

33:44.814 --> 33:45.982
[chuckles]

33:46.065 --> 33:48.693
You can...make it your revolution.

33:48.776 --> 33:50.319
♪ Yeah ♪

33:51.446 --> 33:53.072
♪ Yeah, me ♪

33:54.073 --> 33:56.159
♪ In awe of you now, hmm ♪

33:56.242 --> 33:57.326
Hey.

33:57.410 --> 33:58.411
It's the smallest one that we have.

33:58.494 --> 33:59.370
Who's it for?

33:59.454 --> 34:00.913
The less you know, the better.

34:00.997 --> 34:02.749
♪ This show no... ♪

34:02.832 --> 34:03.791
Eh, and don't worry --

34:03.875 --> 34:05.501
I won't tell anyone it's from you.

34:05.585 --> 34:06.961
Fine with me if you do.

34:07.045 --> 34:08.379
♪ Lifting my spirit like a Holy Ghost ♪

34:08.463 --> 34:10.131
♪ All this ♪

34:10.214 --> 34:11.466
♪ All this love, love ♪

34:11.549 --> 34:13.301
♪ No ordinary love ♪

34:13.384 --> 34:16.554
♪ Ordinary love ♪

34:17.346 --> 34:19.223
♪ Yeah ♪

34:20.725 --> 34:23.186
♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

34:23.269 --> 34:26.355
♪ Ah-ah, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

34:26.439 --> 34:29.025
♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la-la ♪

34:29.108 --> 34:32.028
♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

34:32.111 --> 34:34.614
♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

34:34.697 --> 34:37.533
♪ Ah-ah, la, la, la, la-la-la-la ♪

34:37.617 --> 34:40.787
♪ La, la, la, la, la-la-la-la-la ♪

34:40.870 --> 34:43.539
♪ La-la, la-la, la-la, la-la ♪

34:52.924 --> 34:56.427
♪ I need you in my arms ♪

34:56.511 --> 34:58.179
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

34:59.972 --> 35:01.641
♪ Yeah ♪

35:01.724 --> 35:02.934
Now, go on.

35:03.017 --> 35:04.727
She's waiting for you.

35:04.811 --> 35:07.313
Hey, if you change your mind,
it's alright.

35:07.396 --> 35:08.815
It's okay if you're scared.

35:08.940 --> 35:12.318
♪ No ordinary love ♪

35:12.401 --> 35:13.820
Mommy?

35:13.903 --> 35:15.363
♪ Yeah ♪

35:16.364 --> 35:17.657
It -- It's me.

35:17.740 --> 35:18.699
♪ Your kiss ♪

35:18.783 --> 35:19.909
I'm here.

35:19.992 --> 35:21.536
♪ A sky full... ♪

35:21.619 --> 35:22.537
It's Zozo.

35:22.620 --> 35:24.997
♪ ...of stars ♪

35:25.081 --> 35:26.457
♪ Hmm ♪

35:26.541 --> 35:28.084
I miss you so much.

35:28.167 --> 35:29.585
♪ No ordinary love ♪

35:33.422 --> 35:35.007
♪ Yeah ♪

35:37.677 --> 35:39.011
[Knock on door]

35:39.095 --> 35:40.847
I got your page.

35:41.931 --> 35:43.891
My answer is no.

35:44.350 --> 35:47.061
Did you forget
that you already told me that?

35:47.145 --> 35:50.857
[Bailey] No. I will not
be making you keep a job

35:50.940 --> 35:52.567
that no longer fulfills you.

35:52.650 --> 35:55.611
What about all of the --
the surgeons that you're losing?

35:55.695 --> 35:57.238
Do you want me to change my mind?

35:57.321 --> 35:58.322
[Chuckling] No.

35:58.406 --> 36:00.700
Look, all non-emergency surgeries

36:00.783 --> 36:02.410
are non-existent anymore,

36:02.493 --> 36:05.788
and if I have to hire
a new general surgeon,

36:05.872 --> 36:07.999
I will, but that's not your problem.

36:08.082 --> 36:10.501
-That's mine.
-I will help you find anyone to --

36:10.585 --> 36:12.461
[Breathes sharply] Eh...

36:13.004 --> 36:14.672
Thank you. Thank you.

36:14.755 --> 36:16.883
Just love it, Wilson.

36:16.966 --> 36:20.219
Love it with every part of you.

36:20.928 --> 36:23.055
[sighs]

36:27.101 --> 36:28.186
Hey.

36:28.269 --> 36:30.271
How's the, uh, peanut brittle woman doing?

36:30.354 --> 36:31.981
Heard you had to rush her into surgery.

36:32.064 --> 36:35.151
Nico, I think you're standing
on a cliff and you're scared.

36:35.234 --> 36:38.237
Sounds a little crazy because
you're never scared of anything,

36:38.321 --> 36:41.616
but me having a little space
in your apartment --

36:41.949 --> 36:43.826
it's not the end of the world.

36:43.910 --> 36:45.661
Doesn't mean I'll never leave.

36:45.745 --> 36:48.497
[Chuckling] It doesn't mean
that we're getting married.

36:48.581 --> 36:51.459
It just -- It means
that you're carving out

36:51.542 --> 36:53.628
a small amount of room for me.

36:55.338 --> 36:56.547
Huh.

36:56.631 --> 36:58.257
Well, move in with me.

36:59.926 --> 37:02.136
You're right. I guard
my own space out of habit

37:02.220 --> 37:05.806
because it makes me feels safe,
but [scoffs] safe from what?

37:05.890 --> 37:07.892
[Chuckling] You?

37:07.975 --> 37:10.269
I love you, Levi.

37:11.187 --> 37:12.772
So just...

37:12.855 --> 37:13.898
move in with me.

37:15.191 --> 37:17.902
Oh, I just -- I just remembered
I can't come over tonight.

37:17.985 --> 37:20.696
Jo is really sad about Jackson leaving.

37:20.780 --> 37:21.906
She is? What?

37:21.989 --> 37:24.492
Yeah, and I-I promised her
that I'd hang out.

37:24.575 --> 37:26.661
But...great talk.

37:26.744 --> 37:27.536
Levi!

37:27.620 --> 37:28.537
See you tomorrow.

37:28.621 --> 37:30.122
[chuckles]

37:30.206 --> 37:31.207
-Hey.
-Hey.

37:31.290 --> 37:33.542
Oh! Oh! Oh! Bailey said yes!

37:33.626 --> 37:35.169
-Great. What are we watching?
-[Laughs]

37:35.253 --> 37:36.671
Wait, what happened to Nico night?

37:36.754 --> 37:38.339
-Oh, he's, uh --
-He's standing right over there.

37:38.422 --> 37:40.341
Yeah, yeah.
I said, "What are we watching?"

37:40.424 --> 37:42.260
[Laughs nervously]

37:45.763 --> 37:47.765
Whoa! Easy there, kiddos!

37:47.848 --> 37:49.100
-[Link] Oh, alright.
-[door closes]

37:49.183 --> 37:51.102
Yeah. Cool fort.

37:51.185 --> 37:52.520
You got room for one more?

37:52.603 --> 37:54.021
What's the password?

37:54.105 --> 37:55.982
-Uh... Rainbow Donkey?
-[both] Nope!

37:56.065 --> 37:57.233
I'm gonna go check on Scout.

37:57.316 --> 37:58.567
[Maureen] He just ate.

37:58.651 --> 38:01.112
Little thing was out in about 10 seconds.

38:02.488 --> 38:04.407
I'm sorry, was I supposed to keep him up?

38:04.490 --> 38:06.075
Uh, Mom? What -- What are you doing here?

38:06.158 --> 38:07.702
Did Zola wake up Mommy?

38:07.785 --> 38:10.788
What? She went to try and wake up Mommy.

38:12.123 --> 38:14.083
Did something happen with Meredith?

38:28.139 --> 38:30.057
No change in her mentation.

38:30.975 --> 38:32.018
[Winston] Sorry.

38:32.101 --> 38:33.311
Well, it's something.

38:33.936 --> 38:35.813
And no matter what happens,

38:35.896 --> 38:37.231
you did something,

38:37.356 --> 38:38.858
and I'm grateful.

38:38.941 --> 38:40.526
I want her to live.

38:42.820 --> 38:44.238
I haven't met her yet.

38:45.156 --> 38:46.240
And she's...

38:46.657 --> 38:48.868
she's not just Maggie's sister.

38:50.161 --> 38:52.204
She's Dr. Meredith Grey.

38:53.039 --> 38:55.499
So she lives, right?

38:56.042 --> 38:57.793
Please God.

38:59.211 --> 39:00.504
Please God.

39:00.588 --> 39:03.049
[Meredith] Those moments,
when everything fades away,

39:03.132 --> 39:05.259
you're at your best.

39:06.344 --> 39:08.054
♪ I can feel warmth on my skin ♪

39:08.137 --> 39:10.890
But there's a problem with
disappearing into the work --

39:11.974 --> 39:13.559
you can't save every patient.

39:13.642 --> 39:15.519
[Maggie] It was Richard
and Winston's idea.

39:15.770 --> 39:16.854
What?

39:16.937 --> 39:19.815
♪ The winds are changing ♪

39:19.899 --> 39:21.067
♪ The whispers of the angels ♪

39:21.150 --> 39:23.027
It's a good idea.

39:23.903 --> 39:26.030
And when I was checking Ellis' homework,

39:26.113 --> 39:28.032
she was actually doing pretty well.

39:28.741 --> 39:30.201
I'm scared.

39:30.284 --> 39:31.452
[Zola speaking indistinctly]

39:31.535 --> 39:32.787
[Bailey] Me, too.

39:32.870 --> 39:34.872
I need this year to get better.

39:35.247 --> 39:37.166
[Sniffles] Me, too.

39:37.249 --> 39:40.419
♪ The darkness won't hurt us any longer ♪

39:40.503 --> 39:41.670
[Amelia] What happened? Is she okay?

39:41.754 --> 39:43.422
Yes. Yeah, she's the same.

39:43.506 --> 39:45.132
What?

39:45.216 --> 39:46.467
Why -- Why'd you bring Zola?

39:46.550 --> 39:47.968
I couldn't think of a better idea.

39:48.469 --> 39:49.929
Oh, my God.

39:50.846 --> 39:51.931
I can't breathe.

39:52.014 --> 39:53.557
[Bailey speaks indistinctly]

39:53.641 --> 39:54.725
♪ I'm ready ♪

39:54.809 --> 39:56.769
I'm so sorry. I-I should've told you.

39:56.852 --> 39:58.396
You were in surgery.

39:58.896 --> 39:59.814
I need her to live.

39:59.897 --> 40:01.190
♪ Yeah, yeah ♪

40:01.273 --> 40:02.858
I need her to live.

40:06.737 --> 40:07.947
Oh, my God.

40:08.030 --> 40:09.156
Please, I need her to live.

40:09.240 --> 40:10.533
[Richard] What? Did something
happen? What?

40:10.616 --> 40:12.368
-Shh.
-Uh --

40:12.451 --> 40:13.661
[Bailey] All of it.

40:13.953 --> 40:16.872
Just all of it just... [Breathes deeply]

40:16.956 --> 40:19.083
All of it happened.

40:19.834 --> 40:21.836
And if surgery is all you have,

40:22.211 --> 40:23.546
no matter how great you are,

40:23.629 --> 40:25.840
eventually, you're going to disintegrate.

40:25.923 --> 40:27.383
[Seagulls calling]

40:32.179 --> 40:33.639
It's not time yet.

40:35.766 --> 40:37.226
There's no pain here.

40:37.309 --> 40:38.561
Mm.

40:38.644 --> 40:40.396
You want to know a secret?

40:43.399 --> 40:45.151
I even miss the pain.

40:51.949 --> 40:53.159
[Vocalizing]

40:53.242 --> 40:55.453
You have to go.

40:57.037 --> 40:58.914
I'm so tired.

40:59.331 --> 41:01.000
It's not your time yet.

41:01.083 --> 41:03.586
♪ Falling in, falling in,
don't want to get out ♪

41:03.669 --> 41:05.087
Our kids need you.

41:05.171 --> 41:06.380
[Zola speaking indistinctly]

41:06.464 --> 41:08.048
♪ Down, down, down, down the river ♪

41:08.132 --> 41:09.675
You have to go.

41:09.758 --> 41:12.386
[Zola] Mom, Ellis keeps coming
into my bed at night,

41:12.470 --> 41:15.389
the way I would come into yours.

41:15.473 --> 41:17.933
At first, I thought it was annoying,

41:18.017 --> 41:22.104
but now, I tell her she can come
in my bed whenever she wants.

41:22.354 --> 41:26.066
And sometimes, I let Bailey come in, too.

41:26.150 --> 41:28.986
But he sleeps on pillows on the floor,

41:29.069 --> 41:31.197
but I always cover him with a blanket.

41:31.280 --> 41:32.907
♪ I'm ready ♪

41:32.990 --> 41:34.783
That's so nice of you, Zozo.

41:35.326 --> 41:36.410
Mommy!

41:37.912 --> 41:40.122
♪ Oh ♪

41:40.206 --> 41:41.040
Hi.

41:41.123 --> 41:42.249
♪ I'm ready ♪

41:46.420 --> 41:51.175
♪ Yes, I'm, yes, I'm ready ♪

41:53.594 --> 41:56.388
[Meredith] As nice as it is
to lose all your worries,

41:56.472 --> 41:58.474
you also lose the good.

41:59.433 --> 42:01.143
[Zola] I love you so much, Mommy.

42:01.227 --> 42:03.646
We love you so much.

42:03.729 --> 42:06.273
We love you so much.

42:06.565 --> 42:08.567
You're awake.

42:09.026 --> 42:11.779
♪ Ah ♪

42:11.862 --> 42:13.322
♪ I'm ready ♪

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[Meredith] And if you hope to have any
kind of life worth living...

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We love you, Zozo.

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...you're definitely
going to need the good.

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♪ I'm ready ♪

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[Theme music playing]