WEBVTT 00:02.460 --> 00:07.716 ♪♪ 00:08.758 --> 00:11.720 [Meredith] Our genes, which we inherit from our parents, 00:11.803 --> 00:13.638 determine who we are biologically. 00:15.140 --> 00:16.850 Just a heads-up -- the owner of the cabin 00:16.933 --> 00:18.893 has a very strict no-phones policy, 00:18.977 --> 00:19.978 except in emergencies. 00:20.186 --> 00:21.855 I wouldn't want to upset the owner. 00:21.938 --> 00:24.357 -[chuckles] No, you wouldn't. -[chuckles] Right? 00:24.899 --> 00:26.484 Wow. 00:26.568 --> 00:28.403 It's more amazing than you described. 00:28.486 --> 00:30.530 Well, the porch railing's a little loose, 00:30.613 --> 00:32.198 and, you know, bears. 00:32.282 --> 00:33.658 But they're not inside, so... 00:34.117 --> 00:35.368 Okay. Hmm. 00:35.452 --> 00:36.911 Our blueprint. 00:36.995 --> 00:38.621 ♪♪ 00:38.705 --> 00:41.791 Sorry, it's just one last e-mail to Amelia 00:41.875 --> 00:42.959 about the FDA. 00:43.043 --> 00:44.210 And then you'll be done changing the world? 00:44.294 --> 00:45.211 Yes. 00:45.295 --> 00:46.880 -[cellphone swishes] -Done. 00:47.964 --> 00:49.632 -Ready? Let's go. -Yeah. 00:51.217 --> 00:52.427 [man over PA] Paging Dr. Hamilton 00:52.552 --> 00:53.595 to the Grey Center. 00:53.678 --> 00:55.388 Dr. Hamilton to the Grey Center. 00:55.472 --> 00:57.932 [Meredith] Everything from our eye color to our height. 00:58.850 --> 01:00.185 Even our laugh. 01:00.727 --> 01:02.187 But, also, our diseases. 01:02.270 --> 01:03.772 Did I miss the party invite? 01:03.855 --> 01:07.108 A very expensive experiment succeeded, 01:07.192 --> 01:09.486 which means more money, more people. 01:09.569 --> 01:11.404 More toys. Is this a new 3D b--? 01:11.488 --> 01:13.281 -Don't. -I know. Don't touch it. 01:13.364 --> 01:14.616 Did you see Meredith's notes? 01:14.699 --> 01:16.367 She said we could finish the report. 01:16.910 --> 01:19.370 [Meredith] Asthma, diabetes, cancers. 01:19.454 --> 01:20.663 And be done with all this? 01:24.334 --> 01:27.754 But who you are at your core goes way beyond genes. 01:28.671 --> 01:32.467 98, 99, 100! Ready or not, here I come. 01:32.550 --> 01:34.302 So, the sun is actually white? 01:34.385 --> 01:36.513 -Yeah. Weird, huh? -Yeah. 01:36.596 --> 01:39.224 -And it's not even the biggest star. -Is that true, Aunt Maggie? 01:39.682 --> 01:40.975 Huh? 01:41.059 --> 01:42.644 I'm so sorry. What was it? 01:42.727 --> 01:44.145 What -- Ask me again. 01:44.229 --> 01:45.730 Well, I think you should go lay down. 01:45.814 --> 01:47.398 No. No. 01:47.482 --> 01:49.359 I took the flu medication. I'm gonna rally, 01:49.442 --> 01:50.401 and I'm gonna help with the kids. 01:50.485 --> 01:52.737 Well, you know I used to be a camp counselor, right? 01:52.821 --> 01:55.865 I know CPR, and I've seen every Marvel movie. 01:56.407 --> 01:59.369 And, you know, the whole surgeon thing. 01:59.452 --> 02:01.663 It's just it requires a different kind of training. 02:01.746 --> 02:03.957 I'll be fine. Let's just get you upstairs and-- 02:04.040 --> 02:05.125 I can't find Ellis. 02:06.251 --> 02:07.836 -[sighs] -Oh, God. 02:07.919 --> 02:09.796 Yeah, okay. Here we go. 02:11.756 --> 02:12.715 Here we go. 02:16.678 --> 02:17.679 [chuckles] 02:19.848 --> 02:22.100 You're rewriting your report in your head, aren't you? 02:22.642 --> 02:27.230 I am still stuck on the part where we explained 02:27.313 --> 02:30.316 why we chose to break up the injection into four parts. 02:30.400 --> 02:31.568 Mm. 02:31.860 --> 02:32.986 When you work on something like that, 02:33.069 --> 02:34.571 it invades your thoughts. 02:34.654 --> 02:37.240 It invades your dreams, everything. It's weird. 02:37.323 --> 02:39.284 Two weeks ago, I wrote out 02:39.367 --> 02:41.452 a cellular calculation on Zola's homework. 02:41.536 --> 02:43.037 Well, think how smart she looked. 02:43.121 --> 02:44.873 -It was a history assignment. -Oh. 02:44.956 --> 02:46.082 About 15 years ago, 02:46.166 --> 02:48.042 I got involved in a study on liver transplants 02:48.126 --> 02:49.794 with HIV-positive donors and recipients, 02:49.878 --> 02:51.796 and it was a lot of ups and downs 02:51.880 --> 02:53.381 and flying all over the country. 02:53.506 --> 02:54.924 And I wanted to be able to turn my brain off 02:55.008 --> 02:57.760 every once in a while, so... cabin. 02:57.844 --> 03:00.180 It was the first big purchase I made just for me. 03:00.263 --> 03:01.598 Did it work, to shut your brain off? 03:01.681 --> 03:03.183 The first few times I came up here, 03:03.266 --> 03:04.184 I got a little stir crazy. 03:04.267 --> 03:06.686 -Because there were no lives to save. -Not a single one. 03:06.769 --> 03:08.104 So, I had to settle into the calm. 03:08.188 --> 03:09.564 [laughs] 03:09.647 --> 03:11.316 Oh. What's that like? 03:11.399 --> 03:12.525 Takes some getting used to. 03:12.609 --> 03:14.277 [laughs] 03:17.363 --> 03:19.866 -You're not very good at this, are you? -[laughs] 03:19.949 --> 03:21.993 No. [sniffles] 03:22.076 --> 03:23.828 ♪♪ 03:23.912 --> 03:25.830 -Come here. -[chuckles] 03:25.914 --> 03:27.957 [glass taps lightly] 03:28.041 --> 03:32.003 ♪♪ 03:37.217 --> 03:41.054 ♪♪ 03:43.223 --> 03:45.433 I think we need to re-work the way we tackle 03:45.516 --> 03:46.517 David's bowel obstruction. 03:46.601 --> 03:48.311 It reads like he was intentionally trying to hide it. 03:48.394 --> 03:49.687 -Didn't he? -Maybe, 03:49.771 --> 03:51.731 but he's already been accused of pay-to-play. 03:51.814 --> 03:54.234 Putting entire responsibility on him would further discredit him, 03:54.317 --> 03:55.985 just as he's looking to widen the project. 03:56.069 --> 03:58.112 -So we should take the blame? -I didn't say that, either. 03:59.030 --> 04:00.698 Hamilton's primary care physician 04:00.782 --> 04:01.699 had examined and cleared him, 04:01.783 --> 04:03.952 and he reported feeling fine that morning. 04:04.035 --> 04:05.995 Patients with Parkinson's are at risk 04:06.079 --> 04:07.664 for other health conditions. 04:07.747 --> 04:09.249 Maybe we could have done more on our end. 04:09.332 --> 04:11.376 Hamilton almost cost us that entire surgery. 04:11.459 --> 04:12.585 -Why would we lie? -We're not. 04:12.669 --> 04:15.338 But the goal is to further Parkinson's research. 04:15.421 --> 04:16.673 Do you have to do that? 04:16.756 --> 04:18.341 -Walk? -Pace. 04:19.968 --> 04:22.637 Fine, okay -- an argument could be made 04:22.720 --> 04:24.555 that due to the extreme motivation of patients 04:24.639 --> 04:26.641 who are seeking this experimental surgery, 04:26.724 --> 04:28.977 it requires more in-depth history and physical pre-op. 04:29.060 --> 04:30.770 Right, okay. Let's frame it like that. 04:30.853 --> 04:33.022 Thorough history-taking and rigorous testing 04:33.106 --> 04:35.775 should be considered before performing the surgery moving forward. 04:35.858 --> 04:37.193 Yeah, it doesn't point fingers, 04:37.277 --> 04:38.945 and it focuses on outcomes. 04:39.028 --> 04:40.446 And it provides value to future surgeries. 04:40.530 --> 04:41.531 Mm-hmm. 04:42.907 --> 04:44.325 Pacing works. 04:49.289 --> 04:50.623 [sighs] 04:51.541 --> 04:52.917 So, are we ready to submit this? 04:53.001 --> 04:54.294 I think we are. 04:54.919 --> 04:56.921 Okay, we are... 04:57.422 --> 04:58.381 done. 05:00.842 --> 05:01.801 We are. 05:01.884 --> 05:03.970 My flight doesn't leave until tomorrow morning. 05:05.263 --> 05:07.056 Or I could change it... 05:08.182 --> 05:09.475 to today. 05:09.559 --> 05:11.728 Or you could stay. You wanna come to a show? 05:22.572 --> 05:24.615 [door opens] 05:24.699 --> 05:26.242 -What the-- -Uncle Nick! 05:26.326 --> 05:27.869 Charlotte! What -- What are you doing here? 05:27.952 --> 05:30.997 Clearly, we had the same idea. 05:32.081 --> 05:34.042 [chuckling] Can you give me a minute? 05:35.793 --> 05:36.794 Just a minute. 05:36.878 --> 05:39.589 ♪♪ 05:39.672 --> 05:40.965 [laughs] 05:41.049 --> 05:42.342 Sorry. 05:42.425 --> 05:45.011 -Ellis! -Ellis? 05:45.928 --> 05:47.138 -[door closes] -Where is that girl? 05:47.221 --> 05:48.306 Well, she's not in the bathroom. 05:48.389 --> 05:50.683 -Ugh, God. -Are you okay? 05:50.767 --> 05:53.311 My sinuses have just turned into a vise around my brain. 05:54.270 --> 05:55.438 [sighs] 05:55.521 --> 05:56.939 Hey, doesn't she love to hide in her closet? 05:57.023 --> 05:59.442 -I checked. She's not there. -Ellis! 05:59.525 --> 06:01.486 How am I gonna tell Meredith I lost one of her kids? 06:01.569 --> 06:03.363 We didn't lose her -- we just don't know where she is. 06:03.446 --> 06:04.572 Ellis! 06:04.655 --> 06:05.740 I can just hear Meredith now. 06:05.823 --> 06:08.159 "I always knew it was gonna be you." 06:08.242 --> 06:10.286 -I found her! -Oop. 06:10.370 --> 06:12.121 Mm. Mm. 06:13.081 --> 06:14.415 Here I come. 06:17.418 --> 06:18.795 Are you okay? 06:18.920 --> 06:20.171 Did I win? 06:20.254 --> 06:21.381 [laughs] Yeah, you sure did. 06:21.506 --> 06:23.466 -Let's play again. -No, let's not. 06:23.549 --> 06:26.594 Why don't you two go get a juice box, all right? 06:26.677 --> 06:28.513 And I'll be right there in a second. 06:29.180 --> 06:30.640 -Ugh... -[sighs] 06:30.723 --> 06:32.225 -Hey, let me handle it. -Mm. 06:32.308 --> 06:34.227 All right? You rest. 06:34.352 --> 06:36.479 Look how level-headed I was during all that. 06:36.562 --> 06:37.605 [both laugh] 06:37.688 --> 06:39.065 What is this? 06:42.026 --> 06:43.319 [sighs] 06:46.072 --> 06:48.908 Oh, this looks like some of Ellis' old stuff. 06:48.991 --> 06:51.911 I thought Meredith had all of this stuff put in storage. 06:51.994 --> 06:53.329 Can I keep this? 06:53.413 --> 06:54.705 I don't see why not. 06:54.789 --> 06:55.998 I mean, we can ask your mom. 06:56.624 --> 06:58.292 [gasps] Wow. 06:59.544 --> 07:00.753 Wow. 07:01.712 --> 07:03.756 Is this for you, Aunt Maggie? 07:04.966 --> 07:10.430 ♪♪ 07:10.721 --> 07:12.056 [breathes sharply] 07:13.099 --> 07:16.936 ♪♪ 07:35.913 --> 07:38.749 -Hi. -[Charlotte] Hey. [laughs] 07:39.750 --> 07:41.461 Okay, let's try this again. 07:41.544 --> 07:43.129 Uh, Meredith, this is my niece, Charlotte. 07:43.212 --> 07:46.007 -Charlotte, this is Dr. Meredith Grey. -Hi, Charlotte. 07:46.090 --> 07:47.383 It's really nice to meet you. 07:47.467 --> 07:48.885 He talks about you all the time. 07:48.968 --> 07:50.720 Aww. Wait, Dr. Grey? 07:50.803 --> 07:52.346 As in the -- the surgeon that saved your kidney? 07:52.430 --> 07:54.098 Life. But, yes, same one. 07:54.182 --> 07:55.975 You forgot to mention that she's your girlfriend. 07:56.058 --> 07:58.144 Well, I wanted to properly introduce you two. 07:58.227 --> 07:59.479 Well, that was definitely an introduction. 07:59.562 --> 08:01.772 [chuckles] And, um, are you supposed 08:01.856 --> 08:03.274 to be dating your patients? 08:03.357 --> 08:05.067 He's not my patient anymore, so it's fine. 08:05.610 --> 08:08.070 -Who's this? -Oh, uh, this is Silver. 08:08.154 --> 08:10.281 Silver? Okay. Nice to meet you. 08:10.364 --> 08:11.991 You guys, uh, friends, or... 08:12.074 --> 08:13.451 -More like soul mates. -"Soul mates"? 08:13.534 --> 08:14.994 It's like we've known each other lifetimes. 08:15.077 --> 08:16.454 Eras. 08:16.537 --> 08:18.664 ♪♪ 08:18.748 --> 08:20.666 Long time. Pretty far away from school. 08:20.750 --> 08:23.336 You know, mid-terms. I'm starving. 08:23.419 --> 08:25.213 -I saw steak. -I can eat. 08:25.296 --> 08:27.340 ♪♪ 08:29.550 --> 08:31.344 -Let's eat. -Let's eat. 08:31.427 --> 08:33.012 ♪♪ 08:34.639 --> 08:36.182 Are you gonna open it? 08:36.307 --> 08:38.559 Well, it could be for another Margaret. 08:43.606 --> 08:45.816 You know, after my mom died... 08:46.651 --> 08:49.529 there was a fire in my grandmother's house, 08:49.612 --> 08:50.988 and it burned up a good part of it, 08:51.072 --> 08:53.699 including the bedroom where my brother and I kept 08:53.783 --> 08:55.159 a lot of our stuff in storage. 08:55.701 --> 08:57.870 I lost a lot of pictures and books, 08:57.954 --> 09:00.081 and I lost the last birthday card 09:00.164 --> 09:01.958 my mom had given me. 09:04.377 --> 09:05.711 I was devastated. 09:07.838 --> 09:11.300 And to this day, I still dream about... 09:11.384 --> 09:13.636 seeing her handwriting again. 09:15.471 --> 09:16.973 You don't even have to read it, 09:17.056 --> 09:18.474 but it's nice that you have it. 09:18.558 --> 09:24.021 ♪♪ 09:24.105 --> 09:26.274 ♪ When I think of you, I don't know what to do ♪ 09:26.357 --> 09:29.026 Do you want a soda? A water? 09:29.110 --> 09:31.529 I would love a ginger ale. 09:31.612 --> 09:33.531 Can I get a ginger ale and Coke, please? 09:34.240 --> 09:35.533 [chuckles] 09:35.616 --> 09:37.785 I spent a lot of time in places like this 09:37.868 --> 09:39.036 -when I was younger. -[chuckles] 09:39.120 --> 09:41.205 -What was that Amelia like? -Lucky to have survived. 09:41.289 --> 09:42.331 High most of the time. 09:42.415 --> 09:44.875 Doing things she could not remember the next day. 09:44.959 --> 09:47.837 -Probably still brilliant. -They call it high-functioning. 09:47.920 --> 09:50.256 Well, this Amelia just helped a million patients 09:50.339 --> 09:53.259 get one step closer to a cure for their horrible disease. 09:53.968 --> 09:55.636 To the one who drilled the holes. 09:55.720 --> 09:56.971 To us. 09:57.638 --> 09:59.974 [indistinct chatter] 10:00.057 --> 10:01.976 ♪♪ 10:02.977 --> 10:05.146 [food sizzling lightly] 10:06.022 --> 10:07.398 -Are you okay? -Yeah. 10:07.481 --> 10:09.191 Not exactly the night I had planned, 10:09.275 --> 10:10.943 but I'm still gonna make you the perfect steak. 10:11.027 --> 10:13.195 If Silver doesn't eat it first. 10:13.279 --> 10:14.780 Yes, that is true. 10:14.864 --> 10:16.240 A little more cheese would go a long way. 10:19.076 --> 10:20.870 -So, Silver. -[Silver] Hmm? 10:20.953 --> 10:22.121 -Cool name. -Yeah. 10:22.204 --> 10:23.664 -Real cool. -It feels like who I am 10:23.748 --> 10:24.749 in this moment, you know? 10:24.832 --> 10:26.500 Bright, but overlooked. 10:27.293 --> 10:30.421 When I first met Silver, his name was actually Oak, 10:30.504 --> 10:32.381 but he's much more of a Silver now. 10:33.466 --> 10:35.635 I'm sorry -- [stammers] Silver's not your real name? 10:35.718 --> 10:37.053 Oh, it is... for now. Yeah. 10:37.136 --> 10:38.929 Uh, we're always evolving, you know? 10:39.013 --> 10:40.681 So, I change my name each time I feel 10:40.765 --> 10:42.975 -like a different person. -Huh. 10:43.059 --> 10:44.810 -Is that often? -No more than the next person. 10:44.894 --> 10:46.103 [chuckles] 10:46.187 --> 10:47.271 Mmm. 10:47.355 --> 10:48.272 Mmm, that's good. 10:48.356 --> 10:49.690 A little salty. 10:52.526 --> 10:53.444 Where did you two meet? 10:53.527 --> 10:55.237 -In the woods. -[chuckles] 10:55.321 --> 10:58.115 Charlotte participated in one of my micro-dosing experiences. 10:59.158 --> 11:00.576 -Drugs? -Psilocybin. 11:00.660 --> 11:02.286 -So, 'shrooms? -Calm down. 11:02.370 --> 11:03.871 Real low doses. You don't even feel it. 11:03.954 --> 11:05.539 As I understand it, micro-dosing therapy 11:05.623 --> 11:07.124 is for people with, uh, anxiety, 11:07.208 --> 11:08.876 depression, substance abuse issues. 11:08.959 --> 11:10.294 Does that describe you, Charlotte? 11:12.129 --> 11:14.173 We use it to get in touch with our shadow selves -- 11:14.256 --> 11:16.717 the parts of us that we're ashamed and scared of. 11:16.801 --> 11:18.302 Not what it's for. Meredith? 11:18.386 --> 11:21.138 -Yeah? -Uh, micro-dosing therapy-- 11:21.222 --> 11:22.973 -know anything about it? -I... 11:23.057 --> 11:26.185 -have read some of the science, sure. -Mm-hmm. 11:26.268 --> 11:30.231 I'm not sure I'm as educated on it as Silver is. 11:31.315 --> 11:33.150 So, are you guys in some of the same classes, or...? 11:33.234 --> 11:34.652 Nope. Uh, are we ready to eat? 11:34.735 --> 11:35.778 [Silver] I'm not really a college type of guy. 11:36.195 --> 11:37.530 I'm more of a student of life. [chuckles] 11:37.613 --> 11:39.532 So, as a student of life, what do you do? 11:39.615 --> 11:41.283 We can learn a lot more from traveling the world 11:41.367 --> 11:42.576 than sitting in a classroom. 11:43.661 --> 11:46.330 Okay, we're definitely ready to eat. 11:46.414 --> 11:47.665 Mm. [sniffles] 11:47.748 --> 11:50.251 We plan to really study everything around us in Costa Rica. 11:51.252 --> 11:52.920 -[clears throat] -[Nick] I'm sorry. "Costa Rica"? 11:53.003 --> 11:55.214 Are you guys planning a trip after the semester's over? 11:55.297 --> 11:57.383 -In two weeks. -Is this some sort of study abroad? 11:57.466 --> 12:00.344 Why pay tuition when you can just go for a few months? 12:01.011 --> 12:03.139 -I was gonna tell you. -Tell me what? 12:04.390 --> 12:07.101 I'm leaving school. 12:07.184 --> 12:11.939 ♪♪ 12:13.899 --> 12:16.026 [birds chirping] 12:16.110 --> 12:17.611 [sniffles] 12:17.695 --> 12:20.948 ♪♪ 12:23.534 --> 12:25.035 [sighs] 12:27.663 --> 12:31.500 ♪♪ 12:34.628 --> 12:36.505 [Ellis] I have to admit that letter writing 12:36.589 --> 12:39.091 is my preferred form of communication. 12:39.550 --> 12:41.761 You're able to say what you need to say 12:41.844 --> 12:45.431 without rude interruption or interference. 12:45.514 --> 12:48.476 "There are things I should probably say to you, Margaret, 12:48.559 --> 12:50.978 and there's no time like the present. 12:51.061 --> 12:53.564 My recent diagnosis has forced me 12:53.647 --> 12:55.524 to think about my own mortality. 12:56.275 --> 12:58.235 The past." 12:58.319 --> 12:59.737 "And mistakes." 12:59.820 --> 13:03.866 ♪♪ 13:07.161 --> 13:09.455 "You know, I think I got my desire to take care of people 13:09.538 --> 13:10.998 -from my mother." -I can't believe it's you. 13:11.081 --> 13:13.375 "She was the quintessential housewife." 13:14.418 --> 13:16.128 "And everything, down to the pleats 13:16.253 --> 13:19.465 in my A-line skirt, had to be perfect. 13:19.548 --> 13:21.175 But that wasn't enough for my father. 13:21.258 --> 13:23.177 He slept with all of his secretaries. 13:23.260 --> 13:24.428 Even the married ones. 13:24.512 --> 13:27.431 My mother hated it, but clearly not enough to say a word. 13:27.515 --> 13:30.476 But I swore I'd never become someone's doormat." 13:30.559 --> 13:32.812 I would never have taken you as the doormat type. 13:33.771 --> 13:35.397 I wasn't. 13:35.481 --> 13:37.525 Who are you? This letter is for my daughter. 13:37.608 --> 13:39.485 It's-It's... I'm-I'm-I'm Maggie. 13:40.152 --> 13:41.654 Margaret. Your daughter. 13:41.737 --> 13:43.572 I-I am one of your daughters. 13:45.199 --> 13:46.408 Hmm. 13:47.243 --> 13:48.327 Where was I? 13:48.410 --> 13:50.079 [paper rustles] 13:50.162 --> 13:53.082 "I swore I'd never follow my mother's example. 13:53.749 --> 13:55.209 Well, that was short-lived. 13:55.292 --> 13:57.044 I ended up as Richard Webber's doormat. 13:57.127 --> 13:58.546 Oh, how I loved that man. 13:58.629 --> 14:00.506 Even the part of him that was married, 14:00.840 --> 14:03.759 because that meant I could never end up like my mother..." 14:03.843 --> 14:05.594 -Don't hover over me! -[gasps] 14:05.678 --> 14:06.804 Y-You're distracting me. 14:06.887 --> 14:08.347 I'm sorry, I... 14:08.430 --> 14:09.807 I'm s-- Please. 14:09.890 --> 14:11.225 [breathes sharply] Don't go. 14:11.308 --> 14:12.726 Please, just keep reading. 14:12.810 --> 14:15.688 ♪♪ 14:15.771 --> 14:17.356 [clears throat] 14:18.107 --> 14:19.650 Hey. Hey, you two. Hey. 14:19.733 --> 14:20.776 -Why don't you come sit down... -Give it back! 14:20.860 --> 14:22.069 -...so that we can play "Connect Four"? -Give me the bear! 14:22.152 --> 14:23.737 -No! Give me the bear! -And we can be real quiet 14:23.821 --> 14:25.447 so that your Aunt Maggie can get some sleep, okay? 14:25.531 --> 14:26.448 No, he's mine! 14:26.532 --> 14:27.783 I'll teach you my game strategy if you come sit down. 14:27.867 --> 14:29.326 -Always choose yellow... -[Bailey] Give it back! 14:29.410 --> 14:31.871 ...if you want to win. Aren't you tired yet? 14:33.330 --> 14:34.290 Whew. 14:34.373 --> 14:37.293 Were you scared when your mom died? 14:39.211 --> 14:40.629 -Um... -[glass taps lightly] 14:40.713 --> 14:42.506 Yeah, I'm -- I-I was. 14:43.549 --> 14:45.467 I was -- I-I was a lot of things. 14:45.926 --> 14:49.054 I was scared when I thought my mom was dying. 14:49.138 --> 14:50.723 Yeah, I was, too. 14:50.806 --> 14:52.766 But thankfully, she's here now. 14:52.850 --> 14:55.227 -She's okay. -Yeah, but I'm... 14:55.895 --> 14:57.062 still scared. 14:58.022 --> 15:00.274 Yeah, I understand that. But you know what? 15:00.357 --> 15:02.401 I think all we can do... 15:02.484 --> 15:05.362 is try to take advantage of the time we have now 15:05.446 --> 15:07.698 -with the people we love. -[Bailey] It's mine! It's mine! 15:07.781 --> 15:08.866 -Give me it! -It's mine! Stop! 15:08.949 --> 15:10.868 -[metal clattering] -[Bailey] Ow! 15:10.951 --> 15:12.411 -[Winston] Oh. Uh-oh, okay. -[Zola] Oh, God. 15:12.494 --> 15:13.537 What happened? What, what, what, what, what? 15:13.621 --> 15:14.830 -What happened? What happened? -[sobbing] 15:14.914 --> 15:16.624 -Oh. -Oh, are you okay? 15:16.707 --> 15:18.125 Ooh, okay. 15:18.208 --> 15:19.710 -[both sobbing] -Ow. 15:19.793 --> 15:21.420 [Charlotte] [chuckling] I swear, I was gonna tell you. 15:21.503 --> 15:22.713 -When? -Soon? 15:22.796 --> 15:24.048 I knew you were gonna do this. 15:24.131 --> 15:25.424 I knew you were gonna be you and freak out. 15:25.507 --> 15:27.343 I'm sorry. How am I supposed to react to the news 15:27.426 --> 15:28.761 you're dropping out of college? 15:28.844 --> 15:30.179 I'm taking time off. 15:30.262 --> 15:31.388 Charlotte, you have two years left. 15:31.472 --> 15:33.015 I want to travel now. 15:33.098 --> 15:35.392 You finish, then you travel the world. 15:35.476 --> 15:36.852 -That's how it works. -The world really is the best classroom. 15:36.936 --> 15:38.228 Dude. Please? 15:38.312 --> 15:39.730 He's not entirely wrong. 15:39.813 --> 15:41.732 -Are you serious? -Will you just listen? 15:41.815 --> 15:43.943 Silver and I want to elevate ourselves, 15:44.026 --> 15:46.111 and Costa Rica's all about wellness -- 15:46.195 --> 15:47.863 I'm planning some sweet meditation workshops. 15:47.947 --> 15:49.281 Man, you've got to stop talking. 15:49.365 --> 15:51.951 We're gonna stay in an eco-lodge and be surrounded by nature. 15:52.034 --> 15:54.078 Are you hearing yourself, or am I the only one that thinks 15:54.161 --> 15:56.413 this sounds ridiculous? Please, help me out here. 15:58.082 --> 16:00.042 -Wow, thank you. -You know what? 16:00.125 --> 16:02.127 -It's not your decision to make. -How you gonna pay for it? 16:02.211 --> 16:04.171 I have money saved, and we're gonna make some more 16:04.254 --> 16:06.048 with Silver's... workshops. 16:06.131 --> 16:08.175 -They're pay-what-you-can. -That sounds about right. 16:08.258 --> 16:09.969 So, what happens when you change your mind 16:10.386 --> 16:12.346 about the eco-lodge and your soul mate? 16:12.429 --> 16:14.306 You know, when Silver here turns to Bronze. 16:14.390 --> 16:16.016 You're gonna be stuck in Costa Rica with no money. 16:16.100 --> 16:17.643 Who you gonna call then, huh? 16:18.268 --> 16:19.436 Not you. 16:19.520 --> 16:20.980 I'm the only one you can call! 16:23.524 --> 16:25.275 [silverware clatters lightly] 16:25.818 --> 16:27.987 I think this steak's Wagyu. 16:30.155 --> 16:32.950 -An afterlife? Really? -You seem surprised. 16:33.033 --> 16:34.076 'Cause you're a neuroscientist. 16:34.159 --> 16:35.995 Who doesn't believe this is all there is. 16:36.078 --> 16:39.456 I think that this life is part of one long journey. 16:39.540 --> 16:41.959 I don't think I want to keep living life after life. 16:42.042 --> 16:43.127 It sounds exhausting. 16:43.210 --> 16:45.254 Well, I'd like to think we do better each time. 16:45.337 --> 16:48.590 So, the next one will be decent? 16:48.674 --> 16:50.009 Exactly. 16:50.092 --> 16:53.637 So, to temper your expectations... 16:53.721 --> 16:55.889 the band is okay. 16:55.973 --> 16:57.224 The vibe is good. 16:57.307 --> 16:58.976 I would listen to bad karaoke right now. 16:59.685 --> 17:01.437 -Can you watch my Coke? -Mm-hmm. 17:02.563 --> 17:04.273 [drum solo plays] 17:05.024 --> 17:06.233 [indistinct conversations] 17:06.316 --> 17:07.860 All right, guys. 17:09.570 --> 17:11.321 [drumsticks tap rhythmically] 17:11.405 --> 17:12.906 ["Trouble" plays] 17:12.990 --> 17:14.324 ♪♪ 17:14.408 --> 17:18.495 ♪ You been causing me trouble And keeping me up ♪ 17:18.579 --> 17:20.664 ♪♪ 17:20.748 --> 17:22.833 ♪ Throw your rock at my window ♪ 17:22.916 --> 17:24.960 ♪ I'm calling your bluff ♪ 17:25.044 --> 17:26.545 ♪♪ 17:26.628 --> 17:30.132 ♪ An eye for an eye Doesn't seem too unfair ♪ 17:30.215 --> 17:33.135 -♪ If you stare long enough ♪ -[crowd cheers] 17:33.218 --> 17:36.346 ♪ Keep your hands off my phone And I'll leave you alone ♪ 17:36.430 --> 17:38.932 ♪ Do you miss me or what? ♪ 17:39.016 --> 17:43.520 -♪♪ -[crowd cheers] 17:43.604 --> 17:49.193 ♪ And when the night comes, I hope I'm causin' you trouble ♪ 17:50.152 --> 17:54.531 ♪ And when the night comes, I hope I'm keepin' you up ♪ 17:54.656 --> 17:56.241 ♪♪ 17:56.325 --> 18:01.914 ♪ And when the night comes, I hope I'm causin' you trouble ♪ 18:02.122 --> 18:05.751 ♪ And keepin' you, and keepin' you up ♪ 18:07.211 --> 18:11.673 ♪♪ 18:11.757 --> 18:16.929 ♪♪ 18:18.430 --> 18:21.225 [falling fabric echoes] 18:21.308 --> 18:25.229 ♪♪ 18:25.312 --> 18:27.981 [rustling clothes echo] 18:28.065 --> 18:31.151 [heavy breathing echoes] 18:31.235 --> 18:36.990 ♪♪ 18:37.074 --> 18:41.995 ♪♪ 18:42.412 --> 18:44.998 [deep breath echoes] 18:45.082 --> 18:50.462 ♪♪ 18:50.546 --> 18:55.008 [deep breath echoes] 18:55.092 --> 18:59.513 ♪♪ 18:59.638 --> 19:01.557 [deep breath echoes] 19:01.974 --> 19:06.395 ♪♪ 19:12.317 --> 19:14.528 I used to be Charlotte. 19:14.611 --> 19:17.948 I had pink hair, traveled all over Europe. 19:19.116 --> 19:20.993 I had soul mates that were fun. 19:21.076 --> 19:22.703 [wood splinters] 19:24.621 --> 19:26.582 -That supposed to make me feel better? -Maybe. 19:26.665 --> 19:28.542 I'm just saying, things worked out okay for me. 19:28.625 --> 19:30.919 When I thought I was dying, what did I ask you to do for Charlotte? 19:31.003 --> 19:32.421 To make sure she got an education. 19:32.504 --> 19:33.797 That's right. 19:34.548 --> 19:36.425 Then you should know this isn't really up for discussion. 19:36.508 --> 19:37.634 Because of your sister? 19:37.718 --> 19:39.178 I'm not gonna talk about my sister right now. 19:40.512 --> 19:42.806 If you keep trying to control her, you... 19:43.724 --> 19:45.267 you will lose her. 19:45.976 --> 19:48.937 You have to find a way to let her be who she is. 19:49.021 --> 19:52.065 That's the one thing I do know about being a 20-year-old woman. 19:52.149 --> 19:53.650 It's hard. I get it. 19:53.734 --> 19:55.444 No, you do not get it. 19:55.527 --> 19:57.321 You had a mother who was a surgical genius. 19:57.404 --> 20:00.490 She had a woman who couldn't recognize her 9 times out of 10. 20:00.949 --> 20:03.035 She's genetically programmed to make huge mistakes, 20:03.118 --> 20:04.620 and I've spent the last 10 years trying 20:04.703 --> 20:05.871 to make sure that that does not happen. 20:05.954 --> 20:07.748 So, no, you do not get it. 20:08.498 --> 20:10.167 [axe thumps softly] 20:10.250 --> 20:13.086 ♪♪ 20:13.170 --> 20:15.339 [wood clatters] 20:16.256 --> 20:18.175 ♪♪ 20:23.680 --> 20:25.432 She pushed me into the fireplace. 20:25.515 --> 20:27.601 -Ellis! -He pushed me first! 20:27.684 --> 20:29.895 -He's my bear. -No, it's mine! 20:29.978 --> 20:31.772 -No, give me it! Stop! -Give me! Ah! 20:31.855 --> 20:33.065 Hey, we want Aunt Maggie to stay asleep 20:33.148 --> 20:35.150 so she doesn't see the blood on the carpet, okay? 20:35.234 --> 20:37.277 -How much blood is there? -Barely any. 20:37.361 --> 20:39.321 And I told you not to run in the house. 20:39.404 --> 20:41.114 You always run in the house. 20:41.198 --> 20:42.574 You know what? 20:43.033 --> 20:45.285 We are gonna play emergency room. 20:45.369 --> 20:47.120 -Is that a game? -Yeah. 20:47.204 --> 20:48.413 It's an exciting one, too. 20:48.497 --> 20:50.290 -Can I play? -You're our patient. 20:50.374 --> 20:52.125 And, Zola, you're my resident, 20:52.209 --> 20:54.169 so you will assist me with the surgery. 20:54.253 --> 20:55.629 -Will you prepare the antiseptic? -Mm-hmm. 20:55.712 --> 20:57.714 -Surgery? -It's like a play surgery. 20:57.798 --> 20:59.132 You know, like, pretend. It's make-believe. 20:59.216 --> 21:01.134 -It'll be fun. -Here you go. 21:01.218 --> 21:02.594 Thank you, Dr. Grey-Shepherd. 21:02.678 --> 21:04.012 You're welcome, Dr. Ndugu. 21:04.096 --> 21:05.347 We're going to clean the cut first, 21:05.430 --> 21:07.099 and then we're going to apply gauze 21:07.182 --> 21:08.642 to protect the skin and help with healing. 21:11.979 --> 21:14.523 [humming "Hush, Little Baby"] 21:14.606 --> 21:18.944 ♪♪ 21:19.027 --> 21:22.197 -♪ Hush, little baby, don't say a word ♪ -[Maggie breathing sharply] 21:22.281 --> 21:24.908 ♪ Papa's gonna buy you a mockingbird ♪ 21:24.992 --> 21:26.451 Did you ever think about me? 21:26.535 --> 21:27.911 ♪ And if that mockingbird don't sing ♪ 21:27.995 --> 21:30.038 -Or did you ever try to contact me... -♪ Papa's gonna buy you ♪ 21:30.122 --> 21:31.748 -...or want to contact me? -♪ A diamond ring ♪ 21:31.832 --> 21:33.875 -♪ And if that diamond ring-- ♪ -Stop singing, please. 21:34.459 --> 21:36.378 "I used to be so unsure of myself. 21:36.461 --> 21:38.338 I constantly listened to everyone else -- 21:38.422 --> 21:40.048 advisors, attendings, even other residents -- 21:40.132 --> 21:41.967 but I never listened to the voice inside. 21:42.050 --> 21:44.511 -To what I wanted." -Is that why you gave me up? 21:44.594 --> 21:46.638 "I didn't even want to go into general surgery initially. 21:46.722 --> 21:49.516 I wanted to do cardio, but I talked myself out of it. 21:49.599 --> 21:51.184 I forced myself out of it." 21:51.268 --> 21:52.769 You wanted to go into cardio? 21:52.853 --> 21:54.313 "I would have been extraordinary." 21:54.396 --> 21:55.856 I am extraordinary! 21:55.939 --> 21:58.150 I went into cardio. Ellis, is that because of you? 21:58.233 --> 21:59.568 How should I know? 21:59.651 --> 22:00.902 Because... 22:01.611 --> 22:04.364 I a-am your daughter. I... 22:05.741 --> 22:08.785 Please, look at me! Please! Please! See me! Please! 22:08.869 --> 22:10.203 "Regrets are useless, though. 22:10.287 --> 22:11.496 They make you weak. 22:11.580 --> 22:13.290 Always pining for something out of your control. 22:13.373 --> 22:15.334 That's why I became a remarkable surgeon -- 22:15.417 --> 22:18.420 because I never let the inconsequential get in my way." 22:18.503 --> 22:19.796 [scoffs] 22:19.880 --> 22:21.173 I was inconsequential? 22:21.256 --> 22:23.008 Margaret, would you stop interrupting? 22:25.510 --> 22:27.679 [humming "Hush, Little Baby"] 22:27.763 --> 22:29.264 ♪♪ 22:29.348 --> 22:30.974 [exhales sharply] 22:31.058 --> 22:33.101 [door creaks lightly] 22:35.395 --> 22:38.148 [snoring softly] 22:42.152 --> 22:43.612 [door closes] 22:45.864 --> 22:48.909 -Your sister's kids are cute. -[Kai] Yeah, they're adorable. 22:48.992 --> 22:50.202 PB&J? 22:50.285 --> 22:51.787 -Yeah! -[chuckles] 22:53.705 --> 22:57.376 Did you ever feel the kid and marriage pressure? 22:57.459 --> 23:00.629 Mm, my grandmother guilts me every Thanksgiving. 23:00.712 --> 23:02.964 -She's not getting any younger. -Mm. 23:03.048 --> 23:05.092 So, plants? 23:05.175 --> 23:08.637 Yeah, mm-hmm. This is Ringo. 23:09.096 --> 23:10.472 Makes sense. 23:10.555 --> 23:12.349 [chuckles] And this is Janis. 23:12.849 --> 23:14.976 -Mm-hmm. -Mm-hmm. 23:15.060 --> 23:17.854 -And that is Tina. -[chuckles] 23:18.772 --> 23:20.190 I actually love kids. 23:21.108 --> 23:22.442 So much that I don't want any. 23:25.821 --> 23:29.699 Being a parent is hard, as you know. Don't touch. 23:29.866 --> 23:32.369 You are responsible for another person's everything. 23:32.452 --> 23:34.746 Shaping their perspective and worldview. 23:34.830 --> 23:37.499 Trying to keep them alive and help them be a decent human being. 23:37.582 --> 23:39.835 All the while, figuring out your own stuff. 23:40.752 --> 23:42.295 Well, yeah. 23:43.088 --> 23:44.714 But there's a lot of love 23:44.798 --> 23:46.925 that kind of comes in to balance all of that. 23:47.008 --> 23:48.301 I love. 23:48.593 --> 23:51.138 I love my plants. 24:01.148 --> 24:03.358 [refrigerator door opens, closes] 24:03.442 --> 24:04.985 -Oh, hi. -Oh, sorry. 24:05.068 --> 24:06.319 I thought Silver was in here. 24:06.403 --> 24:08.071 No, he went outside, I think. 24:08.155 --> 24:09.656 He said something about needing a "pipe." 24:10.907 --> 24:13.743 Um, look, I know we just met, 24:13.827 --> 24:16.288 but, uh, would you mind talking to my uncle for me? 24:16.371 --> 24:18.540 Since you've probably got some sway with him right now. 24:18.623 --> 24:21.918 Charlotte, you remind me so much of myself. 24:23.003 --> 24:25.213 Except you're a lot braver than I was. 24:27.007 --> 24:29.426 I thought I was rebelling against my mother. 24:29.509 --> 24:32.387 In actuality, I was doing exactly what she wanted me to do. 24:33.513 --> 24:35.182 I'm not rebelling. 24:36.475 --> 24:38.185 -Are you sure? -Yes. 24:38.268 --> 24:39.436 Yeah, I'm sure. 24:39.519 --> 24:43.815 I just -- I don't know. I want something new, different. 24:45.317 --> 24:46.860 -Change. Yeah. -Yeah. 24:46.943 --> 24:48.987 The last two years were not what I expected, 24:49.070 --> 24:51.281 and I've been thinking about, you know, 24:51.406 --> 24:54.951 the way I want to live my life, and maybe it's not like other people 24:55.035 --> 24:57.287 or like how my uncle wants me to. 24:57.370 --> 24:59.122 -You know he means well. -[sighs] 24:59.206 --> 25:01.374 He is so worried about me becoming my mother 25:01.458 --> 25:04.711 that he doesn't see, you know, who I'm actually becoming. 25:04.794 --> 25:07.547 ♪♪ 25:07.631 --> 25:10.050 Very hard to live outside the shadow of your parents. 25:10.133 --> 25:11.593 Yeah, well, he's making it harder. 25:11.676 --> 25:13.553 It's always been his way or no way. 25:14.387 --> 25:16.556 You'll see that... eventually. 25:16.681 --> 25:18.308 -♪♪ -[door creaks open softly] 25:18.391 --> 25:19.809 Will you talk to him? 25:19.893 --> 25:21.269 ♪♪ 25:21.353 --> 25:22.938 [door closes] 25:23.522 --> 25:26.525 You can. You can. 25:26.650 --> 25:31.613 ♪♪ 25:34.658 --> 25:37.911 "I stopped doing what was expected of me after Richard. 25:37.994 --> 25:41.873 I started doing what was best for me, and only me." 25:41.957 --> 25:44.125 Now, I'm not judging you for giving me up. 25:44.209 --> 25:45.794 I just feel like you're ashamed of me. 25:45.877 --> 25:47.462 I'm the child of an affair 25:47.546 --> 25:49.631 with a married man who didn't choose you. 25:51.508 --> 25:52.759 Tell me I'm wrong. 25:52.842 --> 25:54.594 "The first time I met Bill and Diane, 25:54.678 --> 25:56.596 I was so nervous that they would judge me. 25:56.680 --> 25:57.681 But it was nothing like that. 25:57.764 --> 26:00.600 They we really kind, loving, hardworking people 26:00.684 --> 26:02.769 who really wanted a child." 26:02.852 --> 26:04.437 You chose my parents? 26:04.521 --> 26:07.232 "I knew you were going to be in good hands. 26:07.315 --> 26:10.151 They were my first choice. I just knew." 26:11.570 --> 26:13.655 "They asked if I wanted the occasional update 26:13.738 --> 26:15.073 about how you were doing." 26:15.156 --> 26:17.158 -They did? -"Of course, I declined." 26:17.242 --> 26:19.369 -You declined? -Hmm. 26:19.452 --> 26:21.663 I'm not a dinner invitation, Ellis. 26:21.746 --> 26:23.915 ♪♪ 26:23.999 --> 26:25.375 [breathes sharply] 26:25.458 --> 26:28.628 You declined? You weren't the least bit curious about me? 26:28.712 --> 26:31.631 You're the one who thinks that everything you touch is extraordinary. 26:31.715 --> 26:33.341 Didn't want to see if I fit the bill? 26:33.425 --> 26:35.343 No, no, no. Look at me, Ellis. 26:35.427 --> 26:37.512 You don't get to avoid me now. 26:37.596 --> 26:39.347 -Look at me! -What do you want me to say?! 26:39.431 --> 26:40.515 That I wish it was different? 26:40.599 --> 26:43.476 That I wish that you and Meredith and me and Richard 26:43.560 --> 26:45.687 could have been one big, happy family? 26:45.770 --> 26:47.063 Well, that was a childish fantasy. 26:47.147 --> 26:49.899 -It was never gonna happen! -I -- I'm here. 26:49.983 --> 26:53.069 Living every day in the shadow of the great Ellis Grey. 26:53.153 --> 26:55.280 Her living and breathing and walking and talking mistake, 26:55.363 --> 26:57.324 the one who wasn't good enough to be approved. 26:57.407 --> 26:59.284 You don't know how hard it was for me. 26:59.367 --> 27:01.578 But I picked up the pieces, and I moved on. 27:01.661 --> 27:03.788 And I did it -- on my own. 27:03.872 --> 27:05.707 And I spent every day 27:05.790 --> 27:07.167 wondering why I wasn't worthy. 27:07.250 --> 27:09.169 Didn't you ever think about how I might feel? 27:09.252 --> 27:11.296 I made a decision, and I stood by it. 27:11.379 --> 27:14.049 That decision not to see you I do not regret one bit. 27:14.132 --> 27:16.426 That decision I am proud of! 27:16.509 --> 27:19.429 [screams] 27:19.512 --> 27:21.681 [breathing heavily] 27:21.806 --> 27:23.725 ♪♪ 27:23.808 --> 27:25.060 [sighs] 27:25.143 --> 27:26.269 [crying] 27:26.353 --> 27:27.604 ♪♪ 27:27.687 --> 27:29.856 [running footsteps approaching] 27:29.939 --> 27:31.316 -[door opens] -Baby, hey. 27:31.399 --> 27:33.026 What happened? What's going on? 27:33.109 --> 27:34.235 -Are you okay? -[exhales sharply] 27:34.319 --> 27:35.654 That woman... 27:36.613 --> 27:38.281 She's awful. She... 27:38.990 --> 27:40.950 [exhales sharply] She was exactly 27:41.034 --> 27:42.202 how Meredith described her. 27:42.702 --> 27:44.537 I don't think I'm gonna finish the letter. 27:45.914 --> 27:47.332 Then don't. 27:48.416 --> 27:50.001 And know that... 27:51.086 --> 27:52.545 whatever it says does not change 27:52.629 --> 27:55.423 the amazing person that you are. 27:58.468 --> 27:59.594 I know. [inhales sharply] 27:59.678 --> 28:01.179 Okay. 28:02.347 --> 28:04.849 I just wish I didn't need her to know that. 28:04.933 --> 28:07.811 ♪♪ 28:07.894 --> 28:09.020 Come here. 28:09.104 --> 28:12.565 ♪♪ 28:16.569 --> 28:18.738 Finishing school is gonna give you more options. 28:18.822 --> 28:20.490 It's something most people do not have. 28:20.573 --> 28:22.617 -Most people, you're talking about Mom? -Yes. 28:22.701 --> 28:25.036 Your mom could have had options, but she threw them all away. 28:25.120 --> 28:28.081 She made the same mistake over and over and over again. 28:28.164 --> 28:30.166 -I know. I was there. -Then act like it! 28:30.250 --> 28:31.251 I'm not her! Oh, my -- 28:31.334 --> 28:33.211 Wait, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Please, stop. 28:33.294 --> 28:34.713 -Stop, stop, stop, stop, stop. -No, no. 28:34.796 --> 28:36.715 Stop, stop, stop. I-I-I -- 28:36.798 --> 28:39.592 Look, I just want what's best for you, okay? 28:39.676 --> 28:41.136 Based on what you want, not what I want. 28:41.219 --> 28:42.887 No, based on a lot of life experience. 28:42.971 --> 28:44.305 You know, most people aren't like you. 28:44.389 --> 28:46.933 Not everyone wakes up one day and immediately knows 28:47.016 --> 28:48.017 what they want to do. 28:48.601 --> 28:51.646 I need to figure some stuff out by myself. 28:52.689 --> 28:54.733 Why can't that be okay? 28:55.984 --> 28:57.235 I just... 28:59.779 --> 29:01.531 I don't want you to have to struggle. 29:02.365 --> 29:04.367 Will you give yourself some more credit? 29:04.451 --> 29:06.578 Have you ever had to bail me out of jail? 29:06.661 --> 29:09.622 Or, like, pick me up off the side of the road? 29:09.706 --> 29:11.750 Or -- I don't know, take pills out of my hand? 29:11.833 --> 29:14.043 -No. -Because you did your job. 29:15.253 --> 29:17.881 I'm okay, and it's because of you 29:18.006 --> 29:21.342 that I can even think about traveling the world. 29:23.136 --> 29:27.640 I will go back to school. I promise. 29:28.391 --> 29:30.226 I'll make sure that I have options. 29:30.310 --> 29:31.770 But in order for me to do that, 29:31.853 --> 29:34.647 you have to stop trying to dictate my every move. 29:35.690 --> 29:37.317 You have to let me mess up 29:37.984 --> 29:40.695 and, like, change my mind a few times. 29:40.779 --> 29:42.280 ♪♪ 29:42.363 --> 29:44.908 -And if I do drugs... -[scoffs] Charlotte. 29:44.991 --> 29:48.286 ...they will be plant-based, okay? 29:48.369 --> 29:50.121 So calm down. 29:50.205 --> 29:52.123 [chuckles] 29:52.248 --> 29:54.000 [sighs] 29:54.083 --> 29:58.463 ♪♪ 29:59.464 --> 30:04.177 ♪♪ 30:05.595 --> 30:09.891 [insects chirping in distance] 30:12.685 --> 30:15.939 [snoring softly] 30:17.148 --> 30:21.778 ♪♪ 30:25.156 --> 30:27.534 -[Ellis] "I do have one regret." -[sighs] 30:27.617 --> 30:29.118 Please, go. 30:29.202 --> 30:31.663 "I do wish that you and Meredith could have met. 30:31.746 --> 30:33.540 She could have used a sister. 30:34.332 --> 30:35.708 She's so much like me. 30:35.792 --> 30:38.002 Stubborn, singular-focused. 30:38.086 --> 30:40.839 I have a feeling you would have been a good influence on her." 30:41.840 --> 30:44.175 True sisters. 30:44.259 --> 30:46.094 ♪♪ 30:46.177 --> 30:47.720 We are. 30:49.681 --> 30:51.641 I wasn't the best mother to Meredith. 30:52.642 --> 30:55.770 I had high expectations which she couldn't always reach. 30:55.895 --> 30:58.773 ♪♪ 30:58.857 --> 31:02.193 But I did my best with you, 31:02.318 --> 31:04.153 by giving you away. 31:04.863 --> 31:07.574 I knew you would be better off with Bill and Diane. 31:07.657 --> 31:08.908 ♪♪ 31:08.992 --> 31:10.368 I was. 31:10.451 --> 31:14.706 ♪♪ 31:17.750 --> 31:23.590 ♪♪ 31:24.299 --> 31:29.220 ♪♪ 31:30.471 --> 31:33.266 Hey, my baby. 31:34.225 --> 31:35.685 -[exhales sharply] -[chuckles] 31:35.768 --> 31:37.103 Mom! 31:37.395 --> 31:39.188 [breathes sharply] 31:39.272 --> 31:40.899 [sighs] 31:40.982 --> 31:42.108 Okay. 31:42.191 --> 31:44.569 [breathes deeply] 31:44.861 --> 31:46.946 [breathes sharply] 31:48.448 --> 31:51.743 ♪♪ 31:51.826 --> 31:53.870 [sniffles] 31:53.953 --> 31:55.914 [exhales sharply] 31:55.997 --> 32:00.001 ♪♪ 32:00.543 --> 32:03.838 [mellow tune plays on guitar] 32:03.922 --> 32:05.798 ♪♪ 32:05.882 --> 32:07.383 [Amelia] When did you get into music? 32:07.467 --> 32:09.302 -A few years ago. -Really? 32:09.385 --> 32:11.596 You looked like you'd been playing since you were a kid. 32:11.679 --> 32:14.349 [chuckles] It started as a dare, actually. 32:14.432 --> 32:16.059 My friend took me to an Open Mic Night, 32:16.142 --> 32:19.062 certain it would cure my hatred of public speaking. 32:19.145 --> 32:21.522 -Didn't work. -[chuckling] Clearly. 32:21.606 --> 32:24.567 No, still hate it, but performing is different. 32:24.651 --> 32:27.070 It's like this deep part of myself 32:27.153 --> 32:29.072 that doesn't get to come out often... 32:30.198 --> 32:31.532 gets to be a rock star. 32:32.825 --> 32:34.953 You're real carefree on stage. 32:35.036 --> 32:36.204 I am. 32:36.704 --> 32:38.122 And self-assured. 32:38.206 --> 32:40.375 ♪♪ 32:40.458 --> 32:42.502 Just when I feel like I'm figuring my stuff out... 32:42.627 --> 32:45.046 [groans] ...life lifes. 32:45.171 --> 32:47.757 Why do you pretend like you're not a rock star yourself? 32:47.840 --> 32:49.968 ♪♪ 32:50.051 --> 32:52.220 Thank you for flattering me. 32:52.303 --> 32:54.055 No, I-I'm wondering. 32:54.138 --> 32:55.890 Why do you self-deprecate? 32:55.974 --> 32:57.642 You're more than that. 32:59.143 --> 33:01.270 [siren wails in distance] 33:03.314 --> 33:04.482 [chuckles] 33:05.775 --> 33:07.610 I don't know. 33:07.735 --> 33:09.195 I guess... 33:09.779 --> 33:12.824 it's kind of become my shield of armor. 33:12.907 --> 33:14.075 Protection. 33:14.158 --> 33:15.743 From what? 33:17.203 --> 33:19.664 From fully loving every part of me. 33:21.165 --> 33:23.084 'Cause if I do, then... 33:24.836 --> 33:27.130 I deserve a love that does the same. 33:27.213 --> 33:30.174 It took me a long time to embrace all of who I am. 33:30.258 --> 33:33.845 So, outside love is like icing. 33:33.928 --> 33:36.848 ♪♪ 33:36.931 --> 33:40.226 I don't even think I know all of who I am. 33:41.019 --> 33:44.939 Well, I'm excited to get to know all of who you are. 33:45.023 --> 33:49.277 ♪♪ 33:49.360 --> 33:50.903 Me, too. 33:50.987 --> 33:52.989 ♪♪ 33:55.199 --> 33:56.492 You sure you two don't wanna come? 33:56.617 --> 33:58.327 Should be a sick full moon ceremony. 33:58.411 --> 33:59.912 Meredith? Sick full moon? 33:59.996 --> 34:01.205 -I'm good. -We'll pass. 34:01.289 --> 34:02.540 It was nice meeting you. 34:02.623 --> 34:04.375 I'm glad my uncle has someone else to worry about. 34:04.459 --> 34:06.335 Have a great time in Costa Rica. 34:06.419 --> 34:07.462 We will. 34:08.504 --> 34:10.631 -So, next weekend, yes? -Yes, yes, yes. 34:10.715 --> 34:12.633 I will come, and I'll give you all the deets about our trip. 34:12.717 --> 34:15.303 You know, coordinates, flights, the trees I'll be touching. 34:15.386 --> 34:17.180 [chuckling] Okay. Goodbye. 34:19.891 --> 34:21.225 [sighs] 34:27.398 --> 34:29.275 I'm sorry our weekend got ruined. 34:30.485 --> 34:33.529 No, these are our lives. 34:33.654 --> 34:35.114 There's no need to apologize for them. 34:35.490 --> 34:36.908 [exhales sharply] 34:42.205 --> 34:43.539 I'm not used to help. 34:44.791 --> 34:46.000 Someone else's opinion. 34:46.084 --> 34:47.543 Well, if you know anything about me, 34:47.627 --> 34:48.795 you'll have to get used to it. 34:48.878 --> 34:50.254 Well, yeah, that's not easy for me. 34:50.338 --> 34:51.714 I mean, how would you feel if I was trying 34:51.798 --> 34:53.216 to give you help when it comes to your sisters? 34:53.299 --> 34:54.675 I wouldn't like it, 34:54.759 --> 34:56.135 and I would tell you you were wrong. 34:56.219 --> 34:58.721 Well, then, we're gonna have to get used to it. 35:03.309 --> 35:05.228 Charlotte's a great girl. 35:05.895 --> 35:07.522 You did a really good job. 35:07.605 --> 35:08.981 The weird thing is, 35:09.065 --> 35:11.234 is I don't want her to end up like me, either. 35:11.317 --> 35:13.361 So rigid one day, she wakes up 35:13.444 --> 35:14.987 and wants to rethink everything. 35:15.071 --> 35:16.197 Is that what you're doing? 35:16.280 --> 35:18.950 I chose a career where saving one life means losing another, 35:19.033 --> 35:22.662 and every case feels harder than the last. 35:22.745 --> 35:24.163 Are you thinking about quitting? 35:24.247 --> 35:25.873 No. [chuckles] 35:26.582 --> 35:27.750 I don't know. 35:29.502 --> 35:30.878 I don't -- I don't know. 35:35.007 --> 35:37.552 You know, Hamilton thinks that I took the Parkinson's project 35:37.635 --> 35:40.054 because I'm really trying to cure Alzheimer's. 35:40.138 --> 35:42.140 -Is that true? -I don't know. 35:42.223 --> 35:44.392 But I also don't know if I can just go back 35:44.475 --> 35:46.644 to Grey-Sloan and be Chief of General anymore. 35:47.228 --> 35:49.147 [sighs lightly] 35:50.356 --> 35:53.025 ♪♪ 35:57.029 --> 35:59.824 You know, I think today, you saw that I'm not the, um -- 36:00.449 --> 36:02.118 I'm not the most, uh... 36:02.368 --> 36:04.620 ♪♪ 36:04.745 --> 36:05.955 Patient? 36:06.038 --> 36:07.707 Yeah, that's it. 36:07.790 --> 36:10.793 Who is patient when it comes to their family? 36:10.877 --> 36:13.462 ♪ Think I got a new philosophy ♪ 36:13.546 --> 36:15.173 Not me. 36:15.256 --> 36:18.843 ♪ I wanna dive right in ♪ 36:18.926 --> 36:20.595 I also have a temper. 36:20.678 --> 36:22.054 -You have a temper? -Yeah. 36:22.138 --> 36:23.472 -Well, I don't believe it. -[chuckles] 36:24.432 --> 36:26.142 [chuckles] 36:26.225 --> 36:28.144 ♪ But I don't think I know how to swim ♪ 36:28.227 --> 36:31.189 I threw a retractor once. Yeah. 36:31.606 --> 36:33.774 About eight years ago, after losing a patient, I -- 36:33.858 --> 36:36.277 ♪ And when I'm standing on the precipice ♪ 36:36.360 --> 36:38.362 I didn't hit anymore, but I-I think about it 36:38.487 --> 36:39.906 about once a day. 36:39.989 --> 36:42.825 I also have a very hard time trusting people. 36:43.618 --> 36:45.786 And if you sell insurance or you don't like dogs, 36:45.870 --> 36:47.246 -you're dead to me. -[chuckles] 36:47.330 --> 36:48.831 -Well, agreed on that. -[chuckles] 36:48.915 --> 36:50.875 ♪ Some days I wonder why I'm doing this ♪ 36:50.958 --> 36:52.376 ♪ So much easier to love regret ♪ 36:52.460 --> 36:53.836 I just... 36:54.545 --> 36:56.839 When I'm falling in love, I-I-I -- 36:58.007 --> 37:01.135 I mean, it scares me because I've done it very rarely in my life. 37:01.219 --> 37:03.137 ♪ My love, if I jumped in ♪ 37:03.221 --> 37:06.349 I just don't love the feeling of losing control. 37:06.432 --> 37:08.517 When you're falling in love? 37:09.852 --> 37:11.896 Yeah, when I'm falling in love. 37:11.979 --> 37:13.856 ♪ I need to know you'll be here ♪ 37:13.940 --> 37:16.567 ♪ My love, if I jumped in ♪ 37:16.651 --> 37:19.362 ♪ Would you save me from drowning? ♪ 37:19.445 --> 37:22.782 ♪ Is it too much to ask, dear? ♪ 37:22.865 --> 37:24.033 ♪ I need to know ♪ 37:24.116 --> 37:26.369 ♪ I need to know you'll be here ♪ 37:27.912 --> 37:30.998 ♪ Stuck on the poolside ♪ 37:31.082 --> 37:33.709 ♪ Trying just to get by ♪ 37:33.793 --> 37:39.090 ♪ Been waiting a long time just to know ♪ 37:40.633 --> 37:44.887 ♪ But the poolside's all I know ♪ 37:46.472 --> 37:48.099 -[Winston] There you go! -Thank you. 37:48.182 --> 37:50.309 -Is Aunt Maggie okay? -Yeah. 37:51.102 --> 37:52.853 She's all right. 37:55.815 --> 37:57.358 Are you okay? 37:58.317 --> 38:01.654 Do you think my birth mother thinks about me? 38:03.823 --> 38:05.157 Do you think about her? 38:05.241 --> 38:08.452 I wonder about her, but I feel bad about it. 38:09.203 --> 38:11.038 I don't want to make my mom sad. 38:11.122 --> 38:13.291 I think it's normal to wonder where we came from 38:13.374 --> 38:14.834 and why we are the way we are. 38:14.917 --> 38:16.210 And we can -- 38:16.294 --> 38:18.504 we can have different feelings about it. 38:18.587 --> 38:19.714 [mouths word] 38:19.797 --> 38:21.841 Growing up, I didn't like being around my dad 38:21.924 --> 38:23.509 because of some of the decisions he made. 38:24.552 --> 38:25.928 But my mom -- 38:26.929 --> 38:28.389 she was my hero. 38:28.472 --> 38:30.349 ♪♪ 38:30.474 --> 38:31.934 So's mine. 38:32.101 --> 38:35.688 ♪ Your eyes look bored, your brow's mean ♪ 38:35.771 --> 38:39.692 ♪♪ 38:39.775 --> 38:43.571 ♪ Looking upon your lit up screen ♪ 38:43.654 --> 38:45.448 ♪♪ 38:45.531 --> 38:47.158 ♪ And the story that plays out... ♪ 38:47.241 --> 38:48.951 You know, you could stay. 38:49.035 --> 38:51.120 -♪ ...is not clean ♪ -[sighs] 38:51.203 --> 38:52.663 -I can't. -Why not? 38:52.747 --> 38:54.123 Because I'm a mom. 38:55.291 --> 38:58.127 And when I'm here in Minnesota... 39:00.254 --> 39:01.756 [sighs] 39:01.839 --> 39:04.258 ...I miss my son with every cell of my body. 39:05.176 --> 39:07.678 And I hope that part of me doesn't scare you away, 39:07.762 --> 39:11.515 because it is a part of me that I truly, deeply love. 39:11.599 --> 39:14.352 ♪ And I'm wandering about upon the stone ♪ 39:14.435 --> 39:15.978 ♪♪ 39:16.062 --> 39:21.275 ♪ And the evening sky is storming, too ♪ 39:21.359 --> 39:23.319 ♪♪ 39:23.402 --> 39:26.864 ♪ Was I better off ♪ 39:26.947 --> 39:29.241 ♪ The less I knew? ♪ 39:29.325 --> 39:32.620 ♪♪ 39:34.872 --> 39:36.165 [Meredith] Who you really are 39:36.248 --> 39:38.209 is the result of many, many things. 39:38.292 --> 39:41.128 ♪ We're coming up in odd days ♪ 39:41.253 --> 39:43.214 How you deal with fear. 39:43.297 --> 39:47.510 ♪ And one person's easy path's Another's maze ♪ 39:47.593 --> 39:49.387 Who you surround yourself with. 39:49.470 --> 39:52.181 ♪ And yet we go on unfazed ♪ 39:52.264 --> 39:54.016 I can't believe she wrote this. 39:55.393 --> 39:57.436 It doesn't even seem like her. 39:58.062 --> 39:59.647 [sighs] 39:59.730 --> 40:01.315 -It's not like she mailed it. -[lighter clicks] 40:02.066 --> 40:04.235 She could have forgotten she wrote it. 40:05.611 --> 40:07.113 Are you glad you read it? 40:07.196 --> 40:08.781 ♪ Above the ground ♪ 40:08.864 --> 40:10.866 I don't know. I just... 40:10.950 --> 40:12.076 ♪ And the cold ♪ 40:12.159 --> 40:14.286 -...felt like I should. -♪ Upon your skin ♪ 40:14.370 --> 40:16.205 ♪ It feels so true ♪ 40:16.288 --> 40:19.083 I used to feel like there was something missing, 40:19.166 --> 40:21.043 and I just figured it was her. 40:21.127 --> 40:24.630 ♪ Were you better off, The less you knew? ♪ 40:24.713 --> 40:26.340 ♪♪ 40:26.424 --> 40:28.092 I don't feel that way anymore. 40:28.175 --> 40:30.344 -♪ And all I see ♪ -Mm-hmm. 40:30.428 --> 40:32.346 ♪ Is greys and greens ♪ 40:32.430 --> 40:34.432 ♪♪ 40:34.515 --> 40:38.436 ♪ With all the other colors in between ♪ 40:38.519 --> 40:40.479 [fire whoosh echoes] 40:41.856 --> 40:43.607 And how you show up when it matters. 40:43.691 --> 40:46.986 ♪♪ 40:48.195 --> 40:52.032 ♪ The less we know, oh-oh ♪ 40:52.116 --> 40:55.828 ♪ The less we know ♪ 40:55.911 --> 41:01.208 ♪ Are we better off the less we know? ♪ 41:14.180 --> 41:19.185 ♪♪ 41:21.896 --> 41:26.734 ♪♪ 41:37.953 --> 41:41.665 ♪♪