WEBVTT 00:02.711 --> 00:06.089 [Meredith] Throughout history, traumatic experiences have caused 00:06.172 --> 00:08.133 physiological responses 00:08.216 --> 00:11.678 long after the events themselves have passed. 00:11.761 --> 00:14.055 Racing heart, pupil dilation, 00:14.139 --> 00:16.141 nightmares, panic attacks... 00:16.224 --> 00:17.600 How do you have so much energy? 00:17.684 --> 00:19.561 Didn't you get home at, like, 3 a.m.? 00:19.644 --> 00:21.813 Exhaustion is a construct. Mind over matter. 00:21.896 --> 00:24.733 [pop music playing] 00:24.816 --> 00:25.942 Stethoscopes or diplomas? 00:27.527 --> 00:28.528 No. 00:29.696 --> 00:30.697 Are those clip-ons? 00:30.780 --> 00:34.075 You cannot wear those to stand up in my wedding! 00:34.159 --> 00:37.037 My dad likes to commemorate accomplishments with formal wear. 00:37.120 --> 00:39.289 Your dad has questionable taste. 00:39.372 --> 00:40.498 That's what my mom says. 00:40.582 --> 00:42.333 Well, we're going shopping. My treat. 00:42.417 --> 00:44.377 Oh, since you're treating us to things, 00:44.461 --> 00:46.588 can toilet paper be your treat? 'Cause we're out. 00:46.671 --> 00:49.382 [Meredith] Mesopotamian soldiers depicted these symptoms 00:49.466 --> 00:53.136 on cuneiform tablets over 3,000 years ago. 00:53.219 --> 00:55.472 Yet post-traumatic stress disorder 00:55.555 --> 01:01.227 wasn't introduced as a diagnosable mental health condition until 1980. 01:01.311 --> 01:02.312 Doing anything tonight? 01:02.395 --> 01:03.605 Why? 01:03.688 --> 01:05.440 Well, there's a new bar that opened in my neighborhood. 01:05.523 --> 01:07.025 It looks pretty cool. 01:07.108 --> 01:09.527 Can give it about a week before the tech bros take it over. 01:09.611 --> 01:10.612 Want to check it out? 01:11.321 --> 01:12.572 Sounds like a date. 01:13.156 --> 01:17.494 Nope, not a date. Just two co-workers getting a drink. 01:18.203 --> 01:19.204 No, thanks. 01:19.287 --> 01:20.497 Hey, look. 01:20.580 --> 01:23.958 Would you really rather be hangin' out with your 80-year-old roommate 01:24.042 --> 01:26.294 and her friends than get one drink with me? 01:28.880 --> 01:29.881 Yeah. 01:29.964 --> 01:33.051 [Meredith] It's a lesson we learn in medicine time and time again. 01:34.886 --> 01:36.888 Just because we don't have the words 01:36.971 --> 01:39.182 doesn't mean the symptoms aren't real. 01:40.308 --> 01:45.563 Hey, Scout, should we show Jo and Luna what we've been working on? Huh? 01:45.647 --> 01:47.315 Let's do it. Ready? 01:47.398 --> 01:51.653 -♪ A, B, C, D... ♪ -♪ A, B, C, D, E... ♪ 01:51.736 --> 01:52.862 You've been learning sign language? 01:52.946 --> 01:54.072 I found an app 01:54.155 --> 01:56.157 that teaches the ASL alphabet. 01:57.325 --> 02:00.328 Now your face is telling me that I screwed up. Did I screw up? 02:00.411 --> 02:02.705 I told you that I needed more time. 02:02.789 --> 02:04.624 We don't even have her MRI results back, 02:04.707 --> 02:08.211 her genetic testing, you're... you're learning sign language? 02:15.468 --> 02:18.721 Wait, now, first, you saved this man on a fire, 02:18.805 --> 02:20.807 now you're sitting at his bedside? 02:20.890 --> 02:22.475 You want me to sit with you? 02:23.768 --> 02:25.145 No, I... 02:25.228 --> 02:27.188 You've got a crisis of your own to deal with. 02:27.814 --> 02:30.108 [groans] 02:31.025 --> 02:33.736 We're gonna get through this. All of it. 02:33.820 --> 02:34.904 Yeah. 02:36.156 --> 02:37.157 [moans softly] 02:38.533 --> 02:40.076 [Ben groans, sighs] 02:43.705 --> 02:44.789 What the...? 02:48.042 --> 02:49.210 [chuckles softly] 02:49.294 --> 02:51.296 Well, who let you in here? 02:51.379 --> 02:53.214 Well, I had to restock the PRT, 02:53.298 --> 02:55.925 so I thought I'd swing by and say hi to you. 02:56.009 --> 02:59.262 Hi. And my favorite patient. 02:59.345 --> 03:01.931 You're so adorable, huh? 03:02.015 --> 03:04.601 -Yes, you are. -So you couldn't get supplies in Illinois? 03:04.684 --> 03:06.853 Well, I could, but Illinois just doesn't have Connor, so... 03:06.936 --> 03:08.188 No, they don't. 03:08.271 --> 03:09.939 All right. You've had your fun. My turn. 03:10.023 --> 03:11.107 Come on, up, up, up. 03:11.733 --> 03:12.734 [Bailey giggles] 03:16.863 --> 03:19.324 -How's his mom doing? -Better every day. 03:21.075 --> 03:22.160 Okay, up now. 03:22.952 --> 03:24.621 -Any pain there? -No. 03:24.704 --> 03:26.956 Is there any way to speed this up? There's somewhere I have to be. 03:27.040 --> 03:28.041 I'm going as fast as I can. 03:29.000 --> 03:31.044 Ah, Dr. Adams, Dr. Millin, this is Matt. 03:31.127 --> 03:33.838 I just cleared a C-spine. I just need you to get him up to CT. 03:33.922 --> 03:35.048 How'd you hurt yourself? 03:35.131 --> 03:37.425 -Took a sword to the neck. -A foam sword. 03:37.508 --> 03:38.885 It has a plywood core. 03:39.552 --> 03:40.553 LARPing accident. 03:42.222 --> 03:43.598 Why do you think I would know what that is? 03:43.681 --> 03:44.933 Live-action role-playing. 03:46.017 --> 03:47.268 The guys in the park with the swords. 03:47.352 --> 03:49.437 Now I see why you think I would know that. 03:49.520 --> 03:53.358 If his CT is negative, just keep him here for observation, 03:53.441 --> 03:55.068 make sure that the swelling in his trachea 03:55.151 --> 03:56.277 doesn't compromise his airway. 03:56.361 --> 03:57.946 Page me if you need anything. 03:58.696 --> 03:59.989 Can I please just go now? 04:00.073 --> 04:03.493 I feel fine, and this is my only shot to usurp the game master. 04:03.576 --> 04:06.996 If I don't get back to the park before sunset, that's it. 04:07.080 --> 04:08.581 Well, if your trachea swells up enough, 04:08.665 --> 04:11.918 the air doesn't reach your lungs, that is also it. 04:13.086 --> 04:15.213 Statistically, what are the chances of that happening? 04:15.296 --> 04:18.049 Look, no disrespect, but this game is make-believe. 04:18.132 --> 04:20.051 Is it worth risking actual death? 04:20.134 --> 04:23.054 Depending on the statistics... maybe? 04:23.137 --> 04:24.806 I get it now. 04:24.889 --> 04:25.890 This is about a girl. 04:25.974 --> 04:28.434 Oh, my God. Not everything is about love. 04:28.518 --> 04:30.353 Princess Astrid of Dungeness. 04:30.436 --> 04:31.521 See? 04:32.021 --> 04:33.106 Unbelievable. 04:33.189 --> 04:34.691 It was love at first sight. 04:34.774 --> 04:36.651 For six years, I've loved her. 04:36.734 --> 04:39.237 Today, I shall declare it. 04:39.320 --> 04:40.405 She is my destiny. 04:40.488 --> 04:43.116 [quirky music playing] 04:44.575 --> 04:46.494 [Richard] Good morning, Mr. Porter. 04:46.577 --> 04:48.913 I'm Dr. Webber, this is Dr. Yasuda. 04:48.997 --> 04:50.707 We're gonna be doing your colonoscopy today. 04:50.790 --> 04:51.874 Yasuda? 04:52.500 --> 04:53.918 Russell Porter, 31. 04:54.002 --> 04:56.462 Experiencing unintentional weight loss and anemia, 04:56.546 --> 04:58.923 has a family history of colon cancer. 04:59.007 --> 05:01.551 Referred by his PCP for a diagnostic colonoscopy. 05:01.634 --> 05:02.719 Are you doing okay? 05:03.636 --> 05:06.055 -He doesn't like hospitals. -I'm fine. 05:06.139 --> 05:08.433 Well, in about 15 minutes, you're not gonna know where you are. 05:08.516 --> 05:10.018 It'll be the best nap of your life. 05:10.101 --> 05:12.270 That sounds great. Can I get a colonoscopy too? 05:12.353 --> 05:13.604 [all chuckle] 05:15.023 --> 05:16.149 Where are we? 05:16.232 --> 05:17.817 We're in the hospital, baby. 05:17.900 --> 05:19.193 No, no, no. 05:19.944 --> 05:20.945 Get this off of me! 05:21.029 --> 05:22.071 -Ru... Russell-- -Get it off! 05:22.155 --> 05:23.656 -Russell, you're okay. -Who are you? 05:23.740 --> 05:26.117 Wha... what's happening? Why doesn't he remember who I am? 05:26.200 --> 05:27.869 Let's forget about the colonoscopy. 05:27.952 --> 05:29.996 Let's get ahead CT and page Dr. Shepherd, okay? 05:30.079 --> 05:31.497 Yeah. Hi, I'm Dr. Yasuda. 05:31.581 --> 05:32.665 Do you want to just come with me now-- 05:32.749 --> 05:34.542 -Get away from me. Don't come near me! -[tray clatters] 05:34.625 --> 05:35.668 Okay. Oh, my... 05:35.752 --> 05:38.129 -[Richard] It's all right. It's all right. -Get away from me. 05:38.212 --> 05:39.922 [sobbing] Get away from me. 05:54.771 --> 05:56.564 [Jonathan groaning] 05:56.647 --> 05:57.648 [Blue] Any nausea? 05:57.732 --> 05:58.775 [Jonathan] Oh, yeah. 05:58.858 --> 06:00.985 And the pain on your side, on a scale of one to 10? 06:01.069 --> 06:04.030 Seven. Most days nine on a bad day. 06:04.113 --> 06:05.656 That's gotta be stones, right? 06:07.450 --> 06:10.370 -I've always had trouble with my kidneys. -What kind of trouble? 06:10.453 --> 06:12.622 Had the right one removed several years back. 06:12.705 --> 06:14.040 But the pain is currently on the right? 06:14.123 --> 06:18.795 Left. I had the left one removed. Ugh, I'm gettin' old. 06:18.878 --> 06:20.671 -Let's take a look. -[chuckles] 06:20.755 --> 06:23.341 Hey, is Dr. Bailey working today? 06:23.424 --> 06:24.842 I was looking on the Internet 06:24.926 --> 06:27.303 and it says she's the best doctor here for kidney problems. 06:27.387 --> 06:28.513 Think I could see her? 06:28.596 --> 06:31.432 She's busy, but I'll put in a page. 06:31.516 --> 06:34.018 In the meantime, we'll take some urine samples 06:34.102 --> 06:35.561 and some images, and we'll know more. 06:35.645 --> 06:37.397 Oh, thanks. I just don't wanna mess around 06:37.480 --> 06:39.273 with the only kidney I have left, you know? 06:39.774 --> 06:42.652 [woman over PA] Dr. Birch to Oncology. Dr. Birch to Oncology. 06:52.120 --> 06:53.413 What are you doing? 06:53.996 --> 06:55.415 Exercise. 06:55.498 --> 06:57.667 Tox screen is negative. 06:57.750 --> 07:01.045 Blood work only shows anemia and mild renal impairment. 07:02.630 --> 07:05.842 Grace said Russell's been experiencing some brain fog lately. 07:05.925 --> 07:08.094 Pretty mild, until today. 07:08.177 --> 07:10.221 -She chalked it up to stress at work. -[computer chiming] 07:10.304 --> 07:11.639 -[Mika] Hm. -[Richard] Ah. 07:12.765 --> 07:15.643 Well, head scans are negative. 07:16.727 --> 07:18.646 [Mika] Are those what I think they are? 07:22.859 --> 07:23.943 [Richard] Russell, 07:24.026 --> 07:26.112 we see some bullets in your scan. 07:26.195 --> 07:29.073 When did you get shot? 07:29.157 --> 07:30.199 Eleven years ago. 07:30.867 --> 07:33.578 Went to the grocery store for taco seasoning, 07:33.661 --> 07:35.037 came out with three gunshot wounds. 07:35.872 --> 07:36.914 Can you imagine? 07:36.998 --> 07:38.708 Surviving a shooting and then having 07:38.791 --> 07:41.544 to walk around with metal inside you for the rest of your life? 07:41.627 --> 07:43.129 What were his symptoms again? 07:43.212 --> 07:46.257 Anemia, fatigue, weight loss, 07:46.340 --> 07:50.761 and now he's exhibiting brain fog, confusion. 07:50.845 --> 07:52.013 I'll... I'll go test his lead levels. 07:52.096 --> 07:53.181 Put a rush on it. 08:00.313 --> 08:02.857 He's been off the oscillator for three days now, 08:02.940 --> 08:06.235 -and they're minimizing the vent settings. -[phone buzzing] 08:07.612 --> 08:08.863 You're still getting calls? 08:10.698 --> 08:13.201 -[sighs] -You know, someone's heart stops 08:13.284 --> 08:16.537 on my table, I'm cool as a cucumber, 08:16.621 --> 08:20.500 but the phone rings and I... shake. I shake. 08:20.583 --> 08:22.293 'Cause it's terrifying. 08:22.376 --> 08:24.629 They're harassing you, and it's relentless. 08:24.712 --> 08:28.633 Ben almost died on duty the other day, again, 08:28.716 --> 08:33.513 so terrifying in my life has... layers. 08:33.596 --> 08:34.680 But when the phone rings, 08:34.764 --> 08:37.725 I don't know what I should be panicking about first. 08:37.808 --> 08:38.976 [phone buzzing] 08:39.060 --> 08:41.062 Again, never stops ringing. 08:43.189 --> 08:45.149 I just hope to God these lunatics 08:45.233 --> 08:47.944 will move on before I have a second heart attack. 08:48.027 --> 08:49.487 Wait, wait a minute, you had a heart attack? 08:49.570 --> 08:52.573 How did I not know about this? When? 08:52.657 --> 08:56.452 Years ago. Look, it's... it's fine. 08:56.536 --> 08:57.703 I'm fine. 08:57.787 --> 09:00.623 Everything is fine. 09:00.706 --> 09:04.335 If you're using fine as a stand-in for another four-letter word, 09:04.418 --> 09:06.337 I can get on board with that analysis. 09:06.420 --> 09:07.922 Okay. Nothing's fine. 09:09.173 --> 09:10.174 This helps, though. 09:12.468 --> 09:14.595 Yeah, well... 09:14.679 --> 09:18.891 I find there's not much a roomful of babies can't fix. 09:20.309 --> 09:21.561 And old friends. 09:24.522 --> 09:28.651 This is Dr. Hunt, our head of trauma surgery and an expert 09:28.734 --> 09:30.444 at treating gunshot victims. 09:30.528 --> 09:32.738 I don't understand. What does this have to do with his colon? 09:32.822 --> 09:33.906 Nothing. 09:33.990 --> 09:36.701 As it turns out, based on his blood work, 09:36.784 --> 09:38.160 Russell has lead poisoning. 09:38.911 --> 09:41.247 The bullet fragments in his chest and his spine 09:41.330 --> 09:43.332 have been leaching lead into his bloodstream 09:43.416 --> 09:44.750 and his spinal fluid. 09:44.834 --> 09:46.419 That explains all of your symptoms. 09:46.502 --> 09:49.672 The intermittent confusion, the forgetfulness, 09:49.755 --> 09:51.382 just like the episode you had earlier today. 09:51.465 --> 09:53.467 But the surgeons said it was riskier 09:53.551 --> 09:55.177 to take the bullets out than to leave them in. 09:55.261 --> 09:56.345 [Owen] Most of the time, that is true. 09:56.429 --> 09:58.723 The body forms scar tissue around the bullets, 09:58.806 --> 10:01.017 preventing lead from getting into the blood 10:01.100 --> 10:04.020 and the spinal fluid, but in some cases, like yours, 10:04.103 --> 10:05.646 that scar tissue never forms, 10:05.730 --> 10:08.357 and the best course of action is to remove them. 10:08.441 --> 10:11.277 So you'll remove the bullets, and my symptoms just go away? 10:11.360 --> 10:13.779 Within a few days, your lead levels will drop 10:13.863 --> 10:16.073 and your symptoms will gradually improve. 10:16.157 --> 10:17.575 And what about his confusion? 10:17.658 --> 10:20.620 There are no guarantees. It could take weeks, months, 10:20.703 --> 10:24.332 even years for the encephalopathy to subside, if at all. 10:24.415 --> 10:27.627 So I can go through all of this and still can't remember who my wife is? 10:27.710 --> 10:31.339 Hey, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere. 10:31.422 --> 10:33.215 I'll just keep reminding you, okay? 10:34.050 --> 10:36.427 When I heard the gunshots, I was in the cereal aisle. 10:39.639 --> 10:41.223 I tried to find a place to hide, 10:42.266 --> 10:44.143 but there was nowhere to go, it's a grocery store. 10:44.226 --> 10:45.519 I was totally exposed. 10:47.396 --> 10:50.483 So I got down on my knees and I prayed that I make it out alive. 10:52.693 --> 10:54.737 But if I would've known how much I'd suffer... 10:55.363 --> 10:57.114 I know that feeling, Russell. 10:58.699 --> 11:01.702 Listen, I'm a survivor of a shooting too. 11:01.786 --> 11:02.828 Too many of us are. 11:02.912 --> 11:05.790 It is a lifelong struggle whether you remove those bullets or not. 11:05.873 --> 11:08.376 So, in a way, you have nothing to lose. And who knows? 11:08.459 --> 11:11.921 If we can take away some of your physical pain, 11:12.004 --> 11:14.924 maybe that could help take away some of your other pain too. 11:15.007 --> 11:18.135 [somber music playing] 11:20.471 --> 11:21.472 Okay. 11:23.641 --> 11:24.809 Let's take 'em out. 11:25.685 --> 11:26.977 -Okay. -Okay. 11:30.398 --> 11:31.607 [knock on door] 11:31.691 --> 11:33.943 Dr. Shepherd? It's Mika. Yasuda. 11:34.026 --> 11:35.611 From Grey Sloan. 11:35.695 --> 11:38.114 Dr. Hunt and Dr. Webber told me to come get you. 11:38.197 --> 11:39.448 We need a neuro consult. 11:42.326 --> 11:44.453 Also, I really have to pee. 11:44.537 --> 11:45.788 Ugh. 11:51.794 --> 11:52.878 Bathroom's over there. 11:52.962 --> 11:55.214 You know what? It was a false alarm. I'm good. 11:55.297 --> 11:57.383 Should we get you dressed? Because-- Wait! 11:57.466 --> 11:58.467 Ow! 11:59.635 --> 12:01.178 Dr. Hunt says I can't leave without you. 12:01.262 --> 12:03.514 Call the backup neurosurgeon on call. 12:03.597 --> 12:07.893 We have a patient with a bullet embedded in his thoracic spine. 12:07.977 --> 12:09.353 It has to come out. 12:09.437 --> 12:12.648 Dr. Hunt says you're the only one who can do it. Please. 12:14.233 --> 12:15.359 -Fine. -Great. 12:15.443 --> 12:16.819 Uh, my van is out front. 12:16.902 --> 12:18.863 You have to kinda, like, lift and kick the door at the same time. 12:18.946 --> 12:20.072 -But you know what-- -I'll drive myself. 12:21.824 --> 12:22.908 I'll see you there. 12:27.204 --> 12:28.873 [indistinct PA announcement] 12:28.956 --> 12:29.957 -Hey. -Hey. 12:30.040 --> 12:32.001 What are you doing here? You hate pregnant women. 12:32.084 --> 12:35.212 Don't say that. It makes me sound like an awful person. 12:35.921 --> 12:38.132 -But I do feel hives coming on. -Yeah. 12:39.216 --> 12:40.926 Uh, I'm just checking on you. 12:42.261 --> 12:45.181 Well, I am waiting for Luna's test results 12:45.264 --> 12:49.018 to determine whether her hearing loss is due to an underlying disease. 12:49.101 --> 12:50.394 Yeah, I know. 12:51.312 --> 12:53.230 At daycare this morning, there was this mom, 12:53.314 --> 12:56.984 and she was fighting with her kid about taking off his bike helmet, 12:57.067 --> 12:59.612 and I just... I just wanted to scream, 12:59.695 --> 13:02.156 -"This is not a real problem!" -[light chuckle] 13:02.239 --> 13:05.201 And I know, it's all... relative, 13:05.284 --> 13:09.705 and truth is, is I would love it if my biggest problem right now 13:09.789 --> 13:11.999 was Luna refusing to take off her bike helmet. 13:12.082 --> 13:14.418 Yeah, don't we wanna encourage helmet wearing? 13:15.836 --> 13:18.631 I'm gonna stop trying to make you laugh. 13:18.714 --> 13:20.925 I might have all of these decisions to make. 13:21.008 --> 13:23.427 Hearing aids, cochlear implants, sign language. 13:23.511 --> 13:25.346 Things that will affect her for the rest of her life. 13:25.429 --> 13:29.558 And it's not like I can just ask her what she wants in 20 years. 13:29.642 --> 13:32.645 My job as a mom just changed in the blink of an eye, 13:32.728 --> 13:34.522 and I don't know if I'm gonna be very good at it. 13:34.605 --> 13:36.398 I'm not a parent, 13:36.482 --> 13:39.652 but I do have to deal with the parents of my patients a lot, 13:39.735 --> 13:40.986 so I'm kind of an expert. 13:41.862 --> 13:43.447 And what I-- I know 13:43.531 --> 13:46.116 is that you are not only good at it, you are great. 13:46.200 --> 13:48.285 And you're gonna continue being great, 13:48.369 --> 13:50.162 you are a great mom. 13:51.831 --> 13:52.873 Thanks. 13:53.707 --> 13:56.585 Oh, and if you need help with sign language, 13:56.669 --> 13:59.630 I do know "Happy birthday," 13:59.713 --> 14:02.341 "My name is Levi," 14:02.424 --> 14:04.343 and "butt." 14:06.595 --> 14:07.721 There, I did it. 14:07.805 --> 14:09.056 My work here is done. 14:14.436 --> 14:17.189 [indistinct PA announcement] 14:18.440 --> 14:20.693 Watch where you're going. 14:20.776 --> 14:22.111 What? 14:22.862 --> 14:24.154 -What... -Hey! 14:25.573 --> 14:28.200 Did Meredith tell you to come check on me? 14:28.284 --> 14:31.537 No, I was actually worried about Bailey. 14:31.620 --> 14:32.997 Why do I need to check on you? 14:33.080 --> 14:35.332 Oh, you know. I'm... It's fine. I'm-- 14:35.416 --> 14:38.043 Hey, come on, Amelia, it's me. Spit it out. 14:38.961 --> 14:40.045 Um... 14:41.255 --> 14:44.466 Mer moved, and then Maggie moved, and... 14:44.550 --> 14:45.593 then Kai left me, 14:45.676 --> 14:49.221 and so, I've been pretty much abandoned by everyone. 14:50.097 --> 14:52.349 And you know how well I do with the abandonment, so... 14:52.433 --> 14:53.517 Amelia. 14:54.393 --> 14:55.394 I have a consult. 14:58.439 --> 14:59.940 We need to remove the spinal bullet first. 15:00.024 --> 15:01.817 This is most likely causing the encephalopathy. 15:01.901 --> 15:03.569 What about the scattered fragments in the lung? 15:03.652 --> 15:06.363 Can we do a non-anatomic resection of the infected lung tissue? 15:06.447 --> 15:07.740 Yeah. Good. 15:07.823 --> 15:08.908 [Amelia] Please go ahead. 15:08.991 --> 15:10.409 Start without me. 15:10.492 --> 15:12.703 -We did. -Sorry, I got here as fast as I could. 15:12.786 --> 15:14.872 My van doesn't go over 45. 15:14.955 --> 15:16.040 Oh. 15:16.123 --> 15:17.583 I'll stop talking now. 15:17.666 --> 15:19.835 Assuming you can remove the bullet in the spine-- 15:19.919 --> 15:20.961 Assuming I can? 15:22.046 --> 15:24.673 You woke me up. I assume that you know that I can. 15:24.757 --> 15:27.593 Amelia, we really don't have time for whatever this is, okay? 15:27.676 --> 15:30.262 You go first. You'll remove the bullet from the spine, 15:30.346 --> 15:32.056 irrigate close and flip the patient, 15:32.139 --> 15:33.682 and then I'll start the thoracotomy. 15:33.766 --> 15:35.142 Anything else I should know? 15:35.225 --> 15:38.938 Did you wanna pick the music for the O.R. as well? 15:39.021 --> 15:41.815 Are there any other options you would like to discuss, Dr. Shepherd? 15:41.899 --> 15:43.067 Nope. 15:43.150 --> 15:45.235 Dr. Ndugu seems to be in charge here. 15:46.153 --> 15:48.155 Let's go with his plan. 15:52.993 --> 15:54.745 -[door closes] -Okay, what was that? 15:54.828 --> 15:56.163 Definitely not about you. 15:56.246 --> 15:57.998 -[Winston] All right. -[Owen] Okay. 15:58.082 --> 16:00.376 Are you experiencing an increase in pain? 16:00.459 --> 16:01.669 Nope. I feel great. 16:01.752 --> 16:02.878 Okay. 16:02.962 --> 16:04.463 -Whoa. -Whoa, where are you going? 16:04.546 --> 16:06.382 To the park. Do you know where my shoes are? 16:06.465 --> 16:08.342 Hey, no, we need to keep you a little longer 16:08.425 --> 16:09.426 just to make sure you're out of the woods. 16:09.510 --> 16:11.971 You're really gonna make me wait a full week to tell Astrid I love her? 16:12.054 --> 16:13.055 What's one more week? 16:13.138 --> 16:14.932 Today, when I almost died-- 16:15.015 --> 16:16.100 It was a foam sword. 16:16.183 --> 16:18.185 I fought to keep breathing with every molecule in my body. 16:18.268 --> 16:20.854 I couldn't let myself die without telling Astrid how I feel. 16:20.938 --> 16:23.315 You probably think it's crazy, but... 16:23.399 --> 16:24.608 I don't even know her real name. 16:24.692 --> 16:26.360 But I know her smile, 16:26.443 --> 16:27.987 and I know what makes her laugh, 16:28.070 --> 16:29.655 and I know her heart. 16:29.738 --> 16:30.739 And I have to tell her. 16:30.823 --> 16:34.618 Okay. You are full of adrenaline right now. You are not thinking clearly. 16:34.702 --> 16:36.996 Or maybe he's thinking clearly for the first time in his entire life. 16:38.163 --> 16:39.915 I mean, what if you go to the park 16:39.999 --> 16:41.667 and Princess Astrid doesn't feel the same way? 16:41.750 --> 16:43.585 Or maybe she's been in love with you this whole time too. 16:43.669 --> 16:44.962 Yeah, I prefer his take. 16:45.045 --> 16:47.172 Okay, stop encouraging him. 16:47.256 --> 16:53.387 This game is clearly your... your happy place. 16:53.470 --> 16:56.348 Do you really want to trash all of that 16:56.432 --> 16:59.351 for a girl whose real name you don't even know? 16:59.435 --> 17:03.188 You look like a princess, but you have the heart of an ogre. 17:03.272 --> 17:07.651 Correction, I look like a goddess and I have the heart of a person 17:07.735 --> 17:10.195 who tells sad men the whole truth. 17:10.279 --> 17:12.698 Or a troll. She has the heart of a troll. 17:13.824 --> 17:15.951 I'll give you your shoes back when I discharge you. 17:21.248 --> 17:22.416 [door closes] 17:23.751 --> 17:26.420 The urinalysis and X-ray both came back negative. 17:26.503 --> 17:27.504 Next steps? 17:27.588 --> 17:29.840 Run an ultrasound to fully rule out kidney stones. 17:29.923 --> 17:31.425 Good. So, what do you need me for? 17:31.508 --> 17:35.012 He said he only have one kidney, but there are clearly two in the films, 17:35.095 --> 17:36.930 and he doesn't have any surgical scars. 17:37.014 --> 17:39.516 -Also, he asked for you. -[sighs] 17:39.600 --> 17:41.518 I told him you were busy, but... 17:41.602 --> 17:42.811 Is it...? 17:43.812 --> 17:47.107 Hello, sir, I'm Dr. Bailey. Go ahead, Kwan. 17:47.775 --> 17:49.610 Been looking forward to meeting you. 17:49.693 --> 17:53.489 I'm flattered. Dr. Kwan is one of our finest interns. 17:53.572 --> 17:54.865 He's going to be doing an-- 17:54.948 --> 17:56.492 How are the kids? 17:56.575 --> 17:59.453 Oh. Oh, I'm sorry, have I treated you before? 17:59.536 --> 18:03.415 No, no, no. Just... just a fan. 18:04.166 --> 18:05.334 [awkward chuckle] 18:06.627 --> 18:08.462 How's the new place? 18:08.545 --> 18:10.714 The boys settling in okay? 18:11.465 --> 18:12.508 Excuse me? 18:12.591 --> 18:14.635 Young Pruitt has been through so much. 18:14.718 --> 18:18.972 I mean, it would be a real, real shame if something else were to happen. 18:22.017 --> 18:25.604 Ultrasound is negative. Uh, you can discharge him now. 18:25.687 --> 18:28.315 Whoa, now hang on, is that how you treat your patients? 18:28.398 --> 18:30.609 Sir, sit-- sit down. 18:30.692 --> 18:34.279 Or do you only extend common courtesy to other murderers? 18:34.363 --> 18:36.073 -Huh? Come back here! -Hey! 18:36.156 --> 18:38.033 I'm not finished with you, Dr. Baby Killer! 18:38.117 --> 18:40.619 [both grunting] 18:40.702 --> 18:41.870 Call security! 18:41.954 --> 18:44.123 [Jonathan] Hey! This isn't over! 18:44.206 --> 18:45.249 [Jonathan grunts] 18:45.332 --> 18:46.500 [Blue] Stay down. 19:02.766 --> 19:04.184 You know, I thought we were friends. 19:05.853 --> 19:09.481 Or at least colleagues who respected each other. 19:11.692 --> 19:13.193 Amelia, what is going on? 19:15.696 --> 19:18.991 What's going on is you let one of the only people in the world 19:19.074 --> 19:20.576 who cares whether I eat a hot meal 19:20.659 --> 19:23.287 or sleep for more than four hours in a night move to Chicago. 19:24.204 --> 19:27.708 You know as well as I do that no one let Maggie move. 19:27.791 --> 19:31.628 You're her husband. And you let your ego destroy what was once true love. 19:32.504 --> 19:36.592 Okay, I get that she's your sister, so there are sides here, 19:36.675 --> 19:38.427 but that is an oversimplification. 19:38.510 --> 19:42.431 Maggie will rise and rise and rise 19:42.514 --> 19:45.100 and she will go on to do even greater things, 19:45.184 --> 19:47.895 and you will always be in her shadow. 19:47.978 --> 19:50.439 And she may go on to forgive your smallness 19:50.522 --> 19:52.149 because that is how great she is, 19:52.232 --> 19:54.943 but I'm not. I won't. 19:55.027 --> 19:56.028 [sighs] 20:00.741 --> 20:02.409 [water running] 20:07.539 --> 20:10.834 If you need anything to make sure that Dr. Bailey is covered at all times, 20:10.918 --> 20:13.253 -just say the word. Thank you. -Yeah. 20:13.337 --> 20:17.549 Chief Altman, I wanted to apologize for attacking that patient. 20:17.633 --> 20:19.343 I know there are protocols in these situations-- 20:19.426 --> 20:22.846 The patient wasn't attacked. He fell while he was attacking Dr. Bailey. 20:22.930 --> 20:25.515 -Um... -That is the story as I heard it. 20:25.599 --> 20:28.185 So, this won't go in my file somewhere? 20:28.268 --> 20:29.269 I'm confused. 20:29.353 --> 20:31.813 Did something happen between you and the abusive patient? 20:31.897 --> 20:34.066 If so, I know nothing about it. 20:38.695 --> 20:40.489 Is that him? Is that him? 20:40.572 --> 20:42.074 Yes, but, Warren, listen to me. 20:42.157 --> 20:44.201 We both know that that won't help either of you. 20:44.284 --> 20:46.745 Okay, that intern over there, he's the one who took the bastard down. 20:46.828 --> 20:49.039 Why don't you put this manic energy to better use 20:49.122 --> 20:51.083 and go over there and thank him. 20:53.794 --> 20:55.003 -Fine. -Okay. Great. 20:55.087 --> 20:56.505 But if you wouldn't mind telling the bastard 20:56.588 --> 20:59.174 that Dr. Bailey's husband is a firefighter who breaks into houses 20:59.258 --> 21:02.010 with his axe for a living, and I'm gonna find out where he lives, 21:02.094 --> 21:04.805 -I'd appreciate it. -Okay, I got it. I got it. Thank you. 21:07.349 --> 21:10.811 [Amelia] Yasuda, slowly retract to help expose the dura. 21:12.896 --> 21:14.398 I need better visualization. 21:14.481 --> 21:15.941 Retractor. 21:17.359 --> 21:18.485 -Yasuda! -[retractor clatters] 21:18.568 --> 21:21.238 [Mika] I'm so sorry. I don't know what happened. 21:21.321 --> 21:22.698 [Amelia] I'll tell you what happened. You were not paying attention, 21:22.781 --> 21:24.324 and now our last sterile retractor is on the floor. 21:24.408 --> 21:26.201 -Pick it up... -Okay. 21:26.285 --> 21:27.452 ...and get out of my O.R. 21:27.536 --> 21:29.871 Is that really necessary? We can get a replacement in one minute. 21:29.955 --> 21:31.123 Do you want to be kicked out too? 21:31.206 --> 21:34.251 I really am so sorry. It won't happen again. 21:34.334 --> 21:36.795 Not with me, it won't. You are no longer welcome on my service. 21:37.462 --> 21:38.505 Out! 21:47.389 --> 21:50.475 [indistinct PA announcement] 21:53.520 --> 21:54.980 -Is he-- -He's doing great. 21:55.063 --> 21:57.524 Dr. Shepherd successfully removed the bullet from his spine. 21:57.607 --> 22:00.736 She's finishing up, and then Dr. Ndugu will start on the fragments in his lung. 22:00.819 --> 22:02.404 -Okay. -Okay. 22:02.487 --> 22:04.281 -That is good, right? -Yeah, good. 22:04.364 --> 22:05.574 Okay. 22:06.116 --> 22:07.159 [sobs] 22:09.161 --> 22:10.495 I'm sorry. 22:11.330 --> 22:13.332 -I'm sorry. -No, no apologies. 22:16.209 --> 22:17.252 It'll be a few hours. 22:17.336 --> 22:19.463 If you want to go home and get some sleep, you don't-- 22:19.546 --> 22:21.882 You know, he never told me what happened that day. 22:21.965 --> 22:23.800 We were newlyweds. 22:23.884 --> 22:26.762 And he calls me from the hospital saying he was grocery shopping 22:26.845 --> 22:30.098 and a guy comes in and just opens fire. 22:31.600 --> 22:33.018 That's all he ever said. 22:34.227 --> 22:37.773 He didn't want to talk about it. He didn't want to feel it. 22:39.149 --> 22:43.070 But I knew he did because we were planning on having kids, 22:43.570 --> 22:47.115 and then after that day, we weren't. 22:50.702 --> 22:53.580 [sobbing] 22:53.663 --> 22:56.625 I've tried so many times to talk to him about it. 22:58.085 --> 23:01.671 Because how can someone live with all that trauma inside of 'em? 23:03.048 --> 23:04.966 I always worried that... 23:06.551 --> 23:09.304 it was eating away at him emotionally, you know. 23:10.138 --> 23:13.475 I never thought that it could be killing him slowly, physically. 23:13.558 --> 23:16.186 We're going to make sure that does not happen. 23:17.270 --> 23:18.730 Sorry. 23:18.814 --> 23:22.275 Oh, I know you're busy. Go. Go, go. 23:22.359 --> 23:24.361 It's okay. I have a few minutes. 23:28.657 --> 23:30.867 [indistinct conversations] 23:33.161 --> 23:34.246 Hey. 23:35.872 --> 23:39.793 Hot chocolate. Figured you could use some good juju. 23:41.878 --> 23:43.380 -[grunts] -[liquid sploshes] 23:45.632 --> 23:47.551 If you wanted something else, you could have just said so. 23:47.634 --> 23:49.386 [sighs angrily] 23:49.469 --> 23:50.929 I thought that would make me feel better. 23:54.224 --> 23:55.892 Okay. Come on. 23:55.976 --> 23:57.310 [Bailey groans] 23:57.394 --> 24:02.107 Yell at me. Pretend I'm him. Or them. All of them. 24:02.190 --> 24:03.525 What do you want to say? Yell it at me. 24:03.608 --> 24:04.985 -No, I'm not-- -Miranda, 24:05.068 --> 24:07.737 he knew your daughter's full name. 24:07.821 --> 24:11.450 He knew my daughter's full name! 24:11.533 --> 24:14.119 He threatened my child! 24:15.829 --> 24:16.913 You... 24:18.331 --> 24:23.587 you would hurt a four-year-old girl in the name of life? 24:23.670 --> 24:27.591 As if you give two craps about life, or about children, 24:27.674 --> 24:30.051 or about the welfare of any other human 24:30.135 --> 24:32.596 other than your own self-righteous... 24:35.640 --> 24:40.103 I mean, as if you actually cared about making the world a better place. 24:40.187 --> 24:43.690 As if you listen to anything your own religion tells you! 24:43.773 --> 24:48.445 But you would hurt a child, my child, for what, just to prove a point? 24:49.362 --> 24:51.656 And then you have the nerve to call yourself "pro-life"? 24:51.740 --> 24:52.824 Well, shame on you. 24:53.617 --> 24:56.328 No, you are what is wrong in this world. Not me. 24:56.411 --> 24:59.664 Not my family. Not my child, you sick son of a... 25:01.208 --> 25:04.503 No. No. My mother used to say, 25:04.586 --> 25:07.339 "Kill 'em with kindness, Miranda." 25:08.048 --> 25:09.257 [frustrated sigh] 25:09.341 --> 25:13.178 I just wish that I could kill 'em with the truth! 25:16.014 --> 25:18.016 Maybe there's a way we can do both. 25:21.978 --> 25:25.649 He was a huge guy. I should have been scared, 25:25.732 --> 25:29.069 but all I could think about was saving Bailey. 25:29.152 --> 25:30.403 You're so brave. 25:31.821 --> 25:34.741 [Jules] Oh, look at her. She's practically salivating. 25:34.824 --> 25:36.409 And for Kwan? Yeesh. 25:36.493 --> 25:37.536 You jealous? 25:37.619 --> 25:39.371 -No. -Kinda seems like you are. 25:39.454 --> 25:40.455 I'm embarrassed for her. 25:40.539 --> 25:42.624 That's not a character flaw to want to be with somebody. 25:42.707 --> 25:46.002 Are we still talking about me or are we talking about you now? 25:48.922 --> 25:49.965 [sighs] 25:54.177 --> 25:57.889 [monitor beeping] 25:59.391 --> 26:01.476 We lost his airway. Code blue! 26:01.560 --> 26:03.478 -Getting him on oxygen. -Come on, Matt. Come on, come on, come on. 26:03.562 --> 26:05.897 -[woman] Code blue. Code blue. -[flatlining] 26:05.981 --> 26:07.023 No pulse. 26:07.774 --> 26:09.484 We need to intubate him now. Start CPR. 26:09.568 --> 26:11.194 Okay. Starting cardiac compressions. 26:11.278 --> 26:12.279 [Lucas] All right. 26:14.489 --> 26:15.991 [woman] Code blue. Code blue. 26:16.992 --> 26:19.411 There's too much swelling. I can't visualize the cords. 26:19.494 --> 26:20.495 We need to crike him. 26:20.579 --> 26:22.581 We're interns. We have to wait for Dr. Schmitt. 26:22.664 --> 26:24.249 [nurse] Page Dr. Schmitt. Page everyone. 26:24.332 --> 26:25.834 No, I can't do this. I can't watch him die. 26:25.917 --> 26:28.044 -We'll be fired! -You can leave if you want to. 26:28.128 --> 26:29.254 I'm saving his life. 26:29.337 --> 26:30.922 [woman] Code blue. Code blue. 26:31.006 --> 26:32.924 There's a crike tray in the drawer. 26:33.008 --> 26:35.051 [suspenseful music playing] 26:38.722 --> 26:41.099 Wait. We should put an IV bag underneath the shoulder blades. 26:41.182 --> 26:43.893 I saw Dr. Hunt do it. It'll open up his neck. 26:46.396 --> 26:48.273 [woman] Code blue. Code blue. 26:53.820 --> 26:55.071 Does anybody see Dr. Schmitt? 26:56.448 --> 26:57.490 Okay, let's do it. 26:57.574 --> 26:59.451 Just don't kill him. 26:59.534 --> 27:01.620 [suspenseful music continues] 27:08.585 --> 27:09.794 [Owen] Thank you, Dr. Shepherd. 27:09.878 --> 27:11.880 We'll update you when we're finished. 27:15.884 --> 27:19.721 She's angry that my wife left me. Doesn't seem quite fair. 27:19.804 --> 27:22.307 When Amelia is angry, she is rarely fair. 27:22.390 --> 27:23.558 [Winston sighs] Yeah. 27:23.642 --> 27:26.353 All right, Griffith. Talk me through this. What's the move? 27:26.436 --> 27:28.480 [Simone] Use the cautery to demarcate the line. 27:28.563 --> 27:30.106 [whirring] 27:30.190 --> 27:31.983 And then pass over with a GIA stapler. 27:32.067 --> 27:34.027 [Winston] Good. Now, show me. 27:34.110 --> 27:35.278 You want me to do it? 27:35.362 --> 27:37.989 With all due respect, are you sure? Dr. Pierce always said-- 27:38.073 --> 27:40.617 Dr. Pierce doesn't work here anymore, and I think you're ready. 27:43.953 --> 27:45.246 [Simone] GIA stapler. 27:52.212 --> 27:53.713 [instrument clanks] 27:53.797 --> 27:56.591 [Winston] Position the stapler. And fire it. 28:03.682 --> 28:05.433 [Simone] Uh, the edge is bleeding. 28:05.517 --> 28:06.518 Okay. How do you stop it? 28:09.145 --> 28:11.731 Ndugu, there are multiple bleeders. Maybe you should take over now? 28:11.815 --> 28:13.692 Hunt, kindly back off. Griffith, listen to me. 28:13.775 --> 28:16.611 If you stop now, the next time this happens, you'll panic even more. 28:16.695 --> 28:18.613 You can do this, all right? I know you can. 28:18.697 --> 28:20.657 Just focus. Take a deep breath and think. 28:22.492 --> 28:24.202 2-0 Vicryl on a pass. Stat. 28:25.161 --> 28:26.705 Forceps, stat. 28:28.707 --> 28:30.458 [Simone breathes deeply] 28:31.376 --> 28:33.920 Come on. Come on, come on, come on. 28:36.965 --> 28:39.551 Sutures are holding. Well done. 28:39.634 --> 28:40.635 Let's proceed. 28:43.138 --> 28:44.472 [sighs] 28:47.142 --> 28:48.518 Is he gonna be okay? 28:49.936 --> 28:52.689 When something goes wrong, your job is to page me 28:52.772 --> 28:54.399 and do nothing until I get there. 28:54.482 --> 28:56.818 -I paged code blue, but he was dying, so-- -Is he okay? 28:56.901 --> 28:59.988 I need to be sure that you understand that if he doesn't make it, 29:00.071 --> 29:01.364 your career is over. 29:02.031 --> 29:05.368 All that training for nothing. All you had to do was wait two minutes. 29:05.452 --> 29:06.494 He didn't have two minutes. 29:06.578 --> 29:09.622 If Adams hadn't stepped in, he would be in a coma right now. Or worse. 29:09.706 --> 29:13.877 It's tough enough to pay back student loans when you are a doctor. 29:14.461 --> 29:18.923 When they pull your license because you sliced a patient's neck 29:19.007 --> 29:21.593 with no one there to supervise you, it's way harder. 29:22.802 --> 29:26.139 You did the crike well. You saved his life. 29:27.140 --> 29:28.933 I'm admitting him to the ICU. 29:29.017 --> 29:30.226 -Thank God. -Oh, my God. 29:31.436 --> 29:34.981 That fear you're feeling, remember it next time and wait. 29:36.566 --> 29:38.067 [Jules exhales] 29:39.611 --> 29:42.697 Um, thanks for sticking up for me. 29:43.448 --> 29:45.617 Well, we couldn't let him die without declaring his love 29:45.700 --> 29:46.993 for a fictional character. 29:47.744 --> 29:51.164 What's your deal? Are you really just, like, anti-love? 29:52.665 --> 29:56.336 I went to med school in Colorado. I had a crush on a guy in o-chem, 29:56.419 --> 29:57.670 and that's where he was going. 29:57.754 --> 29:59.923 My mom encouraged me because according to her, 30:00.006 --> 30:02.842 love is not only everything, it is the only thing. 30:03.802 --> 30:06.262 And first semester, I failed gross anatomy 30:06.346 --> 30:09.808 because I was at his birthday party instead of studying for my final. 30:09.891 --> 30:11.684 His birthday party where he called me "Jane" 30:11.768 --> 30:14.145 and then made out with my best friend at the end of the night. 30:14.229 --> 30:18.274 My grades recovered, but surgical internships are so competitive. 30:18.358 --> 30:21.277 That's why I'm in the program for rejects and losers. 30:21.361 --> 30:26.366 Because my parents taught me to value an obsessive crush over my grades 30:26.449 --> 30:28.409 and my medical school aspirations. 30:29.244 --> 30:31.329 Have you ever thought that maybe there is a difference 30:31.412 --> 30:33.706 between a stupid obsessive crush and actual love? 30:34.457 --> 30:36.501 You sound exactly like my mother. 30:38.211 --> 30:40.797 -[door opens] -[Teddy sighs] 30:41.673 --> 30:47.053 Oh. Hey. You will not believe what I've been dealing with today. 30:48.847 --> 30:50.098 You okay? 30:50.723 --> 30:56.312 We removed bullet fragments from a mass shooting survivor today, 30:56.396 --> 30:59.566 and while we were in the O.R., there were two more shootings. 31:04.654 --> 31:07.907 [sighs] I don't recognize our country anymore. 31:08.992 --> 31:12.453 Weapons of war in grocery stores? At parades? In schools? 31:12.537 --> 31:15.540 Active shooter drills in third grade. 31:17.125 --> 31:18.418 We used to be horrified. 31:19.627 --> 31:21.796 You know, we used to grieve as a nation. But now? 31:22.839 --> 31:27.927 Now it happens so frequently, we don't even blink. And nothing changes. 31:30.471 --> 31:31.639 I feel hopeless. 31:36.519 --> 31:38.062 [knock on door] 31:38.146 --> 31:39.731 Okay. 31:39.814 --> 31:42.734 So, I have an idea. You're either gonna love it or hate it. 31:47.113 --> 31:49.699 Dr. Shepherd, I just want to reiterate how sorry I am. 31:49.782 --> 31:52.160 You lost focus while I had my hands inside a man's back. 31:52.243 --> 31:54.162 He's the one that you should be apologizing to. 31:55.163 --> 31:57.081 He's the one who trusted you while he was unconscious 31:57.165 --> 31:58.166 on an operating table. 31:58.249 --> 32:00.585 You don't let yourself get distracted when people are depending on you. 32:00.668 --> 32:02.420 When they are vulnerable and scared, 32:02.503 --> 32:04.631 that is when you give them everything that you've got. 32:04.714 --> 32:06.257 That is when you stay alert 32:06.341 --> 32:09.135 long enough not to drop a sharp metal object 32:09.218 --> 32:11.638 while someone's spine is exposed. 32:11.721 --> 32:13.681 I... I didn't drop it in him-- 32:13.765 --> 32:15.892 You're defending yourself? What is wrong with you? 32:15.975 --> 32:19.145 I'm really asking. Yasuda, what is wrong with you? 32:19.896 --> 32:21.272 Do I really need to answer-- 32:21.356 --> 32:24.442 No, you don't. Yasuda, you can go. You, come with me. 32:25.944 --> 32:27.236 Addi? 32:27.654 --> 32:30.198 Richard. Yeah, I'll find you later, okay? 32:31.908 --> 32:33.201 [door closes] 32:35.161 --> 32:36.245 Are you high? 32:37.789 --> 32:39.248 -No. -Is that the truth? 32:39.332 --> 32:40.541 I'm not high. 32:40.625 --> 32:43.586 -Are you using again? -No, I can't sleep. I... 32:44.295 --> 32:47.215 I can't eat. I am a wreck. I'm not using. God. 32:47.298 --> 32:49.175 Okay, great. Then I'm gonna go ahead 32:49.258 --> 32:51.302 and love you enough to tell you to pull your head 32:51.386 --> 32:54.430 out of your self-obsessed ass and get to an AA meeting 32:54.514 --> 32:57.016 because the world is already on fire. 32:57.100 --> 32:58.935 We don't need you burning anything else down, all right? 32:59.018 --> 33:00.186 I know you're in pain, 33:00.269 --> 33:04.232 and I know that you feel it more than most, but get to a meeting. 33:04.315 --> 33:06.526 Say a damn prayer. Call your sponsor. 33:06.609 --> 33:08.820 Then eat something and figure out a way 33:08.903 --> 33:12.615 to be of service to this... broken world 33:12.699 --> 33:14.826 instead of adding to everyone's pain. 33:14.909 --> 33:17.036 Because it starts with you trashing everybody else 33:17.120 --> 33:19.288 and it ends with you back in rehab. 33:19.372 --> 33:21.124 Again, if you're lucky. 33:22.375 --> 33:25.336 No one has abandoned you, Amelia. 33:25.420 --> 33:29.215 Everyone is just doing the best that they can. 33:29.298 --> 33:33.261 I love you and everyone else is just barely surviving, 33:33.344 --> 33:35.513 and that has nothing to do with you. 33:35.596 --> 33:39.434 I love you, and you need to make the decision to stop the spiral. 33:39.517 --> 33:41.561 And if you can't do it, you need to find someone, 33:41.644 --> 33:43.438 get someone to help you stop it. 33:49.777 --> 33:51.738 I love you, Amelia, 33:51.821 --> 33:56.325 and you gotta get off the damn ride before it's too late. 34:00.580 --> 34:01.748 [door closes] 34:01.831 --> 34:04.709 [Teddy] I know that we've all been worried about Dr. Bailey. 34:04.792 --> 34:10.006 What she is going through is frightening and invasive, 34:10.089 --> 34:12.633 and how it's not against the law is beyond me. 34:12.717 --> 34:18.014 What I do know is that it is easier to hurt a stranger than someone you know. 34:18.097 --> 34:23.603 Dr. Kwan is handing out lists of Dr. Bailey's most frequent callers. 34:23.686 --> 34:25.354 If you're wondering what you can do, 34:25.438 --> 34:28.649 call them, talk to them, be respectful, 34:28.733 --> 34:31.235 be kind, be familiar, 34:31.319 --> 34:34.072 and maybe they will think twice about picking up that phone again. 34:34.155 --> 34:35.740 [soulful music playing] 34:35.823 --> 34:38.409 Dr. Bailey would like you to know she's praying for you too. 34:39.118 --> 34:40.244 Mm-hmm. 34:41.996 --> 34:46.084 But even though she disagrees with you, Dr. Bailey respects your beliefs. 34:46.709 --> 34:49.295 I'm a better surgeon because Dr. Bailey is my teacher. 34:49.378 --> 34:51.881 Well, you know, when I see Dr. Bailey in the ER, I feel better 34:51.964 --> 34:53.591 because I know my patient is in good hands. 34:53.674 --> 34:57.303 And, Linda, the clinic she founded is for so much more than abortion. 34:57.386 --> 34:58.846 We deliver babies there. 34:58.930 --> 35:01.182 I'm sorry it freaks you out, but how do you think Dr. Bailey feels? 35:01.265 --> 35:04.352 Your prayers have been received and we are praying for you as well. 35:05.603 --> 35:08.106 Dr. Bailey loves her family and wants to keep them safe, 35:08.189 --> 35:09.816 which I'm sure you can understand. 35:09.899 --> 35:14.070 Above all else, Dr. Bailey is an incredible person 35:14.153 --> 35:17.031 and I am privileged to call her my friend. 35:17.115 --> 35:19.200 This is Dr. Winston Ndugu calling from Grey Sloan... 35:19.283 --> 35:21.953 Colleague of Dr. Miranda Bailey's. 35:22.036 --> 35:23.162 I understand you were trying to get a hold of her. 35:23.246 --> 35:25.498 We wish you and your family well. All right, take care. 35:25.581 --> 35:28.543 [soulful music continues] 35:30.878 --> 35:32.004 How're you feeling? 35:32.922 --> 35:33.965 Better. 35:35.842 --> 35:37.593 Hm. A little bit better. 35:53.151 --> 35:54.193 Can I help you? 35:54.277 --> 35:55.611 I'm looking for... 35:56.154 --> 35:59.991 This is gonna sound so weird. I don't know his name. 36:00.074 --> 36:02.285 Would you happen to be Princess Astrid? 36:03.077 --> 36:04.328 He talked about me? 36:05.246 --> 36:06.747 He's sedated right now. 36:06.831 --> 36:08.082 But when he wakes up, 36:08.624 --> 36:10.793 I'm sure he'll be very happy to see you. 36:10.877 --> 36:12.211 [How plays] 36:12.295 --> 36:15.715 ♪ I had wondered what was done to you ♪ 36:19.010 --> 36:23.806 ♪ To give you such a taste of flesh ♪ 36:31.772 --> 36:32.940 Are they all gone? 36:33.024 --> 36:34.358 We got every last piece. 36:36.402 --> 36:37.695 You did great, Russell. 36:39.989 --> 36:41.407 -Russell, you okay? -[Russell sniffles] 36:41.490 --> 36:44.577 I didn't realize how much I hated having those bullets inside of me. 36:45.328 --> 36:46.621 And now they're gone. 36:48.372 --> 36:49.790 They're finally gone. 36:49.874 --> 36:50.875 Baby. 36:50.958 --> 36:54.587 ♪ I hope your memory Is less vivid than mine ♪ 36:55.838 --> 36:57.673 [Russell sobbing] 36:57.757 --> 37:00.551 ♪ And is free From that awful maple light ♪ 37:00.635 --> 37:01.761 [phone ringing] 37:04.263 --> 37:06.641 Hello? Speaking. 37:06.724 --> 37:09.060 ♪ You had just done it in the dark ♪ 37:09.143 --> 37:13.272 ♪ So the pictures didn't burn so bright ♪ 37:13.356 --> 37:15.608 Okay. Thank you. 37:17.944 --> 37:20.363 ♪ But I forgive you now ♪ 37:20.446 --> 37:22.198 Excuse me. Sorry. 37:22.281 --> 37:25.284 ♪ Release you from all of the blame ♪ 37:25.368 --> 37:26.410 Link! 37:27.286 --> 37:28.329 What happened? 37:29.288 --> 37:31.249 She's okay. Luna is okay. 37:31.332 --> 37:36.128 She's healthy and she doesn't have tumors or cancer or anything. 37:36.212 --> 37:38.422 -So just isolated hearing loss? -Yes. 37:38.506 --> 37:41.842 And the technology has come a long way and we can learn sign language. 37:41.926 --> 37:44.929 And you did learn sign language because you're so wonderful, 37:45.012 --> 37:47.598 and I was an ass and I'm so sorry. 37:48.975 --> 37:51.060 -[Link grunts] -[Jo giggles] 37:55.690 --> 37:57.441 I did a stapled lung resection today. 37:57.525 --> 37:59.110 Whoa. Are you serious? 37:59.193 --> 38:01.153 It was terrifying and also the coolest thing 38:01.237 --> 38:02.363 I've ever done in my entire life. 38:02.446 --> 38:04.949 -I hate you right now but congratulations. -Thanks. 38:05.032 --> 38:08.077 I, um... I did an emergency crike today. 38:08.160 --> 38:10.204 -It was pretty badass. -What? 38:10.288 --> 38:12.373 Why didn't you open with that? Did you get in trouble? 38:12.456 --> 38:15.001 That's Trey. I gotta call him. But don't forget anything. 38:15.084 --> 38:16.502 I want a full play-by-play when I get home. 38:22.967 --> 38:24.343 I need you to be Simone's maid of honor. 38:25.678 --> 38:27.221 No, thank you. 38:27.305 --> 38:28.723 I'll do all your scut until the wedding. 38:31.142 --> 38:33.477 -Even my disimpactions? -Yes. 38:34.145 --> 38:35.229 You must really love her. 38:37.023 --> 38:38.524 You sound just like your mom. 38:46.032 --> 38:47.366 Hey. 38:50.786 --> 38:53.497 I haven't been to this bar, so it's... 38:53.581 --> 38:55.958 [mellow music playing] 39:00.087 --> 39:02.506 [Meredith] Traumatic events are turning points. 39:02.590 --> 39:05.051 There's a before and an after. 39:05.134 --> 39:07.303 [indistinct conversations] 39:18.606 --> 39:21.150 Sometimes it's hard to remember who you were before. 39:21.233 --> 39:22.860 -[knock on door] -Come in. 39:22.943 --> 39:25.821 -Hey, do you have a minute? -One. I'm about to run out the door. 39:25.905 --> 39:27.490 Okay, I'll be quick. I just wanted to make sure 39:27.573 --> 39:28.908 I'm being considered for chief of cardio. 39:28.991 --> 39:31.994 I have a sterling record and I'm committed to teaching. 39:32.828 --> 39:34.747 I think I'd be good at it. And I want it. 39:35.331 --> 39:36.749 I'll take it into consideration. 39:36.832 --> 39:38.584 -All right. Thank you. -Yep. 39:40.628 --> 39:42.880 Helm. What are you doing here? 39:42.963 --> 39:45.341 When I burned out, nobody stood up for me. 39:45.424 --> 39:47.593 So I'm standing up for Yasuda. 39:48.302 --> 39:50.638 Because if she can't afford to pay her student loans 39:50.721 --> 39:54.266 and also eat and live while she's learning how to save lives, 39:54.350 --> 39:56.143 there is something wrong with the system. 39:56.227 --> 39:59.313 And I know, I know. It's been broken for a long time. 39:59.397 --> 40:00.773 But that is not a reason not to fix it. 40:00.856 --> 40:03.150 And you're chief of surgery, so, hey, congratulations. 40:03.234 --> 40:06.278 It is your job to figure out how to support your interns 40:06.362 --> 40:10.074 instead of using and abusing them and then throwing them out with the trash! 40:13.035 --> 40:15.704 [Meredith] And it's even harder to figure out who you are after. 40:18.040 --> 40:19.250 [Maggie through video call] Well, so far, so good. 40:19.333 --> 40:21.168 I mean, Chicago is freezing, 40:21.252 --> 40:23.045 -it is no joke, but, um... -[chuckles] 40:24.380 --> 40:25.589 ...the lab is incredible. 40:25.673 --> 40:27.633 Well, that's good. You making friends? 40:27.716 --> 40:29.927 Yeah, everybody's been pretty nice so far. 40:30.010 --> 40:31.929 And is your apartment good? 40:32.012 --> 40:34.682 Oh, I have floor-to-ceiling windows with a lake view. 40:34.765 --> 40:36.809 Honestly, I think everybody complains about the weather 40:36.892 --> 40:38.144 to keep the real estate a secret. 40:38.227 --> 40:39.520 [chuckles] 40:40.104 --> 40:45.401 Uh, Maggie, I got to go. It looks like your sister might need a friend. 40:45.484 --> 40:47.194 Thank you for looking out for her. 40:47.278 --> 40:49.029 -Yeah. -[video call disconnects] 40:50.030 --> 40:51.157 Dr. Shepherd. 40:52.283 --> 40:55.578 [mellow music continues] 40:56.704 --> 41:03.002 [sighs] I am also in an alcoholic, self-obsessive spiral about abandonment, 41:03.085 --> 41:05.588 and I could really use a meeting. 41:09.341 --> 41:10.384 [Amelia groans softly] 41:10.468 --> 41:12.386 [Meredith] But if you look for your people 41:12.470 --> 41:14.138 and hold them close... 41:14.221 --> 41:18.017 I still can't believe you drove all the way out here for one day. 41:18.100 --> 41:21.562 We could have had everything you needed shipped right to you. 41:24.607 --> 41:26.484 Were you doing a wellness check on me? 41:26.567 --> 41:30.029 What, you think I could stay away when you're going through hell? 41:31.405 --> 41:33.199 No way. We're in this together. 41:33.282 --> 41:35.284 [mellow music continues] 41:43.167 --> 41:45.628 "This should keep you in business for a while. 41:45.711 --> 41:48.380 Keep fighting. Yang." 41:52.593 --> 41:54.929 All right. Let's load her up then. 41:57.848 --> 41:59.350 [Meredith] ...you will find your way again. 41:59.433 --> 42:03.020 [Bailey sighs] All right, now. 42:10.611 --> 42:13.614 [closing theme music playing]