WEBVTT

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[Josh Johnson x Vanyo's
"Look Alive" plays]

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[Meredith] In 2019,
the World Health Organization

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officially recognized burnout

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in its International
Classification of Diseases.

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Chief Bailey, everything okay?

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♪ Son of my father ♪

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I'm just, um, waiting to get my smoothie.

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Um, but I was gonna get your smoothie.

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Not today. Today, I'm getting it myself,

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'cause I can't bring myself

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to go into that depressing building.

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Can I help in any way?

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Yeah, just leave me alone.

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[Meredith] Studies show that doctors
who report signs of burnout

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have enlarged amygdalas,

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the area in the brain that
regulates fear and aggression.

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If that's how you speak to your residents,

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no wonder we are on probation.

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-Catherine--
-In your office.

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Now.

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[Meredith] But burnout
isn't an academic exercise.

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It's an all-consuming, systemic condition.

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It's your entire body
sending you one clear message.

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You know what, why don't you go ahead,

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and I'll take them to daycare.

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-Here, give me this.
-Oh. Thank you.

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You sure you're ready?

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I'm cleared for surgery. I'm feeling good.

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I'm just a little... slow.

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Okay. Alright.

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Uh, I'll see you in the pit.
Alright, give Daddy hugs.

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Okay, bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye.

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Mwah. Okay.

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Hey! Look at you.

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My little cowboy.

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I'm not a cowboy. I'm a girl.

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Okay. Alright. Cowgirl.

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[kid] No. I'm just a girl, silly.

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No, honey, you're a boy.

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This is just a cowgirl costume.

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Right? It's pretend, remember?

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-Oh.
-Okay.

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Alright. I'll see you in there.

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-Bye.
-Come on-- Come with me.

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Whoop. Let's go this way.

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[Meredith] Something has to change,
and it has to change now.

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♪ Light the fire, let it rise ♪

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If the surgery program
loses its accreditation,

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there's no guarantee that we'll find

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another residency spot somewhere else.

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I don't think that's gonna happen.

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Well, and even if we do,

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it might not be a surgical residency.

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We might have to switch to something else.

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Like family medicine.

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It's my first day back.

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Would you please consider shutting up?

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[elevator bell dings]

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♪ Light the fire, let it rise ♪

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[elevator bell dings]

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♪ Burn the life into your eyes ♪

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♪ Ooh ♪

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Well, that was awkward.

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♪ So, look alive, look alive ♪

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I have spent years
rebranding this organization

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into something respectable
that bears my name.

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I'm not going to let
my entire legacy shrivel and die

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because one hospital
can't get its crap together.

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Well, don't you think
that's a little extreme?

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The Medical Accreditation Council

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has inquired about visiting 20 different

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Fox Foundation hospitals
as of this morning.

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With all due respect, Catherine,

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you supported the Webber method--

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Are we here to point fingers
or are we here to solve problems?

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[indistinct conversation]

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[woman on PA] Dr. Lawrence to the NICU.

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Dr. Lawrence to the NICU.

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How long have they been in there?

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Well, I've been here 10 minutes,

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and she hasn't let either
of them get a word in.

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I need to tell Bailey
that my fellow quit this morning.

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Makes sense. People start to feel
the ship sink, they jump.

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Oh, my God. Are you still
considering taking that offer?

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I made my decision before I knew
about this probation.

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Tell Nick that you've changed your mind.

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It isn't about Nick.

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Not just about Nick.

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Fine. Congratulations.

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I have a presentation.

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Some of us are loyal
and want to save this place.

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[Amelia] She'll get over it.
Everyone will.

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And I will come visit you.
I am pro-Minnesota.

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You are pro-sex in Minnesota.

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Well, well.
How far the mighty have fallen.

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What the hell did you all
do to this place?

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Probation? Really?

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You've always known
how to make an entrance.

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-[chuckles]
-[Amelia] Ooh.

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Trinity Lab's "HeartPatch"

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can be placed on a patient's arm or chest,

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and within seconds,
will continuously transmit ECG,

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respiratory rate, and oxygen saturation

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right to an app on your phone.

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You get instant monitoring of your patient

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while you're out doing rounds,
brushing your teeth--

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hell, you know what,

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you could even check them
on the golf course.

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[laughter]

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Phase III results rival the gold
standard telemetry monitors.

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And Grey-Sloan could be at the forefront

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of this cutting-edge technology.

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So, anybody has questions, I'm here,

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and don't forget, we got donuts.

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[laughter]

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[indistinct conversations]

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Hey.

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Thanks for the coffee.

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I like that suit. That's nice.

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Yeah, yeah.

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I got to look sharp for my Seattle Pres

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and St. Joseph's pitches this afternoon.

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[Maggie] You know,
we should try these patches

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on a couple of our patients today.

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Richard said that we needed
to improve our tech and "modernize."

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So...

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Really?

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Absolutely.

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Stay right here.

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I'll grab a few samples.

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Hey.

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What are you doing here?

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Snickerdoodles.

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My sister baked them
and insisted I bring you some.

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Oh, wow. That's so nice.

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Yeah, well, my office is walking
distance, so it wasn't--

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Oh, you're talking about
her making the cookies.

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[chuckles] Yes.

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But the delivery service
is also appreciated.

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-How's Laura?
-She's good,

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but I just heard about

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the residency program getting shut down.

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Am I gonna need to find her
a new hospital?

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It is not shut down.

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It's on probation, and it's just
the surgical residency program.

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Oh, okay, great. So I'll just make sure

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the paramedics don't send me here
if I get hit by a car.

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[laughs] Our attending
surgeons are very good.

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Yeah? Is that why they kicked you out?

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[laughs]

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Um, I have to get going to a meeting,
but I'll see you later?

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-Yes.
-Okay.

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Okay.

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I didn't realize you were still
hanging out with Tad.

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It's Todd, and yes.

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He brought me cookies.

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Because he's nice.

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How thoughtful. [chuckles]

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What's so funny?

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Nothing. I just see how hard
you're trying to like him.

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I want nice to be my type.

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Great. I support that.

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[indistinct announcement over PA]

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Hey, so, uh--

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So, this morning with Leo...

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Yeah, we should figure out what to do.

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What do you mean, "what to do"?

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Well, he's obviously confused.

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We should get a therapist.

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I mean, one for him and--
and one for us and--

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-[man screaming]
-Help! We need--

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Oh, wow.

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-Get a gurney now!
-[man groaning]

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What's his name? What's his name?

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-C-Colin.
-Okay.

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[Teddy] Alright, ma'am,
step over here, please.

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His name is Colin-- Colin Renfield.

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We work together at
an e-tail fulfillment center.

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His arm got cut off
on the conveyor belt 20 minutes ago.

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[man] Is that the, uh...

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His arm.

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[Owen] Okay, let's get saline and ice.

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Let's get him to Trauma One now. Let's go.

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[groaning]

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Is there anything else you need from me?

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-No, we're good, thank you.
-Okay, good.

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Why don't you wait over here and we'll--

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-Oh, God, she's going down!
-I got her!

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Alright, get the wheelchair.

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Alright. Alright.

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We got you.

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[Link] He's a little hypotensive.
Normal sats.

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Let's type and cross him for blood. Colin?

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Colin, we're gonna do a quick X-ray

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to assess your injuries, okay?

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Push another 50 of fentanyl.

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You can put my arm back on, right?

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We're gonna do our very best.

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-Okay? I promise.
-My wife...

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We'll inform her right away.

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This is a marathon surgery.
Could be 10 hours.

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Are you sure you're up for it?
No shame calling in reinforcements.

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What reinforcements?

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Okay, let's page neuro
and tell the OR we are on our way.

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Let's go.

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Heart rate and blood pressure
are improving.

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Sorry. I got... woozy.

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It's okay. You had a vasovagal response.

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It could be triggered
by a number of things.

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The sight of blood, emotional distress...

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How's Colin? Can they reattach his arm?

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They're still trying to figure it out.

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[sighs] It was horrifying.

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It just keeps replaying in my head,
over and over again.

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You saw it happen?

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[exhales sharply]

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The gears on the conveyor belt--
they made a terrible noise,

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and then Colin started screaming

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and his arm ripped off his shoulder

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and went flying around,

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spraying blood everywhere.

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It was on the floor, on the merchandise.

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Some of it hit my mouth.

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I...

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Oh, no, it's happening again.

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Alright. That's alright. We got you.

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I have a woman pregnant

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with a transplanted uterus
and her dead husband's sperm,

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and she's now experiencing pain.

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I mean, should I be transferring her

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to a hospital that isn't on probation?

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Well, the hospital isn't on probation.

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-Just the surgical residency program.
-[cellphone swishes]

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And also this hospital's
been through much worse.

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Okay, that doesn't make me feel better.

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But the transplant worked?

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Tovah's officially pregnant?

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Mm-hmm. One uterus, two IVF cycles.

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She is 11 weeks today.

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That's amazing.

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So, how much is David Hamilton
offering you?

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-Sorry.
-Oh, come on.

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The rumors are everywhere.

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I made so many people angry
by even considering it.

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Bailey?

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-And Richard.
-[elevator bell dings]

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Meredith Grey back in neuro,
pissing people off?

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-It's like I never left.
-[both chuckle]

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There she is. My favorite student.

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[chuckles]

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[Addison] Hi, Richard.

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You need to be trying to save
the program, not sulking.

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I am recruiting.

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These are résumés for attending surgeons.

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Right now, you need to be focused

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on keeping the residents.

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You know when a program goes
on probation, they panic, and flee,

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and we lose government funding.

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Well, they'll stay if we have
enough attendings to teach them.

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No, no.

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We will not hire any outside surgeons

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until we have assurance
that our residents intend to stay

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and plan to give good reviews
to the council's follow-up visit.

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-[sighs]
-In fact,

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you will speak to every one of them.

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Today. And I will observe.

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[sighs]

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Where are you going?

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To line up residents to beg.

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Highlight of my year.

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[grunts]

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[sighs]

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Haven't done a full arm
reattachment in years.

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I've never done one.

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Believe it or not, this is a career first.

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-Irrigation.
-[Amelia] Good to see you back in an OR.

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[chuckles]

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Are we ready to reattach an arm?

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Edges are all freshened up
and ready to go.

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Alright. Let's make sure we have

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plenty of blood product on hand,
and everybody buckle up.

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We are going nerve by nerve,

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vessel by vessel, muscle by muscle.

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I think we get the idea.

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I'm gonna scrub.

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[alarm blaring]

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-[flatlining]
-V-fib!

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[Amelia] He's lost too much blood.
Push epi.

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[Owen] Starting CPR.

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I know we have a blood shortage,
but call for another three units!

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Come on. Come on!

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[monitor beeping]

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Okay, back to sinus.

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[sighs]

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Hell of a first surgery back.

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Owen, you saved his life.

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But now he's too unstable
to reattach the arm.

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-Life before limb.
-I wanted to save both, okay?

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Let's get him up to the ICU
and prep him for resuscitation.

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[ultrasound warbling]

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-That's your baby.
-[Tovah chuckles]

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Heartbeat's strong.

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Oh, my God. [chuckles]

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Thank you.

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[chuckles]

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Hi, baby. Hi, sweetheart.

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[sobs] Sorry.

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You don't need to be sorry.

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I'm scared.

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It's my last embryo,

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from the last of my husband's sperm.

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-[Addison] And it's still there.
-Yeah.

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Okay, I'm gonna switch to
Doppler now, Schmitt.

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Have a look at the uterine vessels.

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[Tovah] So, if the baby's okay,

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why am I feeling all this
pressure in my belly?

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That is what we're trying
to figure out, Tovah.

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[ultrasound warbling]

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Have a look, Schmitt.

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Oh.

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What? What is it? Tell me.

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It looks like there's diminished blood

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flowing to both sides
of the uterus, Tovah.

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Right side looks a little thrombosed.

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It's a, a blood clot.

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Oh, no. Oh, God. But the baby--

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The baby is fine, okay? We just
need to order some more scans.

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Alright, let's order
an MR angio right away,

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and page Webber and Grey.

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I want their eyes on this
in case we need an IR intervention.

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Uh, both of them? They're--
They're having a little--

11:41.659 --> 11:43.369
Yeah, I don't care.
I'm not a high-school teacher.

11:43.452 --> 11:45.121
I don't care who's talking
to who and who isn't.

11:45.204 --> 11:46.205
Page Webber and Grey.

11:46.288 --> 11:47.623
Yes.

11:49.125 --> 11:51.085
Okay. Step at a time, Tovah.

11:51.168 --> 11:52.253
[door closes]

11:59.135 --> 12:00.678
[inhales sharply]

12:00.761 --> 12:02.555
[indistinct announcement over PA]

12:02.638 --> 12:05.933
[monitor beeping]

12:06.016 --> 12:07.393
How's Colin?

12:07.518 --> 12:08.978
He's okay.

12:09.061 --> 12:11.731
There was a slight complication
in the operating room,

12:11.814 --> 12:13.733
but we were able to resuscitate him.

12:13.816 --> 12:15.025
Thank God.

12:15.818 --> 12:17.069
And his arm?

12:17.153 --> 12:18.904
At this point, he's just not stable enough

12:18.988 --> 12:22.074
to withstand a 10-hour surgery
to reattach it.

12:22.158 --> 12:24.160
So, you'll do it later?

12:24.243 --> 12:26.120
[Owen] Unfortunately,
without blood flow...

12:26.203 --> 12:29.540
[sighs] his arm won't survive much longer.

12:29.623 --> 12:32.293
[sighs] This is all my fault.

12:32.376 --> 12:33.711
Yesterday, when I got to work,

12:33.794 --> 12:36.297
I saw that one of the conveyor
belts was acting up again,

12:36.380 --> 12:38.424
but I didn't tell anyone to fix it.

12:38.507 --> 12:40.593
When I got to work this morning,

12:41.927 --> 12:44.096
I wasn't paying attention,

12:44.180 --> 12:46.932
and then he switched it on.

12:47.850 --> 12:49.393
I could have done something.

12:49.477 --> 12:51.312
I could have stopped this
from even happening.

12:53.481 --> 12:55.024
Can I see him?

12:55.107 --> 12:56.525
Of course.

13:04.658 --> 13:08.370
Think about all the military vets
that we've seen lose limbs in combat,

13:08.454 --> 13:11.165
and they've gone on
to live very full lives.

13:11.248 --> 13:13.501
It's gonna be an adjustment, but...

13:15.753 --> 13:16.796
Wait, where are you going?

13:16.879 --> 13:17.755
To find that arm.

13:17.838 --> 13:19.381
I think I can save it.

13:21.926 --> 13:24.970
Two rounds of IVF, 11 weeks today, so...

13:25.429 --> 13:26.680
-Hey.
-Hey.

13:26.764 --> 13:29.099
Um, we already have a general surgeon.

13:29.183 --> 13:31.227
Oh. Well, if I'm not needed here.

13:31.310 --> 13:32.186
[Richard] Yeah, that's a good idea.

13:32.269 --> 13:33.813
Just leave and that'll fix everything.

13:33.896 --> 13:35.314
You are, and she is.

13:35.397 --> 13:37.233
You're not exactly subtle, you know that?

13:37.316 --> 13:38.776
Okay, as delightful as this is,

13:38.859 --> 13:42.071
I have a patient at risk
of losing her uterus and a fetus,

13:42.154 --> 13:44.365
so if we could just focus up here, please.

13:44.782 --> 13:48.869
[computer beeping]

13:48.953 --> 13:52.039
Damn it. The right outflow
is completely clotted off.

13:52.122 --> 13:54.708
The left side is severely stenosed,
but salvageable.

13:54.792 --> 13:57.169
We could do a fibrinolysis
and dissolve the clot.

13:57.545 --> 13:58.838
Not if you don't want to kill the fetus.

13:58.921 --> 14:01.131
Well, of course
I don't want to kill the fetus.

14:01.549 --> 14:03.884
We could do a balloon
angioplasty on the left side

14:03.968 --> 14:05.094
and see if that widens the blood vessel.

14:05.553 --> 14:06.804
Let's prep her for angio.

14:06.887 --> 14:08.180
You don't need the both of us there.

14:08.556 --> 14:10.766
On a normal case, I wouldn't,
but this isn't a normal case.

14:10.850 --> 14:12.893
Tovah's making medical history.
We all are.

14:12.977 --> 14:14.520
Look, I don't care what kind of

14:14.603 --> 14:16.772
giant dumpster fire this hospital is,

14:16.856 --> 14:18.649
I refuse to let Tovah burn with it.

14:18.732 --> 14:20.860
So, we're all adults here.
Let's act like it.

14:28.033 --> 14:32.413
[indistinct announcement over PA]

14:32.496 --> 14:34.373
-The ashes are falling.
-Oh!

14:34.456 --> 14:37.001
Hi, Bailey. H-How are you?

14:37.084 --> 14:38.544
I'm desperate. I'm in need.

14:38.627 --> 14:39.879
And if I remember correctly,

14:39.962 --> 14:41.755
I've been very good to you
when you were in need.

14:42.673 --> 14:44.425
Do you need something specific?

14:44.508 --> 14:47.928
I need you back
as a general surgery attending.

14:48.012 --> 14:50.639
And I know how big an ask this is,

14:50.723 --> 14:53.726
and I wouldn't be coming to you
if I had other options.

14:53.809 --> 14:56.812
You want me to just give up
my OB residency spot a year in?

14:56.896 --> 15:00.190
As soon as the program is off probation,
you can return to OB.

15:00.274 --> 15:02.651
Okay, and what if they fill
my spot in the meantime?

15:02.735 --> 15:04.236
On average, I'm having to cancel

15:04.320 --> 15:06.280
seven scheduled surgeries per day.

15:06.363 --> 15:08.574
That's seven patients who have to wait.

15:08.657 --> 15:12.119
That's seven surgeries
that residents do not get to assist.

15:12.202 --> 15:15.039
If I had even one more attending
on the schedule,

15:15.122 --> 15:18.500
you, well, I could
cut that number in half.

15:18.584 --> 15:19.919
Bailey--

15:20.002 --> 15:21.253
Please, don't make me beg.

15:21.337 --> 15:23.797
I don't like it,
and I'm not very good at it.

15:23.881 --> 15:25.925
Do I have to decide right now?

15:26.008 --> 15:28.719
You have to decide yesterday, if possible.

15:29.637 --> 15:32.389
This hospital has given you a lot, Wilson.

15:34.391 --> 15:36.226
Hopefully, you'll return the favor.

15:39.605 --> 15:42.650
That little Band-Aid's supposed
to monitor all my vitals?

15:42.733 --> 15:45.653
Heart rhythm, oxygen levels,
respiratory rate.

15:45.736 --> 15:47.905
There is even something
to measure your sleep quality.

15:47.988 --> 15:49.949
Whatever happened
to the good old stethoscope?

15:50.032 --> 15:50.950
[chuckles]

15:51.033 --> 15:52.326
Alright. Here you go.

15:52.409 --> 15:54.453
Sorry, our Wi-Fi is not having it today.

15:54.536 --> 15:56.330
Stethoscopes don't need no Wi-Fi.

15:56.413 --> 15:58.332
-[tablet beeps]
-[Maggie] Oh, it's up!

15:58.415 --> 16:01.210
-[flatlining]
-It says he's dead.

16:01.293 --> 16:02.878
-What?
-Huh?

16:02.962 --> 16:04.505
Yeah, it...

16:04.588 --> 16:06.090
Okay, hold on.

16:06.173 --> 16:07.758
Ah!

16:07.841 --> 16:09.969
-[tablet beeps]
-Try it now.

16:11.136 --> 16:12.972
-[flatlining]
-Oh, no, you're dead, too.

16:13.055 --> 16:14.682
I find that slightly comforting.

16:20.437 --> 16:23.983
You basically re-created
an entire circulatory system

16:24.066 --> 16:25.150
to support the arm.

16:25.234 --> 16:27.111
It's called ex-vivo limb perfusion.

16:27.486 --> 16:28.737
It was being tested for military use

16:28.821 --> 16:29.905
when Teddy and I were in Iraq.

16:29.989 --> 16:31.031
-[Link] Think it'll work?
-[Owen] I hope so.

16:31.115 --> 16:32.074
I'll keep you both posted.

16:32.157 --> 16:33.993
Thank you.

16:36.620 --> 16:37.997
That's so cool.

16:38.914 --> 16:41.291
Owen, this technique hasn't been
approved for civilian use.

16:41.375 --> 16:43.085
And if it works, what does it matter?

16:43.168 --> 16:44.795
-If the military finds out--
-Then they will say,

16:44.878 --> 16:47.006
"Congratulations, Dr. Hunt.
You saved an arm."

16:47.089 --> 16:48.757
Do you really want
their attention right now?

16:48.841 --> 16:50.259
I will cross that bridge
if it comes to it.

16:50.342 --> 16:53.512
Oh. So your plan is to just wing it?

16:53.595 --> 16:55.055
Is that what you want to do with Leo?

16:56.098 --> 16:57.725
Owen, this is a big deal.

16:57.808 --> 17:00.102
What happened this morning is a big deal.

17:00.185 --> 17:02.104
Our son told us that he's a girl.

17:02.187 --> 17:04.106
Yes, and you immediately said,
"No, you're not."

17:04.189 --> 17:06.650
I know. I'm sorry. It-- It was a mistake.

17:07.651 --> 17:11.697
We've-- We've let him wear dresses
and we've laughed and smiled,

17:11.780 --> 17:15.034
but maybe we should be
paying closer attention.

17:15.117 --> 17:16.118
We can't just wing it.

17:16.201 --> 17:17.661
Think about how your mom is gonna react.

17:18.120 --> 17:20.122
We need to have a plan so that
we can try and help him.

17:20.205 --> 17:21.790
The only thing that needs help
in this exact moment

17:21.874 --> 17:23.042
is our patient.

17:23.125 --> 17:24.043
So, can you please just go
and check on him

17:24.126 --> 17:26.170
while I try and keep this arm from dying?

17:27.588 --> 17:28.964
[sighs]

17:42.603 --> 17:44.646
-[monitor beeping]
-Four generations of surgeons.

17:44.730 --> 17:47.024
All students of Dr. Richard Webber.

17:47.107 --> 17:49.985
Technically, it's three generations,
plus Dr. Webber.

17:52.321 --> 17:54.740
I-I literally don't know why I'm talking.

17:55.449 --> 17:58.285
You know, there was a time
when being my student meant something.

17:58.368 --> 17:59.953
But now, there's no loyalty.

18:00.037 --> 18:01.955
Spare me the loyalty speech, please.

18:02.039 --> 18:03.373
[Richard] In case you're curious, Schmitt,

18:03.457 --> 18:06.960
Dr. Montgomery was a machine
during her residency.

18:07.044 --> 18:08.045
There was a stretch where

18:08.128 --> 18:10.130
she and Derek Shepherd were my students.

18:10.214 --> 18:11.548
We're doing this now, huh?

18:11.632 --> 18:13.759
They did these gauntlets of
back-to-back surgeries

18:13.842 --> 18:14.968
over the course of several days.

18:15.052 --> 18:17.888
I mean, no sleep, barely a meal break.

18:17.971 --> 18:19.139
I mean, it was astonishing.

18:19.223 --> 18:20.808
[Addison] That's one version of the story.

18:20.891 --> 18:22.142
[Richard] Care to elaborate?

18:22.226 --> 18:23.352
Not particularly.

18:23.435 --> 18:25.104
Let's just say that my memory of that time

18:25.187 --> 18:27.356
isn't quite as romantic
as yours, Dr. Webber.

18:27.439 --> 18:28.982
[Richard] Well, would you prefer
that I talk about

18:29.066 --> 18:31.110
your residency years instead, Meredith?

18:32.111 --> 18:34.071
No, I would not.

18:36.782 --> 18:39.660
Of course the HeartPatches are garbage.

18:39.743 --> 18:41.537
My brother is a walking pawn shop.

18:41.620 --> 18:43.413
Maybe we got a bad batch.

18:43.497 --> 18:45.791
Or maybe we didn't apply it properly.

18:45.874 --> 18:48.001
Yeah, you know, somehow, I doubt that.

18:48.919 --> 18:51.797
Okay. Let's see.

18:52.422 --> 18:55.759
Hey, your pulse ox is good,
heart rate is good.

18:55.843 --> 18:58.512
Why don't you try doing something
to increase your heart rate?

19:01.223 --> 19:03.725
What are you doing? What are you doing?

19:03.809 --> 19:06.270
I am increasing my heart rate.

19:06.353 --> 19:08.272
Is it working?

19:08.355 --> 19:09.815
Actually, yeah.

19:09.898 --> 19:10.899
Mm.

19:10.983 --> 19:12.651
[monitor beeping]

19:12.734 --> 19:13.986
[flatlining]

19:14.069 --> 19:15.737
Oh, no. Oh.

19:15.821 --> 19:17.823
Well, I know you're not dead.

19:17.906 --> 19:21.076
You wanna stop
and go tell Wendell right now?

19:21.160 --> 19:22.452
Mnh-mnh.

19:23.162 --> 19:24.163
Nope.

19:26.248 --> 19:27.833
[door closes]

19:27.916 --> 19:29.209
-[coffee pours]
-[Link] Hey.

19:30.127 --> 19:32.045
If you tell me this coffee's
only for attendings,

19:32.129 --> 19:34.298
I will break the pot
into a thousand pieces.

19:34.381 --> 19:36.592
Okay. I'm sorry for earlier.

19:36.675 --> 19:37.885
You deserve a nice guy.

19:37.968 --> 19:39.887
It's... [sighs]

19:42.222 --> 19:43.932
Bailey asked me to come back
to general surgery

19:44.016 --> 19:45.517
to save the program.

19:45.601 --> 19:47.144
Wow.

19:47.227 --> 19:48.729
Yeah.

19:49.521 --> 19:51.148
So, what are you gonna do?

19:51.231 --> 19:53.108
I don't know. I just--

19:53.192 --> 19:54.610
Can we grab dinner tonight?

19:54.693 --> 19:57.821
I just-- I need to talk this
through over several drinks.

19:57.905 --> 19:58.864
Aren't you going out with Todd?

19:58.947 --> 20:00.490
Yes, but he doesn't talk medicine

20:00.574 --> 20:04.036
or accreditation probation,
so can you please just join us?

20:04.786 --> 20:06.622
Unless it's weird.

20:06.705 --> 20:09.041
Nope. Not weird.

20:09.124 --> 20:12.836
I'll do all the pros and cons
of vaginas versus colons.

20:12.920 --> 20:14.671
With the nice guy you're dating.

20:14.755 --> 20:16.381
Thank you. Joe's?

20:16.465 --> 20:19.343
-Of course.
-You're the best.

20:22.971 --> 20:24.181
Oh. Thank you.

20:24.264 --> 20:25.682
Yeah.

20:25.766 --> 20:27.893
So, um,

20:27.976 --> 20:31.230
ooh, what are you gonna tell
Wendell about the patch?

20:31.313 --> 20:33.190
Uh, I'm gonna tell him the truth.

20:33.273 --> 20:35.150
These don't work.

20:35.234 --> 20:36.693
It's a medical device.

20:36.777 --> 20:38.237
What if Grey-Sloan bought them?

20:38.320 --> 20:39.238
While on probation?

20:39.321 --> 20:40.405
-This place cannot--
-Whoa!

20:40.489 --> 20:41.907
Maggie, Winston.

20:41.990 --> 20:43.742
What's up, bro? You never texted me back.

20:43.825 --> 20:44.952
Is your shirt inside out?

20:46.119 --> 20:47.079
[chuckles]

20:47.162 --> 20:48.288
Yeah, I'm-- I'm just--

20:48.372 --> 20:50.582
Wait, are you gonna leave us a review?

20:50.666 --> 20:52.459
'Cause, you know I work off
commissions, right?

20:52.542 --> 20:54.253
And, uh, a rave from
a renowned heart surgeon

20:54.336 --> 20:56.463
would definitely give me a sales bump.

20:58.006 --> 20:59.299
These don't work.

20:59.383 --> 21:01.260
Ah, get out of here. [chuckles]

21:01.802 --> 21:03.178
What?

21:05.264 --> 21:06.265
Oh, oh, oh. You know what?

21:06.348 --> 21:07.933
I-I know what the problem was.

21:08.016 --> 21:10.227
I gave you the beta models from testing.

21:10.310 --> 21:11.979
No, these-- these are discontinued.

21:12.062 --> 21:13.522
Let me give you the retail model.

21:13.605 --> 21:14.731
Fully FDA approved.

21:15.732 --> 21:18.277
Okay, yeah, I guess we could try those.

21:20.153 --> 21:21.405
Right, Winston?

21:24.157 --> 21:25.284
Right.

21:26.034 --> 21:27.619
Let's go.

21:30.455 --> 21:33.458
[monitor beeping]

21:33.542 --> 21:35.043
Inflating the balloon.

21:35.127 --> 21:36.336
Let's get the stent ready.

21:36.420 --> 21:39.506
When did it become a thing
that we "owe" the hospital

21:39.589 --> 21:40.716
that we did our residency at?

21:40.799 --> 21:41.967
You trained at Columbia.

21:42.050 --> 21:43.343
I don't see you still working there.

21:43.427 --> 21:44.845
I don't think that's what anyone's saying.

21:44.928 --> 21:46.763
I have earned the right
to spread my wings.

21:46.847 --> 21:48.432
Of course you have.
But it's not just about that.

21:48.515 --> 21:51.435
Amelia told me that when you had COVID,
this place nearly broke without you.

21:51.518 --> 21:52.811
100%.

21:52.894 --> 21:54.479
[Meredith] The hospital broke
because of COVID.

21:54.563 --> 21:55.981
[Addison] And you weren't there
to lead them through it.

21:56.064 --> 21:58.442
I may remember you as a featherweight
in light blue scrubs, but apparently,

21:58.525 --> 22:00.277
you've become some sort of hospital mascot

22:00.360 --> 22:01.987
in the years since then. [chuckles]

22:02.070 --> 22:03.655
Okay, removing the catheter.

22:07.326 --> 22:09.828
You know that Richard's not mad
because he's losing a surgeon.

22:09.911 --> 22:11.538
I'm not his student anymore.

22:11.621 --> 22:12.831
You were never just his student.

22:12.914 --> 22:14.416
-[alarm beeping]
-Fetal decels.

22:14.499 --> 22:15.876
The uterus isn't getting
enough blood flow.

22:15.959 --> 22:17.461
Contrast and shoot fluoro.

22:21.757 --> 22:24.051
That left vessel
is completely clotted off.

22:24.134 --> 22:25.218
[Addison sighs]

22:33.393 --> 22:35.103
It's over.

22:35.187 --> 22:37.064
Damn it! Okay, um...

22:38.106 --> 22:41.318
Let's prep an ex-lap
and remove the uterus and fetus.

22:41.401 --> 22:42.819
Okay, no, no, no.

22:42.903 --> 22:44.279
We can do a vascular revision.

22:44.363 --> 22:46.031
If we can harvest the saphenous vein,

22:46.406 --> 22:48.075
we can maybe bypass the thrombosed vessels

22:48.158 --> 22:49.785
and save the pregnancy and the uterus.

22:51.703 --> 22:53.455
Prep the abdomen and leg.

22:53.789 --> 22:54.748
We're opening her up, and, Richard,

22:54.831 --> 22:55.957
I swear, if your head's not in this--

22:56.041 --> 22:57.417
I'm right here. Let's do it.

22:57.501 --> 22:58.960
Scrubbing in.

23:11.306 --> 23:12.891
[door opens]

23:12.974 --> 23:13.934
[knock on door]

23:14.017 --> 23:15.602
Oh, Dr. Wright.

23:15.685 --> 23:17.646
Do come in.

23:17.729 --> 23:20.190
I've heard so many good things about you.

23:20.273 --> 23:21.358
Wow. Really?

23:21.441 --> 23:24.903
Yes. Dr. Bailey is quite the fan.

23:24.986 --> 23:27.697
Well, uh, the feeling's mutual.

23:27.781 --> 23:29.741
Dr. Wright, why do you draw?

23:30.283 --> 23:33.120
I mean, I know you draw every surgery

23:33.203 --> 23:34.913
before you perform it, but why?

23:34.996 --> 23:36.289
I'm ambitious, Dr. Bailey.

23:36.373 --> 23:38.333
I always knew I wanted to be a surgeon,

23:38.417 --> 23:40.419
but it's hard to have
the patience it takes--

23:40.502 --> 23:42.170
doing every step
without getting ahead of yourself.

23:42.254 --> 23:45.841
But when you draw the body,

23:45.924 --> 23:48.093
I mean, you see the body, yeah,

23:48.176 --> 23:50.387
but by taking the time to draw it,

23:50.470 --> 23:53.890
you're telling yourself
that the body's worth your time,

23:53.974 --> 23:55.976
worth taking a closer look at.

23:56.059 --> 23:58.395
So then, when a body's
on an operating table,

23:58.770 --> 24:01.148
it's-- it's not something
trying to defeat you.

24:02.065 --> 24:03.775
The body's a work of art.

24:10.740 --> 24:11.783
What's this?

24:11.867 --> 24:13.785
Um, it's the, uh, forms

24:13.869 --> 24:17.205
to complete your transfer,
uh, back to the Clinic.

24:17.289 --> 24:19.207
Oh, you mean from the Clinic?

24:19.291 --> 24:21.751
I called your program director
in Minnesota.

24:21.835 --> 24:24.004
They still haven't filled your spot.

24:24.087 --> 24:26.298
-Miranda.
-Did I do something wrong?

24:26.381 --> 24:29.468
[Bailey] Quite the opposite.
Your work is stellar.

24:29.551 --> 24:32.804
You are one of the finest residents

24:32.888 --> 24:34.806
I've had the pleasure of teaching.

24:34.890 --> 24:37.017
Which is why you need to leave.

24:37.100 --> 24:39.728
Dr. Bailey, can we have
a word outside, please?

24:39.811 --> 24:42.355
This is my office. If you want
a word, you can have it here.

24:44.733 --> 24:47.819
Dr. Wright, what Dr. Bailey's
trying to say to you--

24:47.903 --> 24:52.824
What I am trying to say is
if I fail to save this program,

24:52.908 --> 24:54.910
which I might through no fault of my own,

24:54.993 --> 24:57.370
every resident will be orphaned.

24:57.454 --> 25:01.625
I don't know if you'd be able
to get a spot somewhere else,

25:01.708 --> 25:04.920
and I want to protect your future.

25:05.420 --> 25:08.423
[voice breaking] So... please...

25:09.591 --> 25:11.009
go back to Minnesota.

25:11.092 --> 25:14.012
[Geographer's "The Reason" plays]

25:16.932 --> 25:20.810
And hey, you can still learn
from Meredith Grey out there.

25:25.941 --> 25:28.276
[monitor beeping]

25:32.447 --> 25:37.953
♪ What have I become? ♪

25:38.036 --> 25:39.704
[Meredith] Clot scissors, please.

25:40.956 --> 25:45.502
♪ Water on the sun ♪

25:45.585 --> 25:46.628
Cutting the vein.

25:47.087 --> 25:49.798
-[Levi] Removing the vein.
-[Meredith] Syringe, please.

25:49.881 --> 25:53.885
♪ The bullet in the gun ♪

25:53.969 --> 25:56.388
Let's flush the vein.

25:56.471 --> 26:02.310
♪ The light inside the siren ♪

26:02.811 --> 26:04.771
No leaking. Perfect.

26:05.772 --> 26:07.315
Here you go, Dr. Webber.

26:07.399 --> 26:10.902
♪ The reason's going in and out ♪

26:12.988 --> 26:14.072
[Addison] Suture.

26:14.155 --> 26:19.452
♪ Our lonely ghosts
Will scream and shout ♪

26:19.536 --> 26:21.246
One more.

26:21.830 --> 26:22.998
There we go.

26:23.081 --> 26:26.585
♪ If they could only Hear me now ♪

26:26.668 --> 26:28.587
I think we're done here.

26:28.670 --> 26:29.879
[Richard] Okay. Unclamp.

26:30.297 --> 26:32.674
[Addison] Unclamping. Sponge stick.

26:32.757 --> 26:36.970
♪ They'd leave their chains
Upon the ground ♪

26:37.053 --> 26:38.763
♪ 'Cause the reason's with me now ♪

26:38.847 --> 26:40.432
Blood flow looks good.

26:40.515 --> 26:42.642
-No leaks.
-I think we did it.

26:42.726 --> 26:44.978
Schmitt, go and get the Doppler
and check the fetal heartbeat.

26:45.061 --> 26:46.313
[Levi] Stand by.

26:54.279 --> 26:55.488
Schmitt?

26:55.572 --> 26:58.325
[monitor beeping]

27:02.037 --> 27:03.288
No.

27:06.082 --> 27:07.542
No.

27:08.918 --> 27:10.003
No!

27:10.086 --> 27:12.213
[clattering]

27:21.056 --> 27:22.557
[sighs]

27:23.600 --> 27:24.893
Addison, I'm so sorry.

27:25.894 --> 27:27.729
[exhales sharply]

27:27.812 --> 27:29.105
Yeah, me, too.

27:31.399 --> 27:33.735
Okay, let's prep for a D&C.

27:37.364 --> 27:39.616
This looks like the same model.

27:39.699 --> 27:41.951
It is. There is no other model.

27:43.828 --> 27:44.996
I don't understand.

27:45.830 --> 27:47.582
I got a loan, and I bought it.

27:47.666 --> 27:49.167
All of it.

27:49.250 --> 27:51.544
You're saying it doesn't work?

27:51.628 --> 27:53.546
Look, Winston, if I can't
sell this stuff--

27:53.630 --> 27:55.590
You got a loan?

27:55.674 --> 27:57.676
Yeah, like-- like, from a bank?

27:58.968 --> 27:59.844
Not from a bank.

28:01.388 --> 28:02.806
How could you be this stupid?

28:03.932 --> 28:06.101
No, you know what?
How could I be this stupid?

28:06.184 --> 28:08.186
You said you had a real job.

28:08.269 --> 28:10.313
You were working on commission.
You lied to me.

28:10.397 --> 28:11.606
It works.

28:11.690 --> 28:14.317
I swear. I-I saw it on
an online presentation.

28:14.401 --> 28:15.944
Oh, my God, dude.

28:16.027 --> 28:17.487
Look, I saw an opportunity.

28:17.570 --> 28:18.738
Surgeons in the family,

28:18.822 --> 28:20.615
direct connection to the Fox Foundation.

28:20.699 --> 28:21.574
Look, I put the pieces together,
and I went for it.

28:21.658 --> 28:23.118
How much are you out?

28:24.119 --> 28:25.078
10 grand.

28:25.161 --> 28:26.246
[exhales sharply]

28:26.329 --> 28:27.997
Look, everything I have is in this.

28:28.081 --> 28:29.666
If you're saying it doesn't work,

28:29.749 --> 28:32.794
if-- if I can't sell this stuff...

28:32.877 --> 28:34.921
you have to help me sell it

28:35.004 --> 28:36.381
or pay back the loan.

28:36.464 --> 28:37.340
Wendell--

28:37.424 --> 28:39.426
If you're my brother,

28:39.509 --> 28:40.885
if we're family, you will.

28:42.429 --> 28:44.347
You have to help me.

28:44.431 --> 28:45.432
Please.

28:50.937 --> 28:53.732
[Teddy] Colin's wife is half an hour away.

28:53.815 --> 28:55.108
It worked?

28:55.191 --> 28:56.568
Yep. Toxins are flushing,

28:56.651 --> 28:58.069
arm is looking pink,

28:58.153 --> 29:00.655
and tissue is oxygenating properly.

29:00.739 --> 29:01.990
That's great news.

29:05.660 --> 29:09.164
Listen, Teddy,
I'm not winging it with Leo, okay?

29:09.831 --> 29:11.833
I'm just-- I thought this might happen

29:11.916 --> 29:13.501
ever since he started
wearing a tutu, didn't you?

29:13.585 --> 29:14.753
At four? No.

29:14.836 --> 29:16.963
I thought we were raising a son
who loves dress-up.

29:17.046 --> 29:19.841
Teddy, if Leo says, "I'm a girl,"

29:19.924 --> 29:21.468
-I'm gonna listen.
-So, that's it?

29:21.551 --> 29:23.928
We're just gonna tell everyone
that Leo's a girl now?

29:24.012 --> 29:25.346
What, before he can even
tie his own shoes?

29:25.430 --> 29:26.639
Maybe? I don't know.

29:26.723 --> 29:27.849
He might change his mind in two months.

29:27.932 --> 29:29.809
Then we'll just tell everyone
that he's a boy again.

29:29.893 --> 29:30.894
Won't that be even more confusing?

29:30.977 --> 29:32.270
I don't know, Teddy.

29:32.353 --> 29:33.646
I don't have all the answers, okay?

29:33.730 --> 29:36.232
I just think we have to follow his lead.

29:43.948 --> 29:45.492
Meredith Grey.

29:45.575 --> 29:46.951
Catherine, I can't do this right now.

29:47.035 --> 29:48.703
You would leave this place right when it--

29:48.787 --> 29:50.330
-Catherine--
-Do not interrupt me!

29:50.413 --> 29:51.873
Please don't talk to her that way.

29:51.956 --> 29:53.875
You are not her boss, nor are you mine.

29:53.958 --> 29:54.876
-Boss?
-Excuse you?

29:54.959 --> 29:56.002
This is about honor.

29:56.085 --> 29:57.504
This is about the standing
of this hospital.

29:57.587 --> 29:58.797
-[Addison] Okay, can we not do this?
-The standing of this foundation!

29:58.880 --> 30:00.173
Can we just stop?

30:00.256 --> 30:01.549
For a minute.

30:02.634 --> 30:04.886
A woman just lost her pregnancy.

30:04.969 --> 30:06.971
A pregnancy that she fought for

30:07.055 --> 30:08.890
with everything that she had
left in her body.

30:08.973 --> 30:11.226
Through grief, through pain, through loss.

30:11.726 --> 30:14.103
She fought and she lost her pregnancy.

30:14.187 --> 30:17.941
Can we just take a moment
[chuckles] and honor her?

30:18.024 --> 30:20.318
Just a moment to honor Tovah?

30:35.375 --> 30:38.044
[Luke Sital-Singh's "Turning Tides" plays]

30:38.127 --> 30:40.922
Mrs. Renfield, your husband
has been through major trauma.

30:41.005 --> 30:43.132
[voice breaking] Will he be okay?

30:43.216 --> 30:45.093
He has to be okay.

30:45.176 --> 30:47.178
We've given him some time to stabilize,

30:47.262 --> 30:48.888
but we've scheduled his surgery

30:48.972 --> 30:49.973
for first thing tomorrow morning.

30:50.056 --> 30:52.851
It was touch and go, but in the end,
we were able to save it.

30:52.934 --> 30:54.352
We're gonna reattach the arm.

30:54.435 --> 30:55.687
Thank God.

30:55.770 --> 30:58.231
Thank you. Thank you so much.

30:58.314 --> 31:00.358
♪ Maybe this time ♪

31:00.441 --> 31:04.320
♪ There'll be more to say ♪

31:05.071 --> 31:07.365
♪ It'll all have changed ♪

31:07.448 --> 31:10.076
-[crying]
-I'm so sorry, Tovah.

31:10.159 --> 31:13.371
We'll try again, just as soon as we can.

31:13.454 --> 31:15.456
[sobbing]

31:15.540 --> 31:18.835
♪ I've got a worried mind ♪

31:18.918 --> 31:22.005
♪ Maybe half the time ♪

31:22.088 --> 31:23.715
When my grandfather died,

31:24.382 --> 31:27.176
our rabbi taught me the Mourner's Kaddish.

31:29.137 --> 31:32.974
I know it's not really
the normal time to say it,

31:33.057 --> 31:35.768
but it's always helped me.

31:35.852 --> 31:38.771
[sobbing]

31:38.855 --> 31:42.650
♪ And I get hurt ♪

31:42.734 --> 31:44.569
♪ But I get by ♪

31:44.652 --> 31:48.239
Yitgadal v'yitkadash sh'mei

31:48.323 --> 31:52.702
raba b'alma di-v'ra

31:52.869 --> 31:56.331
chirutei, v'yamlich malchutei

31:56.414 --> 32:01.044
b'chayeichon uvyomeichon uvchayei,

32:01.127 --> 32:03.212
d'chol beit yisrael,

32:06.382 --> 32:10.345
ba'agala uvizman kariv.

32:10.428 --> 32:12.805
V'im'ru. Amen.

32:12.889 --> 32:15.058
-Amen.
-[sobbing]

32:15.141 --> 32:18.269
♪ Like an unheard prayer ♪

32:18.353 --> 32:20.521
♪ But it's alright ♪

32:20.605 --> 32:25.526
♪ If we just hold on tight ♪

32:25.610 --> 32:28.821
♪ They'll be wearing gold ♪

32:28.905 --> 32:31.824
♪ When my story's told ♪

32:31.908 --> 32:34.827
♪ I love ♪

32:34.911 --> 32:36.871
I feel like I failed her.

32:36.955 --> 32:39.290
Her uterus is still intact.

32:39.374 --> 32:40.458
She can try again.

32:40.541 --> 32:42.293
Yeah, but not with her husband.

32:42.377 --> 32:44.545
♪ Can someone slow The turning tides ♪

32:44.629 --> 32:47.799
You really don't remember
your residency fondly?

32:47.882 --> 32:48.841
[chuckles]

32:48.925 --> 32:50.593
Do you?

32:50.677 --> 32:51.844
Oh, come on, Richard.

32:51.928 --> 32:53.680
You changed my life. Okay?

32:53.763 --> 32:56.265
But I remember pain.

32:56.349 --> 32:57.850
I remember insomnia.

32:57.934 --> 32:59.310
I remember bullying attendings.

32:59.394 --> 33:02.855
I remember learning to treat... patients

33:02.939 --> 33:05.483
as wins and losses instead of people.

33:05.566 --> 33:07.151
Took me years to unlearn that.

33:08.945 --> 33:11.906
I mean, people haven't complained before.

33:11.990 --> 33:13.074
I mean, not like this.

33:13.157 --> 33:14.409
Come on.

33:14.492 --> 33:16.869
We couldn't complain. I couldn't complain.

33:16.953 --> 33:18.162
The surgery world's small.

33:18.246 --> 33:20.540
If you complain, you lose your spot,
and you never get it back.

33:20.623 --> 33:23.418
That was the culture,
and you know it, Richard.

33:23.501 --> 33:26.796
Look, you know, you are trying to save

33:26.879 --> 33:29.132
a version of the program that is old.

33:29.215 --> 33:31.050
It's broken, alright?

33:31.134 --> 33:33.886
You gotta stop
with the reminiscing about the past

33:33.970 --> 33:36.139
and look to the future.

33:36.222 --> 33:37.724
What's the new way to train surgeons?

33:37.807 --> 33:40.143
I tried that. It got us shut down.

33:40.226 --> 33:43.146
Well... try again.

33:43.229 --> 33:45.857
♪ Ooh ♪

33:45.940 --> 33:51.029
♪ Oh, I won't be far behind ♪

33:51.904 --> 33:53.906
So, if you say yes...

33:53.990 --> 33:55.950
Then I could lose my OB residency spot.

33:56.034 --> 33:58.327
And if she says no,
then the chief of surgery

33:58.411 --> 34:01.205
asked her for a favor,
and she was like, "Nah."

34:01.289 --> 34:04.125
Got it. So, it's a Hobson's choice.

34:04.208 --> 34:05.501
Mm.

34:05.585 --> 34:09.047
When you're offered a choice
and there's really only one option.

34:09.130 --> 34:10.923
Oh. [chuckles]

34:11.007 --> 34:13.468
When I was in grad school,
I told my dissertation chair

34:13.551 --> 34:17.680
that I wanted to study the impact
of climate change on global migration.

34:17.764 --> 34:19.640
So, in addition to environmental science,

34:19.724 --> 34:23.644
it would involve public policy,
sociology, and geography.

34:23.728 --> 34:25.855
Is this story your way
of telling us you have a PhD?

34:25.938 --> 34:28.232
I already knew that,
but isn't that what you studied?

34:28.316 --> 34:29.942
[Todd] Yeah. I decided to go for it.

34:30.026 --> 34:32.612
I basically lived at the library,
but I did it,

34:32.695 --> 34:34.906
and I didn't have to spend
a year of my life

34:34.989 --> 34:37.784
studying the atmospheric effect of moss,

34:37.867 --> 34:39.577
which is what she wanted me to do.

34:39.660 --> 34:40.953
I mean, no offense to moss,

34:41.037 --> 34:44.957
but point is, maybe you could do both.

34:45.041 --> 34:46.542
I mean, I know it'd be more work,

34:46.626 --> 34:49.962
but if that's what you want,
I say go for it.

34:52.882 --> 34:55.384
What he said. Yeah.

34:55.468 --> 34:57.386
Keep your residency
and moonlight for Bailey.

34:57.470 --> 34:58.638
I've seen you handle worse.

34:58.721 --> 35:00.515
But I have a baby. I have a tiny human.

35:00.598 --> 35:02.225
-Right.
-It's only for a few weeks,

35:02.308 --> 35:03.893
or a few months,

35:03.976 --> 35:07.772
and, uh, I can help you out with Luna.

35:10.858 --> 35:12.985
I could help with Luna, too.

35:14.070 --> 35:15.279
Yeah, no, scratch that.

35:15.363 --> 35:16.280
Next round's on me, though.

35:16.364 --> 35:17.907
-Okay.
-Okay.

35:31.295 --> 35:33.005
-Hey.
-Hey.

35:40.221 --> 35:41.848
I want Leo to be happy.

35:42.849 --> 35:46.394
I never wanted anything
but happiness for our kids.

35:47.186 --> 35:48.896
But I just, uh...

35:51.357 --> 35:52.984
I don't want to mess this up,

35:53.067 --> 35:56.904
and it just feels like there are
a million ways to get it wrong,

35:57.238 --> 36:00.241
and if Leo were 10, then we'd be
having a different conversation,

36:00.324 --> 36:04.162
but he's not, and, you know,
neither one of us

36:04.245 --> 36:08.291
has done enough research
to know how to handle this.

36:10.376 --> 36:11.711
And...

36:12.211 --> 36:13.129
[sighs]

36:15.006 --> 36:19.552
I want to get it right,
and going all-in now,

36:19.635 --> 36:22.263
it just-- it doesn't seem right, Owen.

36:26.559 --> 36:30.396
Hey, you remember
when Leo said that he was an owl?

36:32.440 --> 36:34.650
Did you feel the need to, you know,

36:34.734 --> 36:36.777
call him silly and correct him?

36:36.861 --> 36:38.654
[sighs]

36:38.738 --> 36:39.989
-No.
-No.

36:40.072 --> 36:41.782
No, you just loved him.

36:42.658 --> 36:44.160
You just let him explore.

36:46.037 --> 36:48.748
Let's just love Leo, okay?

36:48.831 --> 36:51.542
Let's listen when he tells us who he is.

36:51.626 --> 36:53.419
It's more complicated than that.

36:53.502 --> 36:55.546
Yeah. Yeah. It is.

36:56.297 --> 36:57.965
Then let's get a therapist.

36:58.049 --> 36:59.425
But for us.

37:00.051 --> 37:01.552
For us, not for Leo.

37:01.636 --> 37:02.762
I'm not correcting Leo.

37:02.845 --> 37:06.766
I'm not telling Leo that there
is something wrong with Leo.

37:07.892 --> 37:10.811
Let's not be our kid's first bully.

37:10.895 --> 37:12.772
Yeah, I agree with all of that.

37:12.855 --> 37:14.649
I-I just...

37:14.732 --> 37:15.775
[sighs]

37:15.858 --> 37:18.361
What if we don't agree on the approach?

37:22.865 --> 37:24.283
Honestly?

37:25.451 --> 37:26.827
Honestly, I don't know.

37:30.539 --> 37:31.707
Therapy it is.

37:32.875 --> 37:34.210
Yeah.

37:56.190 --> 37:59.777
I was in pain when you came to see me.

37:59.860 --> 38:02.154
You dumped me and told me to go away.

38:02.780 --> 38:04.949
I know. I did.

38:05.032 --> 38:06.409
But...

38:07.827 --> 38:09.954
when you were in pain, I kept showing up.

38:10.663 --> 38:11.872
[elevator bell dings]

38:11.956 --> 38:14.083
I guess that's the difference
between me and you.

38:25.303 --> 38:26.637
[door opens]

38:28.848 --> 38:32.852
Um, I-I've arranged a phone call for us

38:32.935 --> 38:34.186
with a major consultant

38:34.270 --> 38:36.981
to help us with a more formalized plan.

38:37.064 --> 38:38.274
Where are you going?

38:38.733 --> 38:40.735
-On vacation.
-What?

38:40.818 --> 38:44.572
I haven't just taken
a vacation day ever in my life,

38:44.655 --> 38:47.658
and I have a new little girl at home,

38:47.742 --> 38:50.911
two teenaged boys
who haven't seen both me and Ben

38:50.995 --> 38:53.706
in the same room in months,

38:53.789 --> 38:54.790
and they need me.

38:54.874 --> 38:56.083
This hospital needs you.

38:56.167 --> 38:57.835
[chuckles] Yeah.

38:57.918 --> 38:59.879
This hospital needs too much of me.

38:59.962 --> 39:03.299
No, I'm done being the superhero.

39:03.382 --> 39:05.885
If Meredith Grey can go away,
then so can I.

39:05.968 --> 39:07.136
Miranda--

39:07.219 --> 39:09.263
Catherine, I respect the hell out of you.

39:09.347 --> 39:10.306
You know I do.

39:10.389 --> 39:12.600
And I know you understand what it's like

39:12.683 --> 39:16.437
to be a woman at the top of her field
who isn't allowed to rest.

39:16.520 --> 39:20.107
So, I need you to hear me when I say

39:20.191 --> 39:23.486
I'm not quitting, I'm not taking a leave

39:23.569 --> 39:25.738
or saying that I can't handle this job.

39:25.821 --> 39:28.491
I am taking a vacation... day.

39:28.574 --> 39:29.742
Maybe two.

39:29.825 --> 39:31.285
[exhales sharply]

39:31.369 --> 39:32.953
'Cause I'm no good to you like this.

39:34.663 --> 39:38.376
[Meredith] Put simply, burnout
comes from a deep imbalance.

39:38.459 --> 39:41.253
Too much stress with too few rewards.

39:41.337 --> 39:43.714
You're exhausted, depleted.

39:43.798 --> 39:44.924
♪ Feel so restless ♪

39:45.007 --> 39:47.635
♪ Feel so out of time ♪

39:47.718 --> 39:51.097
You no longer have patience,
pleasure, or serotonin.

39:51.180 --> 39:53.474
This is the end, unless...

39:53.557 --> 39:55.059
What are you doing here?

39:55.142 --> 39:56.936
Well, you know what?

39:57.019 --> 39:59.522
I don't even care.
I'm so happy to see you.

39:59.605 --> 40:01.899
No, but ask me.

40:01.982 --> 40:04.068
I have a speech.

40:04.151 --> 40:05.986
Oh. Okay.

40:06.070 --> 40:07.655
Nick, what are you doing here?

40:07.738 --> 40:09.365
Don't come to Minnesota.

40:09.448 --> 40:11.075
[sighs]

40:11.158 --> 40:12.284
Look, if you leave right now,

40:12.368 --> 40:14.120
your people won't be okay,
and you won't be okay.

40:14.203 --> 40:15.371
You won't be happy,

40:15.454 --> 40:17.581
and you'll always resent me
just a little bit.

40:17.665 --> 40:18.791
And I know you have kids.

40:18.874 --> 40:20.418
They're gonna have to get used
to me being around,

40:20.501 --> 40:21.877
but I am gonna get my own place,

40:21.961 --> 40:23.796
and we are gonna do this thing
the normal way.

40:23.879 --> 40:24.964
You know, having dinner together

40:25.047 --> 40:27.508
and not having to get on a plane
just to kiss each other.

40:27.591 --> 40:30.136
And look, I have days,
I have tons of personal days,

40:30.219 --> 40:32.179
and I'm taking a few months
and I'm staying here,

40:32.263 --> 40:34.807
and I'm gonna work locum tenens
at Grey-Sloan,

40:34.890 --> 40:37.643
and we can be together.

40:37.726 --> 40:38.978
Here.

40:42.064 --> 40:43.566
I have the right to leave.

40:43.649 --> 40:46.193
I've earned the right to leave.

40:46.277 --> 40:48.446
Other people from my residency class,

40:48.529 --> 40:50.656
they left and took other opportunities.

40:50.739 --> 40:52.992
I stayed. I worked. I researched.

40:53.075 --> 40:55.995
I won awards for that place.

40:56.078 --> 40:59.248
I did everything that was expected of me,
and then some.

40:59.331 --> 41:02.460
And now, if I want to leave,
I'm considered disloyal?

41:02.543 --> 41:05.337
It's ridiculous. It's absurd.

41:14.096 --> 41:15.431
You know what else it is?

41:15.514 --> 41:19.268
It's my decision,
and I've made my decision.

41:19.351 --> 41:22.438
So this is all very patronizing.

41:22.521 --> 41:28.319
♪ If you think you were wrong ♪

41:28.402 --> 41:31.697
♪ Every time that your eyes meet mine ♪

41:31.780 --> 41:34.033
♪ I feel unsteady ♪

41:34.116 --> 41:36.827
Okay. [scoffs]

41:36.911 --> 41:39.580
I-I wasn't suggesting
we stay here forever.

41:39.663 --> 41:42.500
I'm suggesting we stay long enough
to save the program.

41:42.583 --> 41:43.876
And then we can go to Minnesota.

41:43.959 --> 41:45.628
We can go wherever we want,

41:45.711 --> 41:47.922
because you have absolutely
earned the right to leave.

41:48.005 --> 41:49.548
You couldn't have led with that?

41:49.632 --> 41:51.759
I thought I had. I'm sorry.

41:51.842 --> 41:55.888
♪ Ooh ♪

41:55.971 --> 41:57.598
[sighs]

41:57.681 --> 41:59.934
Now you've seen my angry side.

42:00.851 --> 42:03.229
I'm not gonna lie, it was kinda scary.

42:03.312 --> 42:04.563
[chuckles]

42:04.647 --> 42:06.315
[chuckles]

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[Meredith] You turn it into something else
and find your path to recovery.

42:16.992 --> 42:18.118
What?

42:18.202 --> 42:19.578
[sighs]

42:21.163 --> 42:22.831
Okay. Fine.

42:23.499 --> 42:25.251
We can stay.

42:25.334 --> 42:27.336
But just for a little while.

42:29.171 --> 42:31.173
Pick the pieces you want from your life...

42:32.633 --> 42:34.260
and find a new way forward.

42:34.343 --> 42:40.015
♪ We were not ready to fall ♪