WEBVTT 00:04.921 --> 00:08.133 [Meredith] Surgeons like to believe they’re the center of the universe. 00:08.341 --> 00:11.428 That their million dollar hands are the only thing that matters. 00:12.637 --> 00:16.558 I don't know how you do the thing you just did... 00:16.641 --> 00:21.813 -[Richard chuckles] -...but it... was... spectacular. 00:21.896 --> 00:25.567 Mm-hmm! Well, I gotta give you a reason to keep me around. 00:26.484 --> 00:31.156 Maybe tonight I might just return the favor. 00:31.239 --> 00:35.577 Oh? Maybe sooner than that. Hm? 00:35.660 --> 00:40.040 Richard Webber. Are you still on that? Come on. I already told you no. 00:40.123 --> 00:42.042 Well, maybe it's time to reconsider. 00:42.125 --> 00:45.712 -What if something goes wrong, baby? -Trust me. 00:45.795 --> 00:47.964 [music playing] 00:48.715 --> 00:53.720 [Meredith] You only need a scalpel and the patient to use it on. No one else. 00:53.803 --> 00:55.847 -[banging on door] -I used to believe it, too. 00:56.639 --> 00:58.683 -[Taryn] Levi! -Um, I'll be right there! 00:58.850 --> 00:59.893 [Taryn] Check your phone! 00:59.976 --> 01:01.436 [Meredith] But that was before I had kids. 01:01.519 --> 01:03.396 Oh, my God. 01:03.563 --> 01:05.482 -Oh, my God! -[Nico] What? 01:05.648 --> 01:08.276 Webber's back as residency director, officially. 01:08.443 --> 01:09.444 What happened to Grey? 01:09.611 --> 01:12.989 Uh, it says she'll be splitting her time between doing surgery and research. 01:13.156 --> 01:14.991 -[Taryn] Levi! -[bangs on door] 01:15.075 --> 01:19.579 It also says we were supposed to be in the skills lab 15 minutes ago! 01:19.662 --> 01:22.457 -[pounding on door] -Dude, I'm coming! 01:23.208 --> 01:24.918 [music playing] 01:26.169 --> 01:28.379 -[sighs] -What? 01:30.173 --> 01:31.549 [Meredith] Truth is, 01:31.716 --> 01:35.261 from the time your patient first gets sick to the time they're lying on your table... 01:35.428 --> 01:36.971 -Hey. -Hey. 01:37.138 --> 01:38.723 [Amelia] I thought you were leaving early this morning. 01:38.890 --> 01:40.850 She started seizing when I was on my way to the airport. 01:40.934 --> 01:43.019 So I hit her with lorazepam, phenobarbital, 01:43.186 --> 01:44.604 put her in an induced coma. 01:44.771 --> 01:49.984 And now I need a world-class neurosurgeon to help me figure out 01:50.068 --> 01:53.780 why my landmark transplant patient is circling the drain. 01:54.531 --> 01:58.660 [Meredith] ...a team of internists, specialists, and nurses 01:58.743 --> 02:01.913 have already interacted with that patient more than you ever will. 02:03.623 --> 02:05.250 I was starting to think you weren't gonna show up. 02:05.333 --> 02:07.710 [sighs] I almost didn't. Can't stand the whining. 02:07.794 --> 02:10.839 [chuckles] We don't have to stay long. Is that Roy? 02:11.005 --> 02:14.509 When you write these testimonials, I want you to lay it all out on the table. 02:14.592 --> 02:17.679 I want to know every diagnosis, every symptom. 02:17.846 --> 02:20.723 Did you lose 40 pounds? Are you sweating through your sheets? 02:20.890 --> 02:23.768 Explosive diarrhea? Do not hold back. 02:23.852 --> 02:24.853 Testimonials? 02:24.936 --> 02:27.897 Roy's headed to Washington next month to lobby. Won't shut up about it. 02:27.981 --> 02:31.484 We gotta do to the VA what Barb Simmons did to me in the fourth grade 02:31.651 --> 02:32.735 when I was hanging on the monkey bars, 02:32.819 --> 02:35.321 [coughs] pull their shorts down. Expose them. 02:35.405 --> 02:36.781 -[crowd laughs] -Bastards. 02:39.284 --> 02:42.412 No, it couldn't be... [coughs] 02:47.167 --> 02:49.544 -Sergeant. -Colonel. 02:49.711 --> 02:52.130 Thought you said you'd never be caught dead at one of these. 02:52.213 --> 02:55.008 Anyone's dying, it's you, old man. 02:55.425 --> 02:59.012 -[laughs] Yeah. -It's good to see you, man. 02:59.179 --> 03:01.014 Good to see you. You look good. 03:01.181 --> 03:03.224 Roy, I want to introduce you to Major... 03:03.391 --> 03:06.936 -Owen Hunt. Army trauma surgeon. -Welcome. 03:07.103 --> 03:09.856 And what delightful disease have you been blessed with? 03:09.939 --> 03:11.191 None, fortunately. 03:11.274 --> 03:14.068 Um, I'm here because I'm hoping we might be able to work together. 03:14.152 --> 03:19.240 I'm starting a study to prove the link between burn pits and your illnesses, 03:19.324 --> 03:21.743 -so the VA will have automatically-- -You okay? 03:21.826 --> 03:24.037 -Roy! -Roy? Roy! 03:24.204 --> 03:25.872 -Roy, Roy! -[groans] 03:26.039 --> 03:27.874 Put him on his side. Call 911! 03:35.590 --> 03:38.134 [baby crying] 03:38.218 --> 03:40.678 -Is she okay? -Eh, teething. 03:40.845 --> 03:42.555 In that case, are you okay? 03:42.722 --> 03:46.100 I haven't slept, all I've eaten is a handful of cereal... 03:46.184 --> 03:48.186 No, no, no! And I'm late for work. 03:48.269 --> 03:50.480 Sorry I asked. 03:50.563 --> 03:51.689 -Thank you. -Okay. 03:51.773 --> 03:55.193 I knew how to be alone. But now I'm alone with Luna. 03:55.360 --> 03:59.030 I'm responsible for her life. I'm so tired, I could drop dead. 03:59.197 --> 04:00.448 Tough stuff, being a single parent. 04:00.531 --> 04:03.243 You don't happen to have any teething tips, do you? 04:03.409 --> 04:05.703 At this point, I would try ritual sacrifice. 04:05.870 --> 04:08.915 -Earplugs? -Hey! Help! I need some help! 04:08.998 --> 04:12.710 -[groans] I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! -I-- I don't know what's wrong with her! 04:12.877 --> 04:15.505 She just started screaming and breathing and... 04:15.588 --> 04:18.049 -Are you in labor? -I'm not due for a couple more weeks. 04:18.132 --> 04:21.052 -Okay. -You're pregnant? Is it mine? 04:21.135 --> 04:23.471 We've been together for four weeks. How would it be yours? 04:23.554 --> 04:25.974 -I'm gonna page OB. -Oh, I am OB. Here. 04:26.057 --> 04:28.768 Can you, um, take her to daycare for me? Okay, bye, baby. 04:28.851 --> 04:30.436 -Gladly. -Okay, um... 04:30.520 --> 04:33.356 -Go inside and ask for a wheelchair. -[Cormac] Hello, remember me? 04:33.523 --> 04:34.899 -Now, now! -[man] Okay. 04:34.983 --> 04:35.942 [woman crys] 04:36.025 --> 04:39.153 Hi. Congratulations. You're doing great. Okay, deep breath. 04:41.281 --> 04:44.534 Grey! Thought you'd be settled in Minnesota by now. 04:44.617 --> 04:47.662 [laughs] I leave later on this evening. 04:47.829 --> 04:49.872 And I'm only going for a couple of days a week. 04:49.956 --> 04:52.375 -Hm. -And I'm still your chief of general. 04:52.458 --> 04:56.337 As long as you credit Grey Sloan when you save humanity, you do you. 04:56.421 --> 05:00.758 What I want to know is why Webber paged us to the skills lab. 05:00.925 --> 05:02.844 -And cleared my whole schedule. -You too? 05:02.927 --> 05:05.596 -Yes. -I don't know who approved this, 05:05.680 --> 05:07.598 -but it sure wasn't-- -I did. 05:07.765 --> 05:08.850 [Meredith] Would you like to tell us why? 05:08.933 --> 05:09.851 [Richard] It's a big day. 05:10.018 --> 05:13.146 Not only is it my first official day back as residency director, 05:13.313 --> 05:17.358 I'm debuting a new teaching method. And the two of you are gonna help me. 05:17.442 --> 05:18.359 -Uh-- -[Richard] Come on. 05:20.945 --> 05:23.865 All right. Attention, everyone. 05:24.032 --> 05:28.328 Today is gonna be a day that you will remember for the rest of your careers. 05:28.411 --> 05:31.414 Each one of you is gonna perform a lap chole. 05:31.581 --> 05:35.752 Start to finish. On your own. 05:35.918 --> 05:39.339 -Today, you will be attendings. -What? 05:39.422 --> 05:40.798 Oh, my God! 05:42.008 --> 05:45.553 -He's serious. -Welcome to the Webber Method. 05:45.803 --> 05:47.263 [all cheering] 05:47.972 --> 05:49.891 -[Bailey] I take it back. -What? 05:49.974 --> 05:53.186 You can't go to Minnesota. This man's lost his damned mind. 05:59.567 --> 06:03.154 -Hunt, what's going on? -Roy Davis, 60, experienced syncope 06:03.237 --> 06:06.616 after an episode of hemoptysis. BP's 160 over 100 and he's tachycardic. 06:06.699 --> 06:08.451 We need chest films ASAP. 06:08.534 --> 06:09.952 -Roy. -They won't show anything good, 06:10.036 --> 06:12.121 -I can promise you that. -Roy, I'm here. 06:12.205 --> 06:14.624 He has the same thing I have. Pulmonary fibrosis. More advanced. 06:14.791 --> 06:17.502 Listen. I know you'd rather chew gravel than hang out here-- 06:17.585 --> 06:19.128 -I'm staying. -Trauma One's open. 06:19.212 --> 06:20.421 [Owen] Okay, let's get him inside! 06:20.588 --> 06:23.424 You stay in the lobby, I'll update you as soon as I can. Okay? 06:23.508 --> 06:24.509 [coughs] 06:25.760 --> 06:26.636 [Niki groans] 06:26.719 --> 06:29.972 Niki, you are five centimeters dilated and having this baby today. 06:30.139 --> 06:33.017 -Congratulations. -But it's too early. I'm not ready. 06:33.184 --> 06:35.228 [stammers] And today's our one-month anniversary. 06:35.311 --> 06:37.313 Wow. It's a special day all around. 06:37.397 --> 06:39.148 -Who's the dad? -No dad. Just a hook-up. 06:39.315 --> 06:42.944 We had sex. A lot of sex. I had a lot of sex with a pregnant woman. 06:43.027 --> 06:44.153 It works just the same. 06:44.237 --> 06:47.740 Okay, but, like, I'm pretty sure that's outside of my moral code. 06:47.907 --> 06:50.076 -Why didn't you tell me? -Look at me, I thought you knew! 06:50.159 --> 06:52.495 -I just thought you were-- -Okay. Uh, Dustin, right? 06:52.662 --> 06:54.664 Niki is in good hands. Why don't you take a breather. 06:54.831 --> 06:58.626 Go find some ice chips. For her. Not you. 06:58.793 --> 07:00.211 [groans] 07:00.461 --> 07:02.839 -Niki, are you okay? -My chest really hurts. 07:02.922 --> 07:05.007 Okay. Wilson, let's get an EKG and vitals. 07:05.091 --> 07:07.009 -Right. -Breathe. 07:09.595 --> 07:12.598 This system of concurrent surgeries will allow us 07:12.765 --> 07:15.601 to put experienced residents in the ORs as leads, 07:15.685 --> 07:19.021 and then attendings can rotate in and out for maximum efficiency. 07:19.105 --> 07:21.607 -I don't like it. -If you look here, 07:21.691 --> 07:24.444 the average lap chole lasts 45 minutes. 07:24.527 --> 07:26.487 But the most critical part only lasts... 07:26.571 --> 07:28.656 -Five to ten. -Exactly. Which means, 07:28.823 --> 07:31.242 if each attending rotates according to this schedule, 07:31.325 --> 07:35.413 -we can be in each and every OR... -Precisely the moment we need to be. 07:35.496 --> 07:37.582 -Yes. -I still don't like it. 07:37.665 --> 07:42.128 Bailey, this is the answer to our biggest challenge right now. 07:42.211 --> 07:44.797 The physician shortage. And it's lap choles. 07:44.881 --> 07:46.632 It's not transplants or Whipples. 07:46.716 --> 07:50.678 Look, this generation of residents, they don't have a thousand hours 07:50.761 --> 07:53.431 to watch us operate while we work them to the bone. 07:53.514 --> 07:56.684 They want to work smarter, not harder. And who would blame them? 07:56.767 --> 08:01.522 I don't need generation education. I need patients not to die. 08:01.606 --> 08:03.900 I've been saying for a long time that we need to get the residents 08:03.983 --> 08:05.443 out of the lab and into the OR. 08:05.526 --> 08:06.402 I... 08:06.986 --> 08:09.697 What do you say, Bailey? You ready to do 12 lap choles today? 08:11.157 --> 08:13.868 The system only works with three attendings. 08:13.951 --> 08:15.953 We all have to be on board. 08:17.914 --> 08:19.540 God help us. Fine. Let's do it. 08:20.374 --> 08:22.752 -You won't regret it. Okay. -Let's not go that far. 08:22.835 --> 08:24.086 [Richard laughs] 08:24.170 --> 08:26.255 [indistinct PA announcement] 08:29.842 --> 08:33.638 Hayes. Hey. Do you have a quick second for a pediatric consult? 08:33.721 --> 08:35.973 For Grey's award-winning abdomen? Sure. 08:36.057 --> 08:40.311 Hm. 14-year-old kid, plays soccer in the park near our hotel. 08:40.394 --> 08:42.813 Uh, seemed to be getting extra winded the other day. 08:42.897 --> 08:46.025 Um, his ankles look a little swollen. Is that... is that anything? 08:46.108 --> 08:49.362 [sighs] Could be. Or not. 08:49.445 --> 08:52.365 I'm sorry, I'd have to examine him myself to tell you anything more definitive. 08:52.448 --> 08:54.200 I was afraid you'd say that. 08:58.079 --> 09:01.249 [Roy] So how'd you meet Noah? He avoids doctors like the plague. 09:01.332 --> 09:03.084 I treated him and his son recently. 09:03.167 --> 09:08.798 Ah, the accident. [coughs] That tree will never be the same. Or the car. 09:08.881 --> 09:11.634 Noah's the closest thing I have to a son. 09:12.677 --> 09:17.014 Met him when he was a pimple-faced recruit whose voice had barely dropped 09:17.098 --> 09:21.852 and watched him grow up, get married... [clears throat] have Danny. 09:21.936 --> 09:25.648 -Have you met Heather yet? His wife? -No, not yet. 09:25.731 --> 09:29.277 I love Noah, but he punched above his weight on that one. 09:30.152 --> 09:31.988 -[beeping] -Scans are up. 09:34.448 --> 09:38.160 Damn it. See that nodule there? Lung cancer. 09:38.327 --> 09:41.664 Probably an early stage, but since he's also got pulmonary fibrosis... 09:41.831 --> 09:43.666 Might as well be terminal. 09:44.458 --> 09:46.919 All because the US military couldn't be bothered 09:47.086 --> 09:50.214 -to properly dispose of its trash. -[Roy] Lot of silence out there. 09:50.298 --> 09:51.591 Must be good news, huh? 09:55.845 --> 09:59.390 CT's negative, labs look good. She has no history of seizures? 09:59.473 --> 10:01.517 You don't think I would have told you if there was a history of seizures? 10:01.601 --> 10:03.894 -No family history? -Same answer. 10:03.978 --> 10:06.063 Okay, but it is my job to ask the questions. 10:06.147 --> 10:08.024 I get that, but maybe just ask smarter questions. 10:09.233 --> 10:11.193 -Are you okay? -No. I'm not the patient. 10:11.360 --> 10:13.154 Ask smarter questions about my patient. 10:13.237 --> 10:15.406 -Addie-- -No. Just no, no, no. 10:15.573 --> 10:17.992 I'm Dr. Montgomery, you are Dr. Shepherd, 10:18.075 --> 10:20.578 and we are fixing this woman who's lost so many pregnancies 10:20.745 --> 10:23.080 and then lost her husband. We are fixing this woman 10:23.164 --> 10:26.584 whose sisters literally begged her not to participate in my clinical trial 10:26.667 --> 10:28.753 because they were so afraid of losing her too. 10:28.836 --> 10:32.757 We are fixing this woman, Dr. Shepherd. 10:32.840 --> 10:34.967 And ideally, we are going to fix her without having to remove 10:35.134 --> 10:38.220 the donor uterus, setting my study all the way back. 10:40.264 --> 10:42.933 Okay, Dr. Montgomery. I need an MRI. 10:43.100 --> 10:45.853 And because she was in status, let's get an EEG. 10:46.020 --> 10:49.315 And re-run her electrolyte panel and her immunosuppressant levels. 10:49.398 --> 10:51.734 That sounds like an excellent plan. 10:51.817 --> 10:52.902 Mm-hmm. 10:54.195 --> 10:56.947 -[Megan] Hi. -Back so soon? 10:57.031 --> 11:00.618 That patient I told you about, he's here. Exam room four. 11:00.701 --> 11:04.205 That was fast. A little too fast. 11:04.288 --> 11:06.999 Just make sure you talk to him like a doctor. 11:07.166 --> 11:08.668 -I am a doctor. -Be straight with him. 11:08.834 --> 11:11.003 -With both of us. Okay? -Okay. 11:12.505 --> 11:16.092 Dr. Hayes, this is my son, Farouk. 11:16.175 --> 11:17.468 Hi. 11:31.148 --> 11:33.984 -[Meredith] Are you... -Praying. Yes. 11:34.402 --> 11:39.115 -It's going to be okay, Bailey. -These are human beings. 11:39.198 --> 11:44.078 These are human beings with children and parents and sisters and brothers. 11:44.161 --> 11:48.791 And we are putting their bodies, their lives in the hands of... children. 11:48.874 --> 11:51.711 -But they're not children. -They look like children. 11:51.877 --> 11:54.922 -With scalpels. -So did we once. 11:55.089 --> 11:57.633 [music playing] 12:01.721 --> 12:04.140 [Levi] You've done this before, right? In Pakistan? 12:04.306 --> 12:07.017 -Years ago. Many years ago. -Scalpel. 12:16.694 --> 12:19.655 -What are you doing? -I saw Shepherd do it once. 12:21.157 --> 12:22.116 Scalpel. 12:24.910 --> 12:26.036 Scalpel. 13:15.377 --> 13:18.923 Hey, doctor. Um, can you give this to Niki? 13:19.006 --> 13:23.260 She asked me to charge it, and so it's charged. Here. 13:23.344 --> 13:25.930 Oh, come on, you're leaving? 13:26.680 --> 13:30.017 You can't just hold her hand for a few hours so she doesn't give birth alone? 13:30.100 --> 13:32.686 We matched online a month ago. 13:32.770 --> 13:34.271 I'm not a bad guy. 13:34.355 --> 13:37.191 I work at the Post Office, I live in a studio apartment. 13:37.274 --> 13:40.820 I'm not ready to be a dad. And she lied to me. 13:41.737 --> 13:44.573 I mean, don't you think this was a pretty big lie? 13:45.950 --> 13:47.743 [sighs] Just give me the phone. 13:58.462 --> 14:01.507 Okay, uh... [clears throat] 14:03.592 --> 14:06.679 Farouk's EKG shows nonspecific ST changes. 14:06.762 --> 14:10.140 -And I hear a concerning murmur. -So I'm not losing my mind. 14:10.307 --> 14:13.018 -No. -[sighs] 14:15.563 --> 14:17.982 Is there anything I should know about Farouk's medical history? 14:18.065 --> 14:20.860 He used to get a lot of ear infections. 14:21.026 --> 14:24.655 He once fell on his bike and knocked out his two front teeth, 14:24.822 --> 14:27.116 and it was just... Right. Not relevant. 14:27.199 --> 14:30.077 He was treated for TB about ten years ago in Iraq. 14:30.160 --> 14:32.371 I don't know anything about the first four years of his life. 14:32.454 --> 14:35.541 -Iraq. That's where he grew up? -No. He was born in Syria, 14:35.624 --> 14:38.294 but he came to Iraq as a refugee after his parents died. 14:38.377 --> 14:42.131 I raised him while I was being held as a POW and, you know, 14:42.298 --> 14:43.799 getting my abs exploded. 14:43.883 --> 14:46.969 You and your brother both served. I didn't realize. 14:47.052 --> 14:48.262 How would you? 14:49.972 --> 14:53.058 -I wanna do an echo. -Do it. Do it all. 14:53.142 --> 14:57.813 Hayes... do you mind just keeping this between us for now? 14:57.897 --> 15:00.274 If Owen finds out about this, he'll freak out 15:00.441 --> 15:01.859 and I'm already freaking out a little bit. 15:01.942 --> 15:05.571 -I've been there. Of course. -Thank you. 15:12.369 --> 15:13.621 [Owen] Hey there, Roy. 15:14.371 --> 15:17.458 [Roy] You two gonna tell me what you saw on those scans? 15:17.625 --> 15:20.002 My ex-wife looks happier to see me than you two. 15:21.378 --> 15:26.050 -Noah, you mind giving us a minute? -No, it's okay, doc. He can stay. 15:27.509 --> 15:31.263 Roy, there was an abnormality in a section of your lung. 15:31.430 --> 15:33.474 And it looks like it's an early stage of cancer. 15:33.557 --> 15:36.685 Early. That doesn't sound so bad. 15:36.769 --> 15:40.356 With cancer, the usual surgical treatment would be a lobectomy. 15:40.522 --> 15:41.815 We'd take out that entire section. 15:41.899 --> 15:44.109 [Owen] But with fibrosis this advanced, 15:44.193 --> 15:46.820 you can't afford to give up that much of your lung function. 15:46.904 --> 15:50.199 Well, I didn't exactly think I had a whole decade in front of me. 15:50.407 --> 15:51.742 [clicks tongue] 15:51.825 --> 15:55.329 So, what are we talking? [coughs] A couple years? Sooner? 15:56.997 --> 16:00.668 Hm? What can you do to get me to Congress next month? 16:00.751 --> 16:04.546 We could try a segmentectomy, where we remove just the mass. 16:04.630 --> 16:09.843 It's very risky, though, honestly, I don't know that I'd recommend it. 16:09.927 --> 16:15.182 -But it could buy me more time, yeah? -Possibly. A little. 16:15.265 --> 16:18.018 Well, let-- let's do it. Slice me open. 16:18.185 --> 16:21.021 Roy, no. Send somebody else to Washington. 16:22.106 --> 16:26.694 Hey, if I collapse while I'm there, it might help our case, right? 16:27.820 --> 16:30.948 It's fine. I have a little cancer, hm. 16:31.657 --> 16:34.159 I've spent my entire career, 16:34.326 --> 16:37.579 hell my entire life... fighting. 16:38.288 --> 16:39.915 Why would I stop now? 16:39.999 --> 16:42.167 I want the surgery. 16:42.751 --> 16:43.919 Okay. 16:49.174 --> 16:53.387 -Tell me why you left Scout's dad. -I already told you. 16:53.470 --> 16:56.223 No, you told me you said no to his proposal. But you didn't tell me why. 16:56.473 --> 16:57.349 Uh... 16:57.808 --> 17:00.477 Everything about it was a disaster. 17:00.644 --> 17:03.522 It felt gaslighty and manipulative. 17:03.689 --> 17:08.360 He did it at Maggie's wedding, using Mer's kids as props. 17:08.527 --> 17:11.280 Is he a gaslighty and manipulative guy as a rule? 17:12.031 --> 17:13.741 No. 17:13.907 --> 17:16.368 Because the other way you could see that proposal is that 17:16.452 --> 17:18.871 he was being incredibly earnest and romantic. 17:18.954 --> 17:23.292 I mean, if you're a person who saw the world through rose-colored glasses, 17:23.375 --> 17:25.669 you know, like people in, in love do. 17:26.545 --> 17:29.006 Okay, I want to go back to pretending we don't know each other. 17:29.089 --> 17:31.884 -We'll do that when the films are up. -How come you get to make the rules? 17:31.967 --> 17:34.178 Because I'm older and because my patient might be brain damaged 17:34.344 --> 17:36.930 and I need to be distracted. So tell me why you said no. 17:37.806 --> 17:39.933 Um... [sighs] 17:40.100 --> 17:42.644 I knew for months that I didn't want what he wanted. 17:42.728 --> 17:47.191 We had Scout and we had Mer's kids because she was in the hospital-- 17:47.357 --> 17:49.526 -I heard. I prayed. -Yeah. 17:49.610 --> 17:52.112 So we were drowning in children and domesticity 17:52.279 --> 17:56.158 and... every day I felt like I might die of it. 17:57.618 --> 18:00.329 I love all the kids, but every day I thought I might die 18:00.496 --> 18:05.125 of monotony and boredom and dirty diapers and dirty dishes and laundry. 18:05.292 --> 18:07.961 And every day I thought about doing drugs. 18:08.128 --> 18:12.257 And every night I went to virtual meetings 18:12.341 --> 18:14.802 and I am here to tell you that those virtual meetings, 18:14.885 --> 18:16.804 [clears throat] while better than no meetings, 18:16.887 --> 18:19.681 are no substitute for regular in-person meetings. 18:19.765 --> 18:23.102 They're not the same. And so, I was hanging by a thread. 18:23.185 --> 18:28.190 And, um, Link... wasn't. 18:28.774 --> 18:31.777 He was falling in love with domesticity. 18:31.944 --> 18:34.947 And he was the world's most stand-up guy. 18:35.114 --> 18:39.076 And he started proposing all the time, 18:39.159 --> 18:41.120 despite me saying no, 18:41.203 --> 18:45.499 and he decided that he wanted more kids and I felt like I couldn't breathe. 18:45.582 --> 18:48.710 And... then I judged myself for that. 18:48.794 --> 18:52.214 Like I think you are judging me now. 18:53.257 --> 18:55.050 During the pandemic, I drank so much red wine, 18:55.217 --> 18:57.469 I seriously considered checking myself into rehab. 18:57.553 --> 18:59.388 -Really? -Really. 18:59.471 --> 19:01.598 I looked like a swollen tick. 19:02.307 --> 19:03.892 I lost it. 19:04.977 --> 19:09.106 Lost it. I just hated-- hated being stuck at home. 19:09.189 --> 19:11.441 Some people loved it, they baked bread. I don't like bread. 19:12.526 --> 19:15.445 I began to truly hate my... 19:16.446 --> 19:19.366 video game-obsessed son and my husband, 19:19.449 --> 19:23.829 who, by the way, took up a model train hobby that seemed to truly delight him. 19:23.912 --> 19:25.539 -No. Hm. -Exactly. 19:25.706 --> 19:30.502 Yeah, I... I went really dark, Amelia. 19:31.587 --> 19:34.256 Dark... dark thoughts. 19:35.757 --> 19:38.427 I was daydreaming about going to sleep and never waking up, 19:38.594 --> 19:43.098 and that thought... comforted me. 19:44.975 --> 19:47.895 I hate that for you. [sniffs] 19:48.228 --> 19:50.022 And thank you. 19:50.105 --> 19:54.568 Thank you. Because... me too. 19:54.651 --> 19:57.029 [monitor whirrs, beeps] 19:57.196 --> 19:59.114 Films are up, Dr. Shepherd. 20:06.246 --> 20:08.832 [Levi] Venting the ports. 20:12.002 --> 20:14.755 -You're already finished? -Yeah. Is that bad? 20:14.922 --> 20:17.758 -Oh, gosh. Did I forget something? -No, no. It's... 20:17.925 --> 20:20.719 We just got one more lap chole through the ER, 20:20.886 --> 20:23.805 you're making excellent time. How's about a double feature, Schmitt? 20:23.889 --> 20:25.766 Hell, yeah. 20:26.934 --> 20:30.646 -Dr. Webber, sir. -That's what I'm talking about. 20:30.729 --> 20:34.399 Your patient will be in OR Seven. Khan, you will assist. 20:36.985 --> 20:40.030 [sing-song] We got two lap choles! 20:40.113 --> 20:42.991 We got two lap choles! Yes, we do... 20:43.075 --> 20:43.909 [Levi chuckles weakly] 20:44.785 --> 20:47.037 Oh-Vicryl, please. 20:49.623 --> 20:50.707 Looking good, brother. 20:50.874 --> 20:53.961 Okay. Whoa! Looks like you have some visitors, Roy. 20:54.127 --> 20:57.214 -Just a few familiar faces. -Look at this sorry lot, huh? 20:58.840 --> 21:01.510 Yeah. Noah shouldn't have bothered you all. 21:01.593 --> 21:04.930 We had to get our last licks in before you went under the knife. 21:05.013 --> 21:06.556 Listen, if I don't make it out of there-- 21:06.723 --> 21:08.892 Will you shut up? Of course you'll make it. 21:08.976 --> 21:11.520 At our base, the guys from the Afghan army 21:11.603 --> 21:13.647 would bring chickens and cook them for us. 21:13.814 --> 21:16.358 One day, they brought a live sheep. Remember this? 21:16.441 --> 21:19.027 Roy insisted on helping out. 21:19.111 --> 21:21.238 Told 'em he'd butchered pigs before or some lie. 21:21.321 --> 21:24.032 [laughs] I stand by that lie. 21:24.199 --> 21:26.743 [Noah] And this sheep, he did not like Roy. 21:26.827 --> 21:29.162 Second he got near him, he got kicked in the head, knocked on his ass, 21:29.246 --> 21:30.872 -and trampled. -[laughing] 21:30.956 --> 21:32.791 -What happened to the sheep? -[Noah] He took off, 21:32.874 --> 21:34.209 left Roy on the ground, bloody and bruised. 21:34.293 --> 21:37.838 -That's gotta hurt. -So I run over and Roy's out cold. 21:38.005 --> 21:41.174 Just when I start to panic, his crazy eyes fly open. 21:41.341 --> 21:44.428 He jumps up, screaming, "Yee-haw!" 21:44.594 --> 21:48.265 -And he takes off after that sheep. -I have no memory of that. I-- I-- 21:48.348 --> 21:50.934 Probably because of the concussion. 21:51.101 --> 21:54.104 My point is, if that angry sheep can't get rid of you, nothing can. 21:54.187 --> 21:56.231 [coughs, grunts] 22:01.945 --> 22:04.948 You guys, I won't forget this. 22:06.491 --> 22:08.660 You all coming here for me. 22:09.953 --> 22:12.706 -We ready? -We're ready. 22:12.789 --> 22:14.041 -Let's go. -[Owen] Yup. 22:14.124 --> 22:15.834 -[indistinct] -Alright, bud. 22:16.084 --> 22:17.919 [Noah] You got this, brother. 22:21.965 --> 22:26.303 Niki, your EKG looks normal. And cardio couldn't see anything on your echo. 22:26.386 --> 22:29.431 So is it possible you're experiencing a little anxiety? 22:29.598 --> 22:32.017 Is it possible? I'm having a baby! 22:32.184 --> 22:34.478 And somehow my new boyfriend didn't notice I was pregnant! 22:34.644 --> 22:37.481 Of course, it's possible! [groans] 22:37.564 --> 22:40.108 [pants] Where's Dustin with those ice chips? 22:40.192 --> 22:43.862 What is important right now is that you take some deep breaths and stay calm. 22:44.029 --> 22:45.739 Okay? 22:45.822 --> 22:47.449 He left, didn't he? 22:49.159 --> 22:52.371 [crying] I'm all alone. I can't do this all alone. 22:52.454 --> 22:54.581 Yes, you can. I know you can. 22:54.664 --> 22:58.585 My friends thought I was crazy for having some random guy's baby. 22:58.668 --> 23:00.921 And my parents told me they wanted no part of it. 23:01.004 --> 23:06.218 So I moved across the country. And I was lonely and scared. 23:06.301 --> 23:11.098 And then I met Dustin, and... he didn't seem to mind. 23:11.181 --> 23:15.811 -How did he not notice? -I don't know, Niki. 23:15.894 --> 23:19.022 But you wanted to have this baby. And you are about to meet him. 23:19.106 --> 23:21.525 I just wanted someone to hold my hand. 23:21.608 --> 23:23.944 I'll hold your hand. 23:28.240 --> 23:29.950 Who's gonna deliver the baby? 23:30.033 --> 23:34.579 Um, hey. Uh, can you page Dr. DeLuca, please? Now. 23:36.498 --> 23:40.293 We almost have the critical view of safety cleared. 23:40.377 --> 23:41.753 Are we ready to move forward? 23:44.673 --> 23:46.758 -[rapid beeping] -The field is filling with blood. 23:46.842 --> 23:48.510 Why is the field filling with blood? 23:48.593 --> 23:50.178 -Maybe you should suction. -You're my assist, 23:50.345 --> 23:51.805 maybe you should suction! Okay. 23:51.972 --> 23:54.224 Uh, indications to convert to open cholecystecomy: 23:54.307 --> 23:56.601 adhesions, fibrosis, unclear anatomy, hemorrhage. 23:56.685 --> 23:59.312 This could be the cystic artery, the hepatic artery. 23:59.396 --> 24:01.356 -We have to open her up. -We? 24:01.440 --> 24:03.483 Get the trocars out, and somebody call an attending! 24:03.567 --> 24:05.277 [monitors beeping] 24:05.735 --> 24:08.613 The good news is there's no signs of CVA, edema or tumor. 24:08.780 --> 24:12.033 And there's no electrolyte abnormalities or infection. 24:12.200 --> 24:14.327 -Well, that's good news and bad news. -Why? 24:14.494 --> 24:17.122 Because with everything else ruled out, it's likely that the seizures 24:17.289 --> 24:19.624 are being caused by neurotoxicity from anti-rejection meds. 24:19.791 --> 24:20.876 Damn it. Damn it! 24:20.959 --> 24:24.045 We can switch her immunosuppressants, keep her on anticonvulsants, 24:24.212 --> 24:26.631 -and watch her like a hawk. -I live in Los Angeles. 24:26.798 --> 24:29.342 Okay, and as much as I hated them when I was trapped in a house with them, 24:29.426 --> 24:32.053 I do love my son and my husband, I have to get back home to them. 24:32.137 --> 24:37.184 I had arranged for the clinical trial team to monitor her from here on out. 24:37.267 --> 24:40.061 I can too-- I can't because I'm going back and forth to Minnesota. 24:40.228 --> 24:42.564 But Bailey can. Or someone can. 24:42.731 --> 24:44.316 What I'm saying is, we can help. 24:44.483 --> 24:46.193 You'll just have to share credit when you publish. 24:46.276 --> 24:48.612 Don't say that like it's a small thing. 24:49.404 --> 24:51.823 It's risky. She's had so many seizures. 24:51.990 --> 24:55.619 -If she seizes up again-- -We loaded her with anticonvulsants. 24:55.785 --> 24:57.996 We will watch her closely. If we have to take out the uterus, 24:58.163 --> 25:01.833 we take out the uterus. Let's cross that bridge when we come to it. 25:03.835 --> 25:08.298 -I want to agree with you. -Okay. So what's stopping you? 25:08.381 --> 25:13.220 I need to not kill this patient. I need to not let her die. 25:14.804 --> 25:18.475 Helping her helped me. It excited me. 25:18.558 --> 25:21.269 A uterine transplant? I mean, the thought of creating something for her 25:21.436 --> 25:24.648 that didn't exist before her, it made me... 25:24.814 --> 25:26.358 want to get out of bed in the morning. 25:26.441 --> 25:29.402 I don't want to make a decision that's selfish. 25:29.569 --> 25:33.323 I need to prioritize her life over the study. 25:33.406 --> 25:37.118 And I need you to tell me if there's a chance that you think I'm not. 25:37.202 --> 25:42.707 Dr. Montgomery, your patient was so in love with her husband 25:42.791 --> 25:46.086 that she's having a baby with him, even though he's dead. 25:46.169 --> 25:49.297 She's so in love with the idea of becoming a mother 25:49.464 --> 25:53.593 that she entered your study knowing that she was risking her life. 25:53.760 --> 25:55.178 You are not being selfish. 25:55.262 --> 26:00.350 You are doing every single thing you can to help her live her dream. 26:00.433 --> 26:05.313 And that... is an excellent reason to get out of bed in the morning. 26:08.066 --> 26:09.484 [Owen] We're almost ready here, Roy. 26:09.651 --> 26:11.403 You're still sure you want to go through with this? 26:11.611 --> 26:12.946 [Roy groans] 26:13.697 --> 26:15.282 I got a daughter. 26:15.448 --> 26:19.661 She lives on the East Coast with her husband, two kids. 26:19.744 --> 26:21.496 I don't ever see them. 26:21.580 --> 26:24.708 She took her mother's side in the divorce, and that was it. 26:24.874 --> 26:27.460 But if someone had done this to her, 26:27.544 --> 26:31.923 if someone had made her breathe in that crap and caused her a lifetime of pain, 26:32.007 --> 26:35.719 -I'd want that person dead. -Roy, we're going to stop this. 26:35.885 --> 26:38.096 We're going to hold the people at fault responsible. 26:38.179 --> 26:41.266 -Okay? -I'm responsible. 26:42.767 --> 26:44.477 I'm not sure I understand. 26:44.644 --> 26:46.605 I authorized it. 26:46.771 --> 26:48.857 The burn pit on our base. 26:48.940 --> 26:53.361 Trash was piling up. There was no plumbing, no sewage system. 26:53.528 --> 26:55.864 It's not like the garbage man comes on Tuesdays. I... 26:56.406 --> 27:00.201 [coughs] I heard the other bases were burning it all. 27:01.578 --> 27:05.415 So... that's what I told them to do. 27:07.709 --> 27:09.961 I didn't invent the idea. 27:10.128 --> 27:12.130 But when I close my eyes at night, 27:12.297 --> 27:14.799 I see that black smoke billowing up from the ground. 27:14.883 --> 27:20.388 And I know that I committed the worst... crime... 27:22.223 --> 27:24.267 complicity. 27:27.228 --> 27:31.441 So, at the end of the day, I might deserve to die. 27:32.317 --> 27:34.819 But everyone else deserves to live. 27:34.903 --> 27:37.113 Let's do it. 27:42.869 --> 27:43.870 [monitors beeping] 27:43.953 --> 27:45.330 -What happened? -I don't know. 27:45.413 --> 27:47.874 The field filled with blood, and I converted to open and now-- 27:47.957 --> 27:49.626 -You should have waited. -She was bleeding out. 27:49.709 --> 27:51.127 -[Bailey] You still should have waited. -I'm sorry, chief-- 27:51.211 --> 27:54.923 Step aside. I need another suction and I need laps now. 27:55.090 --> 27:56.925 -What can I do? -If you want this patient to live, 27:57.008 --> 27:58.551 step aside. 27:59.761 --> 28:01.721 Okay, suction. 28:02.263 --> 28:03.598 Okay, clamp. 28:07.644 --> 28:09.896 [Owen] I have never seen lung tissue like this. You? 28:10.063 --> 28:13.608 I have, in advanced ARDS secondary to Covid. And it didn't end well. 28:13.775 --> 28:15.402 Suction. [sighs] 28:15.485 --> 28:18.905 The tissue's just falling apart in my hands. Stapler. 28:18.988 --> 28:20.365 Thanks. 28:21.491 --> 28:22.909 Okay. 28:23.159 --> 28:26.037 Thank you for doing this. I know you didn't think it was a good idea. 28:26.204 --> 28:28.415 I didn't. But I believe in fighting for what's right. 28:28.581 --> 28:31.918 And if giving this guy a few more months helps make life better for others, 28:32.085 --> 28:34.838 -I'm in. -Okay... Right. 28:35.380 --> 28:36.965 [monitors beeping] 28:37.048 --> 28:38.299 -He's hemorrhaging. -Hold pressure. 28:38.466 --> 28:40.885 I'll try to find the source. DeBakey clamp, now. 28:42.804 --> 28:44.305 Yeah. 28:46.349 --> 28:47.684 There. Got it. 28:47.767 --> 28:51.771 Phew! All right. So that's how this is gonna go, huh, Roy? 28:51.855 --> 28:53.356 I've only known the guy for eight hours, 28:53.523 --> 28:55.483 I'm pretty sure he's not going to make it easy on us. 28:55.567 --> 28:59.320 I operated in Boston for 15 years. No patient made it easy on me. 28:59.487 --> 29:01.156 Hemostats. 29:03.533 --> 29:05.243 [Levi] Finished. 29:05.410 --> 29:07.996 And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how it's done. 29:08.079 --> 29:11.332 -Yes, it is! -[applause] 29:11.499 --> 29:15.503 Flawless technique on not one, but two lap choles today. 29:15.587 --> 29:18.673 -Take notes if you want to survive. -Thank you, sir. 29:18.840 --> 29:20.717 For the opportunity, the patience-- 29:20.884 --> 29:25.430 By working together today, we saved 13 patients from cholecystitis. 29:25.513 --> 29:28.391 A hospital record. You should all be proud. 29:28.558 --> 29:32.228 Study hard. Today was lap chole, tomorrow could be something more. 29:32.312 --> 29:34.647 Don't come unprepared. 29:34.731 --> 29:37.150 [cheering] 29:40.403 --> 29:43.823 Hi, Tovah, I'm Dr. Shepherd. 29:44.657 --> 29:49.245 Is it gone? Did I... Did I lose it? Did you take the uterus? 29:49.329 --> 29:51.539 -No. -Tovah... 29:53.041 --> 29:54.334 You didn't reject it. 29:56.085 --> 29:58.671 -There's still a chance? -There's still a chance. 29:58.755 --> 30:02.008 We're going to step up your protocol. You're still in the trial. 30:02.175 --> 30:03.343 Oh, God, thank you! 30:04.803 --> 30:06.763 [crying] Thank you! Oh, God! 30:07.972 --> 30:09.516 I'm gonna do a quick neuro-check. 30:09.599 --> 30:12.852 Let's just... give her a minute to cry. 30:12.936 --> 30:14.854 [music playing] 30:15.563 --> 30:16.689 [Nicki grunting] 30:16.773 --> 30:20.026 -Wilson, what are you doing? -She won't let go of my hand. 30:20.193 --> 30:23.988 You're an OB. Your job is to deliver the babies, not to hold hands. 30:24.072 --> 30:25.824 Okay. 30:26.407 --> 30:27.575 And she's crowning. 30:27.742 --> 30:30.537 Niki, I need to help get the baby out, but I will be right over here. 30:30.620 --> 30:32.622 No, I can't do this! I just can't! 30:32.789 --> 30:35.291 Niki, you're worried about being alone, you're not alone. 30:35.375 --> 30:39.170 You have your son. As soon as he comes out, he will be your whole heart. 30:39.254 --> 30:41.172 It's hard and it's exhausting, 30:41.256 --> 30:43.508 and there are days when you will turn around and wonder, 30:43.591 --> 30:46.302 where is this baby's mother because it absolutely cannot be me? 30:48.805 --> 30:52.392 But you will love him so much, you'll let him sleep on you anywhere, 30:52.559 --> 30:55.854 any time, no matter how uncomfortable you are. 30:55.937 --> 30:59.023 And just one smell of his head will make you feel like your heart could explode. 30:59.107 --> 31:01.693 And that is worth so much more than your fear. 31:01.776 --> 31:05.154 Okay? You ready to start pushing? On the count of three. 31:05.238 --> 31:07.156 One, two, three. 31:07.240 --> 31:09.367 [groaning] 31:10.285 --> 31:11.911 Here's the head! 31:12.078 --> 31:13.580 Wait, wait, wait. Niki, stop pushing. 31:13.913 --> 31:16.332 Okay, uh, shoulder dystocia. 31:16.416 --> 31:18.376 Baby's shoulder is caught behind the pubic bone. 31:18.459 --> 31:19.794 Okay, Wilson. What do you do? 31:19.878 --> 31:22.839 Uh, we're doing a McRoberts maneuver to get the baby out. 31:22.922 --> 31:24.883 -A what? -We've got you, Niki. 31:26.509 --> 31:29.429 -All right. Ready to push again? -Okay. 31:29.512 --> 31:32.140 All right, one, two, three. 31:32.223 --> 31:33.641 [groans] 31:33.725 --> 31:36.603 Wilson, put your hand in and find the anterior shoulder. 31:36.686 --> 31:38.187 -You got it? -Yep. 31:38.271 --> 31:42.984 Okay, now push the back of the baby's shoulder towards the chest. 31:43.067 --> 31:44.277 -Gently. -Okay. 31:45.528 --> 31:46.946 [Jo] Here he comes. 31:47.113 --> 31:50.366 My goodness. A beautiful, healthy baby boy. 31:50.533 --> 31:51.618 My goodness! 31:51.701 --> 31:52.785 [baby cries] 31:53.745 --> 31:55.288 Well done, Wilson. 32:12.597 --> 32:16.434 Farouk's echo and cardiac MRI show constrictive pericarditis. 32:16.517 --> 32:19.312 -Most likely secondary to the TB. -Hm. 32:19.395 --> 32:23.066 [sighs] I'm so sorry. I... I wish it was better news. 32:23.149 --> 32:26.736 He's already been through so much, more than any kid should. 32:26.903 --> 32:28.571 And the hits just keep coming. 32:32.700 --> 32:34.994 -Do you want to be alone? -I'm sorry. I don't-- 32:35.078 --> 32:37.121 [sobs] I don't usually do this. 32:37.205 --> 32:39.540 It's your son. All bets are off. 32:41.334 --> 32:46.005 Uh... Okay. So, so, what does this mean? Is he gonna need surgery, or... 32:46.881 --> 32:49.175 I have to consult with cardio, but I think so, yes. 32:49.258 --> 32:50.969 Most likely a pericardiectomy. 32:51.636 --> 32:53.054 Oh, God. 32:53.221 --> 32:54.806 I'll admit him and we'll go from there. 32:54.973 --> 32:56.849 Farouk, oh, my God. 32:58.101 --> 33:01.646 God, he's so... he's so good. 33:01.813 --> 33:03.856 I mean, he's a teenager, but... 33:05.024 --> 33:07.568 God, he's always been such a good kid, 33:07.652 --> 33:12.448 despite what this messed-up world has given him. 33:12.615 --> 33:14.075 He has to be okay. 33:14.158 --> 33:18.162 I will do everything in my power to make sure that he is. That's a promise. 33:18.246 --> 33:19.664 Okay. 33:19.747 --> 33:23.251 -You want me to call your brother? -I'll tell him. Just not yet. 33:23.334 --> 33:24.919 I... 33:25.420 --> 33:30.049 I-- I need to sit with this by myself for, for a minute. 33:30.133 --> 33:32.176 Take all the time you need. 33:40.893 --> 33:43.021 So his lungs had more scarring than we expected. 33:43.187 --> 33:44.522 It's gonna be a tough road ahead. 33:44.605 --> 33:47.942 He can handle it. I know he can. 33:53.865 --> 33:55.074 Thank you. 33:55.241 --> 33:58.119 Honestly, you're the first doctor I've met who really gave a crap. 33:58.202 --> 34:00.830 Who's really done anything for... any of us. 34:00.913 --> 34:04.167 Well, I'm sorry that's the case. 34:04.333 --> 34:06.335 But this is personal to me, you know? 34:07.211 --> 34:10.214 I'm in this with all of you guys. Okay? 34:12.258 --> 34:16.179 -[monitors beeping] -Whoa! What's happening? Dr. Hunt! 34:17.180 --> 34:19.140 -Noah, I need you to leave, okay? -I'm not leaving him! 34:19.307 --> 34:22.143 Sergeant, step outside, now! 34:22.226 --> 34:24.020 Now! 34:24.103 --> 34:27.648 [Winston] Damn it, his O2 is plummeting. Noah, you gotta go. 34:27.732 --> 34:30.568 -Come on, Roy. -[Owen] V-fib! Paddles! 34:32.278 --> 34:35.156 Come on, Roy. Come on, Roy. 34:35.239 --> 34:38.242 -Come on, Roy, hang in there! -Charge to 120. 34:38.993 --> 34:40.745 -Ready? And clear. -[machine beeps] 34:41.287 --> 34:42.371 No change. Push one of epi. 34:42.455 --> 34:45.208 Charge to 150. And clear. 34:45.291 --> 34:47.043 Come on, Roy. 34:47.293 --> 34:49.045 200! And clear! 34:55.802 --> 34:58.721 -Who wants cider? -Congratulations, sweetheart. 34:58.930 --> 35:04.268 I knew I was skeptical, but 13 lap choles, that is something. 35:04.435 --> 35:07.313 Even though you did con me into agreeing this morning. 35:07.480 --> 35:11.275 Con? Is that what you're calling it, what we did? 35:12.068 --> 35:14.487 Well, you've set the bar very high for yourself. 35:14.654 --> 35:17.365 The residents are going to expect this all the time. 35:17.532 --> 35:19.575 I mean, who knows? The scrub nurses may walk out. 35:19.659 --> 35:21.911 Well, everyone will adapt. They'll have to, 35:22.078 --> 35:24.956 because from now on, this is gonna be my primary method of teaching. 35:25.039 --> 35:28.668 -To the Webber Method. -Ooh! Rolls off the tongue, doesn't it? 35:29.919 --> 35:32.463 -You still don't like it. -No, I don't. 35:32.630 --> 35:35.925 Look, Helm clipped that artery with no attending in the room. 35:36.008 --> 35:37.593 When I first walked in and saw all that blood, 35:37.760 --> 35:40.888 even I didn't know which way was up. How was a resident supposed to? 35:40.972 --> 35:44.559 You know as well as I that complication could've happened to any one of us. 35:44.642 --> 35:48.688 Which is why we owe it to them and the patients to be there. 35:48.771 --> 35:50.606 In the room. 35:50.773 --> 35:52.316 Bailey... 35:53.359 --> 35:54.819 Ten years from now, 35:54.986 --> 35:57.947 we are gonna be short tens of thousands of surgeons 35:58.114 --> 36:00.199 if we don't rethink what we're doing here. 36:00.366 --> 36:01.742 We're a teaching hospital. 36:01.826 --> 36:04.453 And we have a moral imperative to make sure people don't die 36:04.537 --> 36:06.289 because there's no one to operate on them. 36:06.372 --> 36:08.708 That's what we owe these patients. 36:08.875 --> 36:10.459 [Meredith] Helm did prove the system worked. 36:10.543 --> 36:13.421 She asked for help. She did exactly what she was supposed to do. 36:13.504 --> 36:15.006 And you were there, and you helped. 36:15.089 --> 36:18.551 The patient's alive and stable and in recovery. It did work. 36:19.677 --> 36:22.972 -[mumbles] To the Webber Method. -I-- I'm sorry, what? 36:23.055 --> 36:25.266 -To the Webber Method! -[laughs] 36:40.239 --> 36:42.450 I'm so sorry, Noah. We did everything we could. 36:43.868 --> 36:47.205 [Winston] Roy's lungs were just... too far gone. 36:47.288 --> 36:49.957 And the damage put too much stress on his heart. 36:52.752 --> 36:57.548 Noah... I can help you continue Roy's work. 36:57.632 --> 37:00.384 You know, the data, the testimonials... 37:00.551 --> 37:01.636 I don't want your help. 37:03.137 --> 37:05.640 I never wanted it in the first place. But you convinced me. 37:06.390 --> 37:10.478 You convinced me to introduce you to my friends, my family. 37:10.561 --> 37:12.647 And look what happened. 37:12.730 --> 37:14.690 You made it so much worse. 37:28.287 --> 37:32.625 You know I almost left Jake in the first lockdown, the thick of it, 37:32.792 --> 37:35.253 about two months in, I wasn't even drinking, I was stone cold sober. 37:35.419 --> 37:39.257 I just... God, they were bickering about Game of Thrones, 37:39.423 --> 37:43.970 and I just got up off the couch, got in the car and drove. 37:44.053 --> 37:46.555 Drove for about two hours before I stopped 37:46.722 --> 37:49.016 and even thought to ask myself what I was doing. 37:50.601 --> 37:51.852 Are you asking if I'm sure? 37:51.936 --> 37:56.983 I am saying that when one is in a slight mental health crisis, 37:57.566 --> 38:01.028 one might regret the decisions she makes later. 38:01.112 --> 38:03.155 I didn't leave when I was thinking about doing drugs. 38:03.239 --> 38:06.284 And I didn't leave when I was wondering if Link 38:06.367 --> 38:07.994 would ever really understand me. 38:08.494 --> 38:10.663 I stayed through that because I thought I must be crazy 38:10.746 --> 38:12.999 because who leaves a really good and decent guy? 38:13.082 --> 38:16.502 But I don't feel crazy now. And I don't want to get high. 38:16.585 --> 38:20.881 I just don't want a ring. And I don't want to have any more babies. And... 38:21.590 --> 38:24.176 I didn't even leave him, he left me! But... 38:26.887 --> 38:28.764 But I hated the life that he loved. 38:28.848 --> 38:33.853 And so I think the sanest and kindest thing I could possibly do 38:34.020 --> 38:39.358 is to let him go. No matter how much it sometimes aches. 38:39.442 --> 38:42.111 -[elevator dings, opens] -Look at you. 38:46.073 --> 38:47.658 Look at me, what? 38:47.867 --> 38:51.495 Look at you, Amelia Shepherd, all grown up. 38:53.289 --> 38:54.790 [music playing] 39:01.922 --> 39:04.800 -Rough day? -Yeah, I've had better. 39:04.884 --> 39:06.886 Sorry to hear that. 39:08.471 --> 39:12.308 Hey, I don't want to talk about it, but you want to get a drink at Joe's? 39:12.391 --> 39:16.228 I think I... I think I need a minute before I go home to my wife and kids. 39:18.147 --> 39:20.316 Yeah. Sure. Sounds good. 39:31.118 --> 39:32.620 -Hey. -[Link] Hey. 39:33.079 --> 39:34.622 What's up? 39:38.000 --> 39:39.293 [moans] 39:45.174 --> 39:48.177 I heard you did two flawless lap choles today. 39:48.344 --> 39:51.722 -I did. -My rock star boyfriend, huh? 39:51.806 --> 39:53.057 Say it again. 39:53.849 --> 39:56.894 My... rock star boy... 39:56.977 --> 39:58.896 [Meredith] I’ve had to operate alone before... 40:01.273 --> 40:03.859 in circumstances I would’ve never thought possible. 40:06.904 --> 40:08.447 We'll go home in a minute. 40:09.532 --> 40:13.702 I just need to find the energy to walk to the car. 40:14.912 --> 40:16.455 And get in it. 40:17.540 --> 40:19.041 Which might be tomorrow. 40:19.250 --> 40:21.293 [Meredith] By now, I know what I’m capable of. 40:21.377 --> 40:23.295 How much I can handle on my own. 40:24.505 --> 40:28.175 And you know what? I can handle a lot. 40:31.387 --> 40:34.432 You're playing the surgery over and over in your head, right? 40:35.433 --> 40:37.768 When you saw that bloody field, 40:37.852 --> 40:41.897 you felt numb, but cold. 40:43.315 --> 40:46.152 -And sick to your stomach? -Yeah. 40:46.235 --> 40:48.028 How did you know? 40:48.195 --> 40:51.740 You don't think I ever made a mistake in the OR before? 40:52.992 --> 40:56.704 Or watched Meredith Grey make a mistake? 40:59.331 --> 41:01.584 -[sighs] I feel awful. -You should. 41:02.626 --> 41:03.627 Thanks. 41:03.794 --> 41:07.465 If you didn't, you'd be in the wrong line of work. 41:08.466 --> 41:12.887 It's that feeling, that-- that awfulness... 41:13.053 --> 41:17.683 it sticks with us, so we don't ever make that same mistake again. 41:19.685 --> 41:22.104 It's how we become great. 41:25.774 --> 41:26.942 Night, Helm. 41:27.151 --> 41:29.778 [Meredith] But that doesn’t mean I’m going to turn down an assist 41:29.862 --> 41:31.864 from another pair of skilled hands. 41:41.999 --> 41:43.417 Because at the end of the day, 41:43.501 --> 41:46.587 just because I can do a surgery alone doesn’t mean I have to. 41:47.004 --> 41:48.255 -[Jake] Hi! -Let me guess, 41:48.339 --> 41:49.840 emergent kidney transplant. 41:49.924 --> 41:52.676 -Uh, liver, actually. -How'd it go? 41:52.760 --> 41:55.054 -Good. Not bad. -Good. 41:55.137 --> 41:57.306 -You're here. -I'm here. 41:58.390 --> 42:00.184 Should we get some dinner tonight? 42:00.643 --> 42:02.102 -Yes. -Okay. 42:02.186 --> 42:03.270 -Let's do it. -Let's do it. 42:03.354 --> 42:05.814 -Okay. Go get some rest. -I will. 42:05.898 --> 42:07.399 See you. 42:07.608 --> 42:09.360 [Meredith] Knowing someone else has you back, 42:11.904 --> 42:13.405 it's everything. 42:54.697 --> 42:56.740 [screaming]